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Would you be mad…

Sm2023's picture

If a fairly expensive gift purchased last Christmas was lost by SS (15 ) & it was discussed between me & my husband that it wouldn't be replaced by us & explained to SS that if he wanted another one he'd have to buy it himself, but then unbeknownst to you your husband purchased it again for him this Christmas, and when confronted about it was told he "forgot" about the convo stating one would not be purchased to replace the lost one...would you be mad? 

Harry's picture

There was a discussion and a solution.  Not to replaced a lost gift. And DH went against what was discussed .  Shows lack of respect to you. 

grannyd's picture

Angry? Absolutely! Since the gift was expensive, it's very unlikely that your husband would have 'forgotten' your agreement to not replace the purchase. His behaviour reeks of the classic 'Disney Dad' nonsense; unwilling to teach his careless child a valuable lesson re caring for a costly item.

I agree with Harry that your DH's parental failure shows a lack of respect for you and also, for himself.

la_dulce_vida's picture

The fact that the OP was surprised is a sign that her DH knew exactly what he was doing - hiding it from her.

Trudie's picture

...very angry!

RockyRoads's picture

Yes I would be angry. But it wouldn't matter.SO does what he wants no matter if we have agreed on it or not. You all have read my posts. My SO is a liar and says what he thinks I want to hear instead of the truth. 

MorningMia's picture

Yes, I'd be mad and going forward skid gift expenses would come solely from DH's wallet. No $ contributions from me moving on. 

Yesterdays's picture

He didn't forget. My husband says this too. He just wanted to do what he wanted without worry 

Harry's picture

DH is telling you, you dint matter. He will do what he thinks is right. You have no '''say'''. He doesn't respect you and your worth,  you are not his DD  but his wife a equal partner.  He's not treating you as a equal partner. 
'This is a crossroad point in your relationship. If you allowed this to happen  ..Your ideal of equal is out the window.  He put his DS before you. 
'I don't know what you should do. One thing is a exit plan. A marriage like this can not work.  DH ows you a nice couple only with out SS Vacation.  To a great resort. [ a place you can have a good time with out DH].  A place to show SS you rule the home.  Two. You open a bank account in your name only DH has no access to it and you start putting money in it.  The first is equal to SS gift cost. Then every month CS. amount. Into your account.

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Did he but it in addition to whatever he was going to get SS for Christmas - or in place of whatever else he was going to get? If he bought this item instead of something else, so their was no extra expense, I probably wouldn't be too upset. If he bought this as well as other expensive items, I would be mad.