My SDs would have said that when BioHo had them step-PAS'd. When they finally realized that BioHo was a big, fat liar, the rose-colored glasses were shattered. 

IMO, now-a-days in child centered families, it would totally be the SM that is asked to take the photo. When I was a kid it wasn't like that. We were expected to defer to adults, ask permission, entertain ourselves and don't interrupt or be disruptive. I didn't know a single adult who's life revolved around a child. I was respectful to my SM and wouldn't have dreamed of being mean or rude to her. 

He was core to the Rags clan even before day 1 of our marriage.  Though he definitely has been almost beyond consideration in my IL clan.  He just never spent any time with them on a regular basis. When DW left the  people's republic of SpermLand for university with infant SS on her hip, that was the end of notable interface between SS and my IL clan.  We maybe visited them a dozen times in the 16yrs under the CO.  Never for more than a few days.  They are all heavy into the ag scene, FFA, etc... SS was never exposed to it as an urban dwelling and raised kid.  Travel, adventures, concerts, etc, etc, etc... were his experiences growing up.  Not that there is anything wrong with the ag scene, 4H, FFA, etc... SS just did not have the exposure to things that are important to my extended IL clan.

The sad thing is that the SpermClan purposely did not include him in family photos. They always did them when he was not there.  Why one might ask?  Because his also out of wedlock younger Spermidiot spawned half sibs would invariably be wearing SS's clothing stolen by the SpermGrandHag on prior visitations.

Of course the missing clothes were never "stolen" just misplaced or SS forgot to pack them for return home.  Only, what 5-7yo packs their own bags?  

Nope, the Hag stole them. Without a doubt. Admittedly she stole them. "Child support paid for those clothes.  My grandkids can use them."  SS would travel to SpermLand in quality clothing and return in flea market crap.  Nikes... gone.  Anything with a name brand.... gone.  He came home in knock off cheap T-shirts, shorts, and plastic shoes.  When we were first married we visited friends in Utah during our move from CA to TX.  We bought him a very nice expensive winter coat. He was 2yo, He wore it for about 2yrs.  It was a couple of sizes large for him when we bought it.  When he was 4 he was in SpermLand on his 1wk of winter visitation and he came home wearing SpermGrandHag's florescent pink 25yo cheap ass ski bunny jacket.  We had out attorney smack them around over that.  We got his high quality winter coat back.  We never sent the pink monstrosity back. It went to GoodWill.  She cried that it was her HS ski bunny jacket.  We took the "you gave it to him" stance.  He outgrew the quality jacket before the following winter. The Hag called and begged us to send it to SpermLand with SS that next winter. Nope, my brother's kids wore it. All three of them.

The Hag even demanded SS's car seat when we had moved to TX. She wanted it for Spermidiot spawn, 2, 3, &4.  Nope it was long gone to Good Will.  He had outgrown it and we had a proper sized one by the time she got lippy about it.

Sadly, this did not end as SS reached his teens.  Then... his clothes were stolen by his Spermidiot.  Yep, that asshat stole his kid's clothes and wore them when cruising teen girls at the malls.  Even into his late 40s.

As step parents we often got the short end of the stick. On mothers day, in most things actually... But actually I don't discount the "other side" and that there are certainly other scenarios of how step families can play out.

I think there's likely a lot of step kids out there also who have been overlooked by parents/step parents and maybe left behind

I don't think families are one size fits all. I know I'm here because I felt I was unfairly treated however I don't think that's always the case. 

I think there sometimes ARE cases of step kids getting the short end of the stick too, and it's not to be discounted. 

Having said that, I've also seen the victimized step kid scenario play out, on here  on Reddit... The hard done by step kid that doesn't want to invite the step mother to their wedding... Only their father, etc and it's quite ridiculous. 

But..i do think sometimes step kids can be overlooked in some families for sure. They are just not the ones on here. 

I think the stepfamily dynamics can go both ways. My first husband married someone who didn't have children of her own. My kids weren't perfect, but they were kids. They tried hard to connect with their SM because they wanted their dad to be happy. She kept them at armslength from herself and eventually from her and their dad's life. My kids could never tell if she didn't like them, or just didn't know how to interact with them. When their dad died, the picture became much clearer. She kept them from the hospital, didn't tell them anything about his cremation, and hasn't followed through on their dad's intentions for them in terms of his estate. He didn't write a will, thinking that his widow would automatically be the executor and would follow the plan he had laid out. So yes, I think some SKs have a very rough go. We see the other side of that coin on this site but I'd like to think there are happy peaceful stepfamilies out there, where everyone understands the fragiility of the relationships, takes eachother's perspective, and does the work to make it happen. 

As a stepkid, I would have been hurt by the ask. As a stepparent, I'd be perfectly fine taking the picture.

It always amazes me how different families can be.  DH's mom was in a nursing home and turning 90. She needed lots of care, but could be brought out for the afternoon. So DH arranged (and paid) for a private room at a nearby restaurant. He wanted pictures so he hired (and paid) professional  photographer to come and take pictures. Photographer took lots of group pictures, but in none of them were the in-laws included. DH was intent on making sure his mom was ok and didn't even notice the exclusion. I (inlaw of six years) don't like having my picture taken and was fine with the exclusion. But, two of the brother-in-laws had been married into the family for over forty years. Apparently, you can never be a family member unless born into it in this family.

The there's the family of DH1. After his death they continued to invite my kids and me to family events. If pictures were taken they always included us. After I remarried, they continued to invite me and invited DH2. When pictures are taken, they not only include me, they include DH2.

I love the Onion! I feel conflicted about this headline though. It's kind of interesting what that reveals about the general impressions people have about blended families. I guess it's the tropes about the evil step mom, and on the surface I think the impression is that as the adult, we have all the power, including the power to exclude. But the reality is that SKs have a lot of power too albeit in a less obvious way. I think the phrase is "control from the bottom". Because DH felt so guilty, SS could always get away with bad behaviors. That had me pinned to the ground, and I was coerced to take a lot and do things I didn't want to do, which dh now recognizes.

SS complains very loudly to people how I've "always excluded him". Even at my and dh's wedding, SS was telling people how awful I was to him (I know because dh's step sister let it slip at the family breakfast the next morning). For the first few years of getting to know SS, I would plan all sorts of family evenings, outings, activities. Most evenings when I tried to get everyone to play board games, SS would scowl and refuse to participate because we were taking him away from video games online with friends. But I kept trying no matter how rejecting SS was, like drive in movies during Covid, nature walks, races which SS actually liked, etc. When SS had major surgery due to a broken leg that was disjointed, I sat with him and DH for a day and a half. His mom never visited once despite being just a few hours away. Of course SS doesn't "remember" any of that. 

I just assume that people will believe some version of his story, even if they might understand that everyone has their own side to the story. I have a neighbor, for example, who knew DH and SS when DH was still married to BM. This neighbor and BM are still friends. Comments she's made to me suggest that she's getting SS's side of the story, and she has kept me at a distance. That's out of my control. I've been trying to focus on identifying and standing by my own truth, and not worrying so much about others.