Don't know where to turn....
Forums:
Future DH is so afraid that BM is going to screw him out of future SS3. He wants to get an attorney, but really can't afford one. It's all he can do now to pay CS and pay his bills. I don't know how to help him other than do as much research as I can. We are in NC and although the "Tender Years" idea has been thrown out legally and there is no legal bias against either parent, he is still afraid that because he is a man, the court will rule against him.
We just don't know what to do or where to turn... Can anyone give us any advice?
Thanks so much.
What is he wanting to
What is he wanting to accomplish? He's paying CS, so I'm assuming they have had some court action. Is there a current parenting plan in place? If so, what type of parenting time does it give your DH? If not, is there a reason?
I live in NC as well and have
I live in NC as well and have done some research. The local free legal service place here (WNC) is Pisgah Legal Services. There may be one where you live as well. Although we have never used them they have a good reputation. Most lawyers will do a free consult and may be worth the time and legwork. Also, most forms, etc can be filed without an attorney. My DH & I have custody of my skids and BM wants to have that changed. We recently tried to explain to her that if she wants to modify custody all she has to do is go to the County Clerk's office, file the paperwork (free) and she will be put on the docket for a judge to hear her argument. No lawyer needed. I will tell you the one thing my high-priced (and good) lawyer did tell me that was INVALUABLE. Document everything! Keep track of every penny spent on the SS by FDH. Keep track of every call made, every visit, every fun thing you did with the child, every Dr appt you may take him to. When SS goes to pre-school be very involved and document EVERYTHING. The future teachers of SS will be excellent character witnesses if needed. If BM tries to block access, write down everything. My husband and I document all the week's activities every Monday night in case BM ever tries to make a court case against us. And FYI - we've been very fortunate in that we have never experienced any bias from the courts in regard to him being the dad and not the mom. It is very rare that a court not award decent visitation to a parent that can prove that he or she is a fit parent. I learned a lot from this website: http://www.rosen.com/ (I don't know if it will hyperlink or not). GOOD LUCK!
He is paying CS, but there is
He is paying CS, but there is no custody agreement filed in court. They have a mutual agreement. Even though they both signed it, it was never filed, they just follow it.
BM has him for 9 overnights, DH for 5.
She sent something that was so vague, she could have screwed him over a hundred different ways. We revised it (said basically the same thing she had written and they have been following, just more specific on times to pick up child and transportation). She refused to sign it because she was told that it "needed to be vague"?
She's lying about a lot of things. First she told us a third party had written it for her, then she got if from the state's website and just filled in the blanks (I've spent the last 2 days going over the state's website and can't find anything resembling this paper), then she said she's talked to her attorney and he said that her paper was fine. But she refuses to give DH the name of her attorney. We've caught her in so many lies, we don't know what's going on in her twisted head. We do know her little BF is telling her what to say/do, but he doesn't know half of what he's talking about.
Is he paying Court Ordered
Is he paying Court Ordered Child Support or just what the two of them decided was fair? If he has ss 36% of the time, he should get a discount off the usual CS bill (I think).
It's court ordered. They had
It's court ordered. They had agreed on something that SHE thought was fair, but she went behind his back and filed for CS. It was really funny because she asked him to watch SS3 while she was "going grocery shopping" but really went to file CS.
I didn't know a court would
I didn't know a court would order cs without a plan.
Thanks so much. That's really
Thanks so much. That's really helpful.
We are in NC also. DH gained
We are in NC also. DH gained custody after BM failed to abide by their Parenting Agreement. In NC, you must attend mediation where you will be given the chance to come up with a Parenting Agreement (attended only by the two parents involved). If you cannot come up with an agreement, then you will go to court. Will be much cheaper if you can put everything in that agreement, and follow it. You can make changes as needed with your Mediator. If there is an agreement you already follow, maybe BM will be willing to make it legal with the mediator.
It took me forever to find
It took me forever to find this form,but this could help if he is willingly paying CS...
http://www.nccourts.org/Forms/Documents/267.pdf
Thanks a lot. She went to the
Thanks a lot. She went to the Child Support Enforcement behind his back in order to have his CS come out of his check. He was already VOLUNTARILY paying her over $600/month. She thought she could get more if she went that way. But when he started his new job, he started making significantly less than he did before. So when he filed a motion to reduce it, she got incredibly mad. So, she won't agree to any parenting agreement we put in front of her, even if it is virtually the same thing she writes (only in "big-kid words"). Everything has to be so dumbed down for her...
I'm glad that only the two parents and their attorneys can go into mediation. Her mother pretty much runs her life.