A little over a week ago SS7 called DH asking if we could pick him up from his grandmother's house. When DH asked to talk to BM to set things up SS said he didn't know where she was, she left him with her live-in boyfriend and they haven't heard from her. We pick up SS and he informs us of his awards ceremony that BM failed to mention. DH attends expecting SS to get awards for the straight A's BM has been bragging about all year only to find out that SS didn't even make A/B honor roll. This prompted us to ask what subjects he struggled in and if BM helped with homework. SS told us BM was always too busy. For the past few months we've been aware that BM was sending SS to spend school nights with her grandmother because, "the school bus doesn't pass in front of her house and she doesn't like to cross the highway with the kids" (another lie). DH told her around Christmas that if she wasn't willing to take full responsibility for SS we would. Now we found out that SS has been spending every night with the great grandmother and sleeps on the couch or a recliner (BM lives 3 blocks away) BM also recently changed SS's Dr. to one that is 2hrs away and tells us SS's health is great, then grandma tells us its not true. I might also mention that BM is almost 30 and has never had a job and does not have her driver's license. Grandmother also informed us that BM has been "taking off a lot lately." Needless to say SS has been with us since all this. We didn't hear from BM for 9 days until today she sent a text asking how her baby was and even then she expressed no desire to talk to him. SS desperately wants BM's attention which is why we haven't stepped in before now. She hasn't been around for most of his life. We found out via facebook that BM ran off to stay with her "friend" which also happens to be her ex-bf. BM also spends the weekend with her other son and his father sometimes. I think it is only a matter of time until the guy she lives with gets fed up with her and kicks her to the curb and then who knows where she'd go or if she'd take SS or leave him behind again. When we do confront her BM is going to try and pretend that everything is great and SS needs to stay with her. I've been thinking about drawing up a petition for custody with an affidavit of consent for BM to sign and let DH tell her that she can either agree to DH having full custody or we can take her to court and seriously embarrass her. We can share with the court all the info I've given here and ask for drug testing and her use BM's arrest record against her (she got into a fist fight with her mom in front of her kids and I'm sure there's more.) I'm tired of hoping she will be a good mom. I guess I'm wondering if anyone else thinks we have grounds for sole custody? We can't depend on BM to share information or be truthful about SS to hope for joint custody. I'm hoping that if we have SS most of the time BM would actually want to spend time with SS during visitation. What do you guys think?