Parenting Plan Questions
So... let me start with SS1, he's 8 years old. He has been in wrestling for 5 years (this will be his 5th). The first 2 years he loved it, excelled in it and we thought, okay this is his thing. His 3rd year, his sister also started wresting. Girls wrestling has blown up over the last 2 years, it's insane. Anyway, we started noticing as the year progressed that he was losing more and more matches (totally fine if he doesn't win - not the message here) & his sister started winning more of her matches as the year went on. His attitude for the sport ever since has been out of this world horrible. For the last 2 years he has told me and his dad that he does not want to wrestle anymore & he's afraid to tell his mom because he knows she will be mad. He wants to play basketball, which runs the same time wrestling does. We have told him that he needed to finish out the season and we could discuss basketball the following season. I believe, that he is intimidated by his sisters success and feels less than because of it. So why wouldn't BM be all for the idea of him trying out basketball for a year instead of wrestling, where he can feel a sense of achievement and ownership & be proud of himself again, you ask? Because "he ain't quitting until he learns how to lose." The atheletic knowledge this woman has is tball in elementary school. My boyfriend and I have both played sports our entire lives and she acts like she is athlete of the year.
THE POINT... BM has ALWAYS thrown the parenting plan in our face saying that we have NO DECISION making abilities when it comes to the kids sporting events and that she is in control of that. Last summer I finally requested that my boyfriend get a copy of his divorce decree and parenting plan because he didn't have those (stupid, I know). & let me tell you, I have read those pages front to back and haven't ONCE found anything that's even worded slightly similar to that. My friends who know lawyers told me that, that is not something that is typically in a divorce decree or parenting plan. I was wondering if any of you have ever heard of such a thing?
Even if it is something that
Even if it is something that is in some parenting plans it is NOT in his parenting plan. BM is just trying to be obnoxious because your SO has allowed her to be. She likely knew he didn't have a copy.
He needs to stand up to BM.
It's probably in somebody's
It's probably in somebody's order, but unless she has sole custody, it's apparently not in HER order. She's just counting on him not knowing. How will this work though - if DH wants basketball and BM wants wrestling? This is not a hill to die on, but it sounds like she's willing to.
Does Dad actually have joint
Does Dad actually have joint legal (aka decision on things like education, medical, religion et) custody of the oldest two children?
Being they were not married when first two kids were born, mother's parental rights were established at birth per Kansas law.... but did did legally establish his parental rights?
Kansas has some goofy laws, but it may be if she fails to consent to basketball for the oldest one or two, it may be a no-go. You might want to check with your BF. They were, per your last posting on and off together during some of those years. The last child, they were married during pregnancy and likely automatic legal father.
Kansas is the most screwed up
Kansas is the most screwed up state ever! However, what I have discovered is that your DH can stop him from wrestling. It is actually pretty simple- your DH send a notarized letter to the league stating he, as a custodial parent, does not release any waiver of liabililty and will sue the organization to the fullest extent if SS is hurt. -- They will kick him out. Too much of a liability.
Now, this won't get him in basketball, but it will stop wrestling.
If it's not in the order, it
If it's not in the order, it's not in the order. There's a good chance he doesn't care about wrestling anymore becuase it was HIS thing. Doesn't matter how good or bad sister it's not his alone anymore. He has to share it.
Finally during her time she can put the kids into whatever sports she wants. If you don't agree you can't stop it, you just don't have to support it. Unless the order says different you can't control her time and how she spends her money but the same goes towards you guys. If she want's to force the kid to do wrestling you don't pay for any of the cost and you don't take him during your time.