Pay for day care?
So BM who has always stayed home and knows every way to use the system (she makes almost what I do to stay home and twiddle her thumbs) decided last year to go to school. She dropped out not long after. She has decided to re-enroll and has requested FH to pay half of the money for the day care - this is not stipulated in the child support or court order. He refused and she is taking us back to court. My question is are we going to be asked to pay for this as it is not for her to work and I am sure, once again, she will drop out when it fancies her. As a side note how do we prove the amount as she has lied in the past about money (she asked us to pay half of SS STB 6's glasses. We asked for a receipt and she said half was $100 - she got really mad. Finally FH went down to store and half was $48.50 - Gee did she want us to pay for it all on top of the $908 FH pays in CS). She has said that day care will be $10 an hour coming to $215 per week, however her 2 younger daughters (not by FH) will be going as well and we think the $10/hr is for all of them. Will the judge order us to pay? They have been divorced 4 years. Thanks for all your help.
First of all
If she expects to be reimbursed for expenses then she needs to produce receipts and provide you with a copy. I would never pay anything without a receipt. As for the daycare, I looked up the regulation regarding child care...your profile says your are in VA and I'm going to assume that the child is as well:
Virginia Child Support Guidelines
In Virginia the amount of child support the non-custodial parent will pay is determined by a formula set forth in the Code of Virginia section 20-108.2. Under that formula the total monthly child support obligation is computed by determining the gross income of the individual parents, combining that income to get the combined gross income and referring to a chart found in the Code of Virginia section 10-108.2. The basic amount of child support is found at the intersection of the combined gross income and the number of children in need of support. The total amount of child support includes any additional costs for child-care incurred on behalf of the child due to employment of the custodial parent, costs for health and dental care coverage when actually being paid by a parent, to the extent such costs are paid for the benefit of the child, and extraordinary medical and dental expenses for treatment of the child. Extraordinary medical and dental expenses are uninsured expenses in excess of $100.00 for a single illness or condition and include, but are not limited to, eyeglasses, prescription medication, prostheses, and mental health services whether provided by a social worker, psychologist, psychiatrist, or counselor.
So according to this reg it could be included if the custodial parent was employed. I don't know if that would apply to her going to school, but I would definitely bring up the fact that she has dropped out before. After all, you wouldn't want to have your CS hiked to cover daycare and then she drops out. I hope this helps.
Thanks Sasha. We live in VA
Thanks Sasha. We live in VA but the CO for CS is out of MD, but I am sure it is relatively the same thing. I agree that if she has daycare expenses to work that we are required to have a CS re-assessment, but it seems unfair (not that anything regarding children in the court is fair) that she can receive more money because she decides to go to school 4 years after the divorce. I could see it differently if she was in school at the time of separation.
Everything I looked at regarding day care
Everything I looked at regarding day care expenses in MD also phrase it as "work related" day care expenses. However, your best bet is to consult with a family law attorney in MD to see what your chances would be of paying or not paying for day care. Keep in mind that going to school is totally voluntary, and while that is important in the long run, it does not negate her responsibility to also financially provide for her children.
But don't take my word for it; I'm not a lawyer. The best thing you can do is educate yourself on child support issues. There's a lot of information available on the internet, so take advantage of it.
If you know the daycare
If you know the daycare place she plans on sending the child to then try calling as a "new" client to find out prices and find out if they offer a set price if there is more than 1 child attending daycare. Also you can research to find out if there are any programs to assist you in situations like this. What I mean by that is my husband had both kids in daycare and he went through a program called hoosier works which I believe covered most of the cost and he just had like a 20 dollar copay or something. You should research this info before your court date. If there is an assistance programs offered in her area then there should be no reason why your husband should have to pay more money period. Also you should request receipts for everything concerning the child especially if you have to help pay for it.
Daycare assistance
There are programs for this for people who are in school. I would research it where you live and then when you go to court, provide the information that she could recieve free or reduced daycare while she is a student. Sometimes the universities provide free daycare as a service to their students, but also as a learning experience for those in early childhood development majors.
Research reasearch research is your best bet. Go to court with your arms loaded with information. Also, how old is the child? At 3 or 4 they can be enrolled in Head Start, which is an all day free pre-K program funded by the federal gov't for low income families.
An attorney might be helpful in this situation as well. Good luck!
Pay direct.
If the court orders you to pay for day care ask that it be tied directly to full time studies. First have "full time studies" defined. Enrollment in a community college or accredited school such as beauty or welding classes for instance. Also that the payments be made directly to the day-care center.
Can you communicate with her informally? Tell her you're happy to pay for her inproved education because as soon as she gets employemnt you'll be asking for reduced support payments based on her newly acquired income.
OR BETTER YET: Take a chance on option two but keep quiet about it. I.e. just pay for daycare to support her schooling and when she goes to work ask for a realignment of support.
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There's an exception to everything I say.
If you have an attorney have
If you have an attorney have him/her ask moms attorney for the times the kids went to day care and for the reciept of the glasses.
If she wants your DH to pay for day care then request that she pay for day care when the kids are in his care as well.