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Question about SM's going to court with SO/DH

CalgonTakeMeAway's picture

Submitted by CalgonTakeMeAway on Tue, 08/30/2011 - 6:37pm

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Family Court

I'm just curious...how many of you SM's go to court with your SO/DH, for whatever reason. I never go with my DH, though I think I would like to. I feel so disconnected from this whole mess even though I live in the middle of it and get to feel all the stress. Same with the appointments with the psychologist. I finally invited myself to an appt. with the Parenting Time Coordinator. I guess I've felt it would be inappropriate. Right now I'm feeling sort of like an accessory...nice to look at and have but not needed. I know I'm being silly, but feelings aren't always rational! What are your thoughts?

simifan's picture

Submitted by simifan on Tue, 08/30/2011 - 8:26pm

Both times we were in court, SO's were banned but the request was by our attorney. BM's hubby acted like such an ass the first time, the attorney couldn't resist requesting it again when we went to court a few years later. Sure enough.... }:)
Certainly didn't help BM's case.

Expect not to go into court - expect to be called to testify. Never refer to SC as "our children" etc. This can cause major trouble.

Doubletakex3's picture

Submitted by Doubletakex3 on Tue, 08/30/2011 - 8:42pm

I go...it affects me so I have every right to be there. And my SF wants me by his side for support.

CalgonTakeMeAway's picture

Submitted by CalgonTakeMeAway on Tue, 08/30/2011 - 9:21pm

Thanks for the replies ladies. I think I'm just cranky today...probably cuz DH had to go to court (of course BM is getting more money) :O yesterday and psychologist today with SS and he is so stressed. Today was really hard for him because we thought we were making some headway with SS and the PAS, but it appears we aren't so much. But I'll do what I always do with the skids...smile like I don't have a care in the world!

Soon-to-be-Step-Mommy's picture

Submitted by Soon-to-be-Step... on Wed, 08/31/2011 - 8:17am

Honestly I wish I didn't HAVE to go. But I am going to have to be a witness when my DH goes to court in November. Makes me extremely anxious because I have no idea what I will be asked. Also since BM is representing herself, I think that means she could possibly be questioning me too?? UGH!

CalgonTakeMeAway's picture

Submitted by CalgonTakeMeAway on Wed, 08/31/2011 - 9:36am

Our BM is currently representing herself as well. DH was NOT happy to have to turn over check stubs to her. I'm sure the kids will see them and find out exactly how much daddy makes, which looks like a lot on paper. They just have no idea about our expenses.

Good luck in court. I hope BM doesn't get to question you. If she does, don't let her see you sweat!!

Redsonya's picture

Submitted by Redsonya on Thu, 09/08/2011 - 12:11pm

I always go and I help out DH with his paperwork, talking to our lawyer, and serving BM (with my friends usually). I figure I am married to him and this effects me so I am darn well going to be involved. I don't HAVE to be there, but I want to. DH is a super nice guy and BM is a money grubbing, lazy, pushy bitch. The dynamic they have set up from their marriage is that BM lays into DH and guilt trips him about the kids and DH gives in (or at least he used to) to avoid fighting. I have let him know in no uncertain terms that anything he agrees to affects me and that he shouldn't be making any agreements or promises to BM or the SKids without discussing it with me. This includes visitation, paying for things outside of child support, transportation arrangements, etc. I am done pretending it is solely between the two of them and then having my life inconvenienced or money funneled to BM so she can continue to sit on her ass.