Teen choosing which parent to live with
I'm sure this has been covered before, and I know state laws vary, judges vary, and an attorney should be consulted...but just wanted to quickly find out what others here have experienced...
What has been your experience with teens (either your own bio or your skid) choosing which parent they want to live with? Have you seen the judge go against the wishes of the teen? If so, in your opinion, were both parents' homes safe and healthy, or was one a risk to the child?
My SO is taking his head-in-the-sand approach to new and different levels in regard to his 15 year old son, who is living with us right now. Even though it is for very good reasons, including but not limited to him seeing BM out of her mind on drugs, BM selling SS's belongings behind his back, BM's boyfriend being drunk and violent, and BM going to jail for a week (it was during this stint he came to live with us), it is against the original court order of placement with BM and weekend visitation with SO. He seems to think there could be no problems without a new custody agreement because SS is 15 and can just up and pick where he wants to live.
(I won't even get into the part about SO continuing to pay CS to BM even though SS has been living with us for 2 months. That's a blog entry for another day.)
Oh, another question. The original court order was from a court date when SO and BM first separated. It was a mediation with no attorneys. Has anyone modified custody without an attorney?
Thanks for your input.
When a family member of mine
When a family member of mine was 14 (I was 16) he was allowed to choose which parent to live with. I live in Wyoming. Not sure if that law is still the same since its been almost ten years.
My DH attempted to take BM to
My DH attempted to take BM to court on his own to chance CS and Custody. He was told by the judge to come back with an attorney. The best way for attorney fees to be less money is to do all the paperwork by yourself and then just have the attorney to appear. That's what we did at first. Also, your DH should file for CS and prove to the courts the SS is living with you by getting his school records. You may be able to get retroactive payment from BM and it will also stop DH from paying any child support. When you go to court, if you file both papers the same day, they will put those cases together on the docket. Since it's court ordered right now that SS live with you and DH, it shouldn't be a problem to have the CS stopped. My DH had to wait until the custody case was settled before going for the CS payments from BM, but he had a court date before the custody for CS and the judge ordered that he didn't have to pay anymore, so that was good.
When he finally went back with an attorney for custody, SD had written a letter stating she wanted to live with DH but judge didn't care, judge ordered SD to be seen by a law guardian, even though she was 15, almpst 16 at the time.
I live in NY, so I'm sure the laws are different. Good Luck. I would defiantly tell DH to go to court since he's only protecting his and his son's rights.
See that's the thing...it's
See that's the thing...it's NOT court ordered that SS live with us right now. The kids just came to stay with us when BM went to jail. SO phoned social services to let SOMEONE know the kids were with him. Shortly after BM got out, social services called SO and told him the skids needed to go back. BM called social services and said she didn't want them yet.
We won't be able to have school records as proof of residence because he still goes to the same school. Hell, he gets off at the same bus stop he used to even.
Thanks for the input...
I an a 14 year old who now
I an a 14 year old who now has to choose which parent to live with. My parents divorced when I was 4. I have spent every other week with each parent and they have lived in the same town for 10 years now. I have lived in Iowas for 14 years, and now my Dad and his wife are moving to Minnesota. I have to choose which parent to live with and I can't decide. I have to decide within the next month. Can anyone help make it easier????
You never NEED an attorney in
You never NEED an attorney in court but its not just a matter of walking in and filling out a form. If he is good at research and has weekday time to do so he can represent himself.
He's continuing to pay her child support to keep her quiet plus he could be found in criminal contempt AND have to pay back support if she complains and she does not have to get an attorney. A visit to the local District Attorney will do just nicely.
As you know a judge will probably go along with the kid anyway and from what you describe no judge is going to send a kid to live with a jail bird addict. But hubby should do the paperwork right and get a custody order AND reqeust child support even tho he'll never get it.
The savings in cs will make up for the attorney fees.