UK DAD seeking custody... any advice please?
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The short story is the skids are being abused/neglected by their mother. Children's services are predictably rubbish.
We want to go for a change of residency in the courts but have not found very many positive cases of this in the
We cant afford legal fees so will need to represent ourselves. There is currently no contact order either.
Can anybody offer any advice on how to proceed or have experience on this?
Thanks 
SSorry I meant cases in the
SSorry I meant cases in the UK.
All I can say is good luck.
All I can say is good luck. If child services are involved then thats a plus but the fact that they havent sought to remove the children already suggests that their findings havent been that significant. Generally yes childrens services try other things before removing the child from the parent but if the other parent is available they are quicker to swop them over.
First step is you need a proper court order in place, have you been to your local CAB office? You will probably need to go to Mediation before court but I wish you all the best
Thanks. CAB, yep. They said
Thanks. CAB, yep. They said go to court. Mediation was tried and the BM refused to return after 3 sessions. She now refuses to try again, stating that OH lies so it wont work. She has chosen to write via a lawyer now. We don't have a lawyer so reply ourselves. But the kids say they don't want to live with her any more. Things are pretty messy.
You've not found many cases
You've not found many cases to copy. Sorry I'm from the States here so I may be off on terminology etc. Have you tried other jurisdictions? Here I might to go Los Angeles County Courthouse if my local (Orange) county didn't have what I want.
I outright asked a clerk if they knew of any files where a man represented themselves trying to switch custody and he pulled several of them for me.
You haven't found many but you have found some. Well the format is set for you, now you have to fill in the blanks. The narrative portion of your plea can be in your own words. You can subpoena in people from CAB, etc, but you'll get a bill for their time. A big one. You can subpoena their whole file and having looked at it ahead of time use whatever is in your favor.
My impression is courts will give some leeway to people who represent themselves. Not a lot but don't worry about saying exactly the precise words a attorney might use. Just let your plea in writing do the talking, don't repeat what's already in it. If her attorney objects to how you've expressed yourself simply apologize and explain you don't have the benefit of the years of training and experience the attorney has. Build her attorney up as not only capable but handsome and stately presence. (How can you be expected to complete with that)? Ask for the courts indulgence - it would have to be a real bastard to turn you down.
Go for it. After all you've got no choice do you?
You are right. We don't have
You are right. We don't have a choice. The CAB is a volunteer organisation which you can go to to ask advice on what your rights are and how to proceed, but they can't give you personal legal advice or represent you in anyway. They are impartial.
Also we have the lore of the land here so it kind of depends on the judge you get. Children's services (social workers) are content that the reports we've given have been the result of us trying to get back at her somehow. Even though the children's uncle (mothers brother) has also spoken to them, so have the children's school. They won't act and closed the case.
We're going to have a battle and have been told it could take up to 3 years just to be told they'll give us a court order with fixed visitation rather than a change of residencey. The children are 10 and 8 so too young to be formally heard, but will have their feelings taken into account.
But we've also got the issue of BM using parental alienation against us. This is not widely recognised in uk courts.
We're at a loss right now. The children are being beaten, starved, witnessing their mother being drunk, aggressive towards their neighbours, their father, their relitives... this has gone on for nearly 4 years. The children's behaviour is appalling especially when it's time to go back to her. It's heart breaking.
You are right. We don't have
You are right. We don't have a choice. The CAB is a volunteer organisation which you can go to to ask advice on what your rights are and how to proceed, but they can't give you personal legal advice or represent you in anyway. They are impartial.
Also we have the lore of the land here so it kind of depends on the judge you get. Children's services (social workers) are content that the reports we've given have been the result of us trying to get back at her somehow. Even though the children's uncle (mothers brother) has also spoken to them, so have the children's school. They won't act and closed the case.
We're going to have a battle and have been told it could take up to 3 years just to be told they'll give us a court order with fixed visitation rather than a change of residencey. The children are 10 and 8 so too young to be formally heard, but will have their feelings taken into account.
But we've also got the issue of BM using parental alienation against us. This is not widely recognised in uk courts.
We're at a loss right now. The children are being beaten, starved, witnessing their mother being drunk, aggressive towards their neighbours, their father, their relitives... this has gone on for nearly 4 years. The children's behaviour is appalling especially when it's time to go back to her. It's heart breaking.
Hi Gizmo, new here and just
Hi Gizmo, new here and just read your post. I'm supporting my partner in a UK court case. Did you know you can call Coram Children's Legal Centre for free advice?
http://www.childrenslegalcentre.com/
Also, there is Families Need Fathers, they have a helpline but also run branch meetings where you can meet other parents and receive advice on acting for yourself in court.
My partner can't afford legal representation so we have and are using a McKenzie Friend. They vary in quality but if you can get a recommended one, they're a great and affordable alternative. Ours has been amazing and is qualified as a lawyer and barrister. I could probably help find you one in your area if you needed.
As for Parental Aliention, google Karen Woodall at the Centre for Seperated Families. She's amazing. I'm not sure when it comes into force but there is a new ruling coming in soon that children over 10 will be heard in the Family Courts. Could be progress.....
Brilliant info thank you so
Brilliant info thank you so much
No worries, hope it helps
No worries, hope it helps somewhat. There's a great website called Dad.info which has a forum for Dad's self repping. The Legal Eagle section on there has been a god send. You or your partner can post....