Smurfy1smile here. I cannot post using my name. BF may have to try for custody of his BS 5 months since so far he is a little delayed. He did not roll over until he was 5 months old on the nose. His little head still tilts/leans to the same side most of the time like its too heavy for him. BF and I think he spends most of this time sitting in his car seat, no or little floor or tummy time. I guess only time will tell for now. We will have to see how he does with crawling, walking, eating solids, etc.
What kind of neglect are you talking about? Have you checked the laws in your state?
My skids BM voluntarily gave kids to DH. He was just happy he had them. After a couple of yrs, I told DH, you better legalize it because BM can come and take them anytime she wanted to. He took her to court for custody and got it. BM did not fight it of course. She has tried to cry on my shoulder about feeling guilty. But she made her bed. I was present at the hearing and I was troubled by the fact that the judge not once asked why a BM would give up her children, but 95% of the time court give custody to the moms, no questions asked. Everyone knows that that assumption is a mistake sometimes. Maybe because dads don't fight about it. I know I would go through hell and back for my biokids. My skids BM still continues to neglect them. There is always a social event more important than them. Her loss!!!!!
I wish she would...our problem is that BM thinks she's a "fantastic" mother when SD is failing school, on wrong meds (so much so the school nurse filled out an eval on her0, BM STILL hasn't got SD into psychiatrist like school wants, etc. BM is in denial when SD calls DH begging to live with him saying she doesn't want to be "left" there with BM. when BM asked "what about me" SD said she would visit sometimes!
When is it neglect or is all that not? oh, and BM is bipolar & doesn't take meds. She thinks she is "fantastic" remember!?
We have issues with our kids. We get them for 3 weeks in the summer time (and that's it because of the ages) and SD13, we've gathered, is the only one that gets attention in their house. They like 1300 miles from us and their mother seems to only pay attention to her.
SD9 and SD4 are pushed to the side all the time. We noticed that SD9 is hardly able to do things for herself. Brush her hair, clean up properly after using the bathroom, just simple things that a 9 year old should be able to do. Also, she can't say words correctly, and no one seems to be working with her. I've tried but one phone call a week for 20 minutes is only going to help so much. (That's all BM lets them talk to us even though she is supposed to encourage them to call us.)
SD13 came to our house with a HUGE luggage bag full to the brim with clothes. She had brand name clothes, new clothes, very trendy.
SD9 came with a bag 1/2 the size and hardly packed. She had three shirts that were donated to them, blood drive, etc. And this SD had a bit of an eating disorder (fried, finger foods only basically) and she's over weight by about 40 lbs or so. She had maternity shorts. I almost fell over when i pulled those out of the dryer...MATERNITY SHORTS! That just goes to show how much BM has given up on her middle child. my DH talked to the BM and she even admitted that there is nothing you can do about the food situation...well guess what? There is. We got her to eat all kinds of new foods in a week and a half. We just didn't surprise her with the foods. I told her 1-3 days in advance of what she'd be eating and that gave her time to prepare for the new foods. I'm not talking strange new foods, I'm talking hot dogs and cheeseburgers, WHICH she was making up songs praising the cheeseburgers!
SD4's clothes were packed by their mother and she had the overnight small medicine type bag and it wasn't even half full of clothes. When I was unpacking their bags into the dresser, I noticed clothes that were a bit small. When I was dressing her it was really apparent that the clothes didn't fit.
With the food situation, the unable to do things for themselves, it makes me really want to get custody of the younger two children. The oldest is too "buddy buddy" with her mom. Meaning that SD13 can manipulate her mother into just about anything by talking bad about me and my DH long enough. I'd rather keep her with her mother so she can keep messing her up and we can take the other two who are obviously in the way. They seem to be happier at our house sometimes.
SD9 is certainly talking to me more about private things so that's good, so who knows what will happen. my DH wants all three of them but I don't think we'd get them. he says a judge won't separate the girls but I really think it's best to go ahead and do that.
gee I wonder if that would work for us??
Smurfy1smile here. I cannot post using my name. BF may have to try for custody of his BS 5 months since so far he is a little delayed. He did not roll over until he was 5 months old on the nose. His little head still tilts/leans to the same side most of the time like its too heavy for him. BF and I think he spends most of this time sitting in his car seat, no or little floor or tummy time. I guess only time will tell for now. We will have to see how he does with crawling, walking, eating solids, etc.
What kind of neglect are you talking about? Have you checked the laws in your state?
Absolutely
My skids BM voluntarily gave kids to DH. He was just happy he had them. After a couple of yrs, I told DH, you better legalize it because BM can come and take them anytime she wanted to. He took her to court for custody and got it. BM did not fight it of course. She has tried to cry on my shoulder about feeling guilty. But she made her bed. I was present at the hearing and I was troubled by the fact that the judge not once asked why a BM would give up her children, but 95% of the time court give custody to the moms, no questions asked. Everyone knows that that assumption is a mistake sometimes. Maybe because dads don't fight about it. I know I would go through hell and back for my biokids. My skids BM still continues to neglect them. There is always a social event more important than them. Her loss!!!!!
My kids biggest cheerleader
thats interesting
here, my fiancee tried to give up custody, BM agreed and the judge still said no
BM hasn't left though
I wish she would...our problem is that BM thinks she's a "fantastic" mother when SD is failing school, on wrong meds (so much so the school nurse filled out an eval on her0, BM STILL hasn't got SD into psychiatrist like school wants, etc. BM is in denial when SD calls DH begging to live with him saying she doesn't want to be "left" there with BM. when BM asked "what about me" SD said she would visit sometimes!
When is it neglect or is all that not? oh, and BM is bipolar & doesn't take meds. She thinks she is "fantastic" remember!?
in that same boat with you -
in that same boat with you - bm is bipolar - just met her 5th soul mate since september but where she lives, there is no such thing as neglect.
I wish we could! But he won't fight.
We have issues with our kids. We get them for 3 weeks in the summer time (and that's it because of the ages) and SD13, we've gathered, is the only one that gets attention in their house. They like 1300 miles from us and their mother seems to only pay attention to her.
SD9 and SD4 are pushed to the side all the time. We noticed that SD9 is hardly able to do things for herself. Brush her hair, clean up properly after using the bathroom, just simple things that a 9 year old should be able to do. Also, she can't say words correctly, and no one seems to be working with her. I've tried but one phone call a week for 20 minutes is only going to help so much. (That's all BM lets them talk to us even though she is supposed to encourage them to call us.)
SD13 came to our house with a HUGE luggage bag full to the brim with clothes. She had brand name clothes, new clothes, very trendy.
SD9 came with a bag 1/2 the size and hardly packed. She had three shirts that were donated to them, blood drive, etc. And this SD had a bit of an eating disorder (fried, finger foods only basically) and she's over weight by about 40 lbs or so. She had maternity shorts. I almost fell over when i pulled those out of the dryer...MATERNITY SHORTS! That just goes to show how much BM has given up on her middle child. my DH talked to the BM and she even admitted that there is nothing you can do about the food situation...well guess what? There is. We got her to eat all kinds of new foods in a week and a half. We just didn't surprise her with the foods. I told her 1-3 days in advance of what she'd be eating and that gave her time to prepare for the new foods. I'm not talking strange new foods, I'm talking hot dogs and cheeseburgers, WHICH she was making up songs praising the cheeseburgers!
SD4's clothes were packed by their mother and she had the overnight small medicine type bag and it wasn't even half full of clothes. When I was unpacking their bags into the dresser, I noticed clothes that were a bit small. When I was dressing her it was really apparent that the clothes didn't fit.
With the food situation, the unable to do things for themselves, it makes me really want to get custody of the younger two children. The oldest is too "buddy buddy" with her mom. Meaning that SD13 can manipulate her mother into just about anything by talking bad about me and my DH long enough. I'd rather keep her with her mother so she can keep messing her up and we can take the other two who are obviously in the way. They seem to be happier at our house sometimes.
SD9 is certainly talking to me more about private things so that's good, so who knows what will happen. my DH wants all three of them but I don't think we'd get them. he says a judge won't separate the girls but I really think it's best to go ahead and do that.
AAHHH!! Why!!?? Why is she a pain!