What's the Next Step?
So I have been saying for about a year now that SD isn't ADHD but in fact has anxiety and possible a bit of depression. DH had a whole big meeting at SD old school before we moved and they all agreed that SD had anxiety, then when it was brought up again BM insisted that SD did not have anxiety.
So we moved far away, BM moves across town therefore SD changes schools...shortly there after BM has ADHD medication INCREASED!! Mind you that DH and I have a child that is ADHD and SD does not fit the same profile. BM has taken SD to roughly 3 different (some forms of) psychiatrists in her short 7 years of life. SD is failing out of school when BM was to have been paying for a tutor (half of tutor cost was put into CS in Sept.) and has still not done so.
Now DH talked to SD teacher today and teacher comfirmed what we already knew, that BM lied when she said that the teacher said that a tutor wouldn't help. Teacher also informed DH that she had to have the school nurse come in and evaluate SD and that in the nurses professional opinion SD was on way to high of meds and needed to be seen by her physician.
So BM called right after to tell DH (probably knowing he would find out) and says that she is going to take her to a psychiatrist and that she thinks that SD has anxiety!! YOU THINK!!??!!
Oh, yeah...and remember that SD is failing with a refusal of a tutor from BM (that we are paying for!) and SD will need to be held back and the teacher and BM say that SD is handling all this okay...oh, but she has anxiety! ?
Me: I think that holding SD back will be far more tramatic that that little girl than anyone realizes. I know her...I mean I really see her. I knew just from talking to her that her meds were too high...they aren't supposed to alter a personality, just help focus but her BM that is "a fantastic mom" and "devotes 80% of her time on SD" couldn't see that and she is there everyday????
What now? I have disengaged but this is so far out there I could use any help on this or I will just burst. Doesn't BM know that it doesn't matter if she made a mistake but that the ONLY thing that matters is the wellfare of SD? I am so worried that this sweet innocent little girl is getting so mind F*&^ed that she won't be able to know up from down by the time she is 12.
Thanks guys..I know I tend to really get at it when I'm upset and this does it! 
Only the Second Grade
She is in the second grade. I know this doesn't sound like it would be detrimental to her but she has just had so much thrown at her. In the past three years she has had both parents get married. Had two sibblings adopted by dad, had to new baby sibblings (one on each side), had her grandparents that she used to live with move away, changed school three times, had her dad etc. move away and now another sibbling coming at the end of the summer (BM).
That is a lot for anyone especially a 7yr old. I am actually happy now that she is having to see a psychiatrist. At least this was a PROFESSIONAL will be weighing in and the meds will be okay.
It just makes me so angry that I know in my heart that I have know all this was wrong with her for a long time now and even brought it to BM's attention but just because SHE didn't want to deal with it or see it for whatever her reason may have been, that SD has not had this intervention until now. You know what...I even saved a voice mail from SD from back in like OCT. saying to DH that HE was NOT to call a psychiatrist, that She would handle that. (DIDN"T) SO why is it fair that these women get to have the primary custody of the child when they aren't REALLY looking out for the best interest of the children because they can't get past whatever pent up anger and resentment that they feel for the DH and SM for moving on?