40 year old drama queen
I'm an adult stepchild of sort. I'm 18 and my Grandmother adopted me when my mother overdosed when I was 15. She raised me I've lived with her all my life. This may not be the usual type of question on this form but you guys seem like your use to to strange dynamic and F*cked up behavior.
I have a much older cousin that's getting married in a month. I'm a bridesmaid and I'm happy to help but she's been getting on my nerves lately. I want to back out of her wedding and cut her out of my life. She's a 40 year old drama queen that's shown her true color. (Second marriage and she already has a child)
First of all, I'm doing her make up and the entire bridal party's make with own own airbrush machine for free and buying The make up. It'll cost me around $100 bucks for airs brush foundation in all these shades alone. I'm also doing her whole face for the wedding. She recently said "Because your only doing the make up, you can help decorate the venue in the morning!" Not a request but a rude demand.
Second of all she's 40 and I'm 18. $100 is a lot of money for me and I'll be spending a lot of time doing the make up. She's making out like I'm rude not to get her a gift as well.
Third, We've both recently lost our respective mothers. I was 15 when my mom pasted and she was 37 when her did. She's making a big deal out of how my grandma is going to be her "surrogate" mother at the weeding( no big deal) but at my graduation dinner last week she made it entirely about her and her wedding and how much she misses her mom. It was supposed to be my special night and she ruined it. She dominated the conversation and anytime some ask me about future plans or my gpa or school stuff she looked at me like it was my fault and looked annoyed. She also cried for about 45 minutes over her mom for attention. I missed my mom as well after that, it was like a big reminder my mom wasn't there! And my grandma comforted her! I went to the bathroom and cried alone. It was my special night and she manage to make it all about herself and ruin it.
Worst of all, she bad mouths me to my grandma during the dinner in front of me! She does this all the time. She'll praise me to my face then tell my how she shouldn't buy me car for nursing school, I can ride the bus(nursing clinic start at specific times, this means I could be sitting at a hospital for hours at a time) . She tells her I get too much, I'm spoiled and constantly looks for flaws by stalking me in social media. Example I have a bucket list on Pinterest and having twins is on my bucklist. She implied my grandma should watch me because I might be trying to get pregnant. (I'm not even in a relationship)
She seems to be jealous of my grandma and I'd relationship. She doesn't seem to understand my grandmother is the only person in my life, I have no father. She actually asked my grandmother why she bought me school clothes my senior and junior year. How else would I have got them? I'm a full time student high school student, her mother did the same for her in highschool. This isn't something new or recent it just seems to have gotten worse because of the wedding .Do you guys find anything strange about this? Am I overreacting or do you find this weird as well? Should I back out of the wedding?
You sound like a mature young
You sound like a mature young lady with your head screwed on properly.
Sorry about your Moms passing.
Your cousin is an old bitch! She sounds like she us jealous of you and she is using you wrt the wedding. You owe her nothing and because she is so mean backing out is the right thing to do. Screw that old bitch and her broomstick!
Darling, this cousin is a
Darling, this cousin is a liability and an idiot. She doesn't know how much time and effort goes into doing make up.
You have to go get supplies, that costs time and gas. If you're doing makeup on the over 40's you may have to take extra time to get it right. Figure out how long it will take to do everyone's face, now add 30% more time to each. Write down your costs, include travel, how much time it will take to do each make up. Now call the most expensive salon in your area and get their price for doing wedding make up. They charge extra for bridal stuff to cover dealing with frantic bitches.
Write all this up and show it to your grandma. This will tell her what the value of the gift you were willing to give. Maybe she can talk to your bitchy cousin about realistic expectations.
Figuring time for each will also give yourself a timeline to organize the wedding party and keep your job running smoothly. 'Cause you know you're going to do it.
If you really want out, again talk to grandma about it and cuz's behavior. She probably already sees the problem. Maybe she can help you bow out gracefully.
She sees her behavior ,
She sees her behavior , luckily. She's sick of her as well. Her solution is to absolute minimal make up on everyone including the bride, my grandma has even offered to pay for the make up but I won't do that to her. That's why my cousin brings up her mom(constantly) because she know that's my Grandma soft spot and probably the only reason she's dealing with her. My cousin is very manipulative, I'm glad I'm not crazy, other people see it too.
This woman is a POS. She's
This woman is a POS. She's obviously extremely jealous of you. She seems like she's a narcissist, as are most of those we have issues with on this board. Everything is about her and if it isn't, she'll make it about her...look at what she did at your graduation party. I wouldn't back of the wedding. It'll just give her fuel. After the wedding, steer as far clear of her as you can. This woman/child wants to take you down. Don't let her. I'm sorry after all you've already been through that you have to deal with this shit too.
OP - Your cousin is a piece
OP - Your cousin is a piece of work. What does your Grandma say about her? Sorry you are going through all this.
Sadly, once a drama queen always a drama queen as they need to have the limelight and attention on them. If someone else does something that should be recognized, they quickly have a fit to bring all the attention back on them
Wish I could offer you more advice, but I am still dealing with my DH's daughter, a Drama Queen in the first degree.
I'd send ya the hundred bucks
I'd send ya the hundred bucks if I could but I'm afraid you're on your own and that's probably the least of your problem with this woman.
I agree with the others as to her worthlessness in your life but you've made a commitment to her that you've got to see through. Do not feel pressured to buy a gift, you've given more than your share and forget about decorating unless you've committed to that also.
You've heard the term "Bridezilla". Google it because that's what you've got here.
You're entirely justified in cutting this woman out of your life if you can do so. I say "if" because she's cousin and will likely be around for another 30 or more years attending family gatherings and such. Once you're self-supporting you'll find yourself too busy to be around her much. Plus any future gatherings such as your wedding you can make sure she's not invited. One of the unfortunate facts of life is you don't get to pick your relatives and sometimes you have to put up with idiots to remain in a family group or clan.
Your cousin is an idiot and a
Your cousin is an idiot and a selfish, immature jerk. I feel so bad for you; you're only 18, right? You sound so much more mature than your 40 year old cousin. I wish I could be a surrogate mother to you and give you the praise and validation that you deserve. At least you have a loving grandmother. If you don't want to participate in your selfish cousins wedding, you shouldn't have to. She can pay someone else to do her damn make-up. She doesn't deserve the gift that you are giving her by doing her make up I bet she is going to be horrible from now until the day of the wedding. If she's acting like this now, you can bet that she is going to escalate up to the minute she walks down the aisle. It will probably be nauseating to watch her as the reception takes place. Screw her, she's an ass. You are young and you don't deserve this type of behavior. Cut her out of your life if that is what you want. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself. I am in my 40's and I remember being 18; I was easily taken advantage of and I don't want that to happen to you. If you were my daughter I would tell your cousin off for mistreating you. I am so sorry she ruined your graduation. You handled yourself with maturity and class.
I'm with Orange - you made a
I'm with Orange - you made a commitment, you've got to see it through and do the makeup. That being said, you do NOT have to make any other commitments! No extra gift, no "decorating the venue", etc. Sounds like your grandmother is in your corner, which is great. All you have to do now is get through the wedding with as much grace and maturity as you have, then limit your contact with your toxic cousin as much as possible.
I'm so sorry about your mom! I think she'd be proud of you and the young woman you're becoming. I would be, if my daughter wrote this.