I would like to joyfully report that after 7 mo. SD is moving out of our house and in w/ her sister and sister's bf to our rental house. I pray I'm not back here in a week, crying that they'll never the pay the rent and DH won't force them to be responsible!

I am thrilled, but since things have improved since our April fight, I have a few questions:

I'd love to have the atmosphere that my parents had at their house for as long as I can remember. Every Sunday, Dad cooked out on the grill and Mom made side dishes and pretty much the whole family got together - my brother and I, our cousin who was raised by my parents, my g-father (passed away 2 sad years ago), and anyone else important to us. Sometimes it was neighbors who joined us when their houses weren't happy - my parents house was the sanctuary for two families who divorced, had moms w/ problems, etc. Other times, it was those any of us dated. Anyway, I'd love to have that same gathering at our house.

I'm trying to walk a fine line w/ my adult skids since the two SDs will be living very close to us w/ the one's bf. I don't want the type of arrangement where they barge in at all hours, raid our frig, use our work-out room as their private gym, use our pool all day whenever they feel like it, but I would like to have an established "Sunday" get together or something. I really want to be close w/o being taken advantage of.

I really don't want to open a can of worms, but I don't know exactly how to say that I'd love Sundays (or another time convenient to all) to be a day when they're all welcomed to plop in on us, swim, eat, etc. w/o sounding like they can't have keys to the house. They can keep the keys, it doesn't matter, but I would like the same courtesy given to me that I will give to them. I won't be going over to their house (we own it, they will be renters) unannounced, and while I don't think they shouldn't ever feel free to stop by, I worry that they'll become people like my brother (goes to my parents' kitchen to do his grocery shopping!)

Any suggestions about setting boundaries, but still having a relaxed atmosphere? I want them to be close to my young sons, but since my boys are young, they have schedules to remain on, esp. once school begins.
These girls have caused me a ton of grief in my 10 years of marriage to their father, but I'm trying to look to a brighter future, etc. Their brother has taken the path of being a deadbeat son, a loser, worrying us about his whereabouts, his well-being, quitting school, refusing to work, shafting us on lots of money - me esp, since I was stupid enough to cosign a student loan for him a few years ago. The girls, however, have seemed a little better, though all have a huge sense of entitlement. I'm hopeful that they'll finally be independent...

Dana