Advice on setting boundaries
I have been reading past forum posts. I am new here and now new to adult step parenting. My SS graduated yesterday. My husband and I have been married ten years. SS has been in and out of trouble in his teen years. When he was a young child he had a lot of anger issues that came out towards my relationship with his father and me in general. Things have improved very recently. I think that his brother, who I gave birth a couple years ago is softening his heart towards me. I think he is getting old enough to see that not everything his mother said was always true. Although, I was not invited to his graduation. Which was hurtful. (Was allowed to help pay for the party though). I am curious about how this works now that we have transitioned into adulthood? He has chosen not to go to college and to get a job while he waits for his girlfriend to graduate. He will live with his mother. What should I expect as far as his biomom in our lives still? What are reasonable expectations for financial help in the case of adult stepkids? Are there ways that we should be proactive in setting up guidlines now that he is a 19 year old graduate?
Thanks!!
this is when the bs needs
this is when the bs needs to stop. I wish I had step talk years ago and knew enough to shut the skids down when. they started their games. take charge of your lives now and don't engage in petty mean games.
At 19 SS needs to get over
At 19 SS needs to get over the fact that daddy is remarried and moved on. He is no longer a child but a man.
The failure to invite you the graduation is a slap in the face.
Set boundaries early now that he is no longer in school. He needs a goal of finding a job and needs to be encouraged to keep at it since he has chosen not to go to college. Once he finds a job make him pay a small amount of rent for his own upkeep. Also make him do some of the chores. At 19 again he is a man, so he needs to man up.
The party is over.
Dont be subtle. Subtle does not work on young people.