Hello everybody,

Three years after I separated from my then fiancee I am posting here. A year ago we reconnected via email. It turned out his son left to live with his mom and my ex was very unhappy about it. Shortly after Baby momma 1 - the mother of his daughter married. My ex had a rude awakening but obviously even that was not enough for him. He gained a lot of weight and was dating some woman that he later claimed was just him settling and he knew that they are not right for each other. We kept in touch since last summer. He said he wants to reconnect that all of the men in his family got married last year and this year they are expecting children and he would love to have a child. I bought this and thought ok - he is a changed man. His son is graduating from highschool and his daughter will be done in 2 years. He is sincere in his wish to have a family and a child- he kept on telling me how much he wants that . I just need to wait till they turn 18- that was his mantra. I am grateful I did not buy it because dear ladies always heed the saying: "One of the most important things in life that I learned is to ignore most of what people say . I watch what they DO instead". ~ Amanda Patterson.

Yes , dear women men say that till they turn 18 and that they truly want a family and a child but do their actions tell you that. Well, last week I was informed that he signed a student loan for his son to go to community college and since his son will need discipline he will move his son in for the next two years so he can monitor and guide his progress until he is ready to go to two year college. I guess in 2 years if his daughter goes to him and asks him to sign her loan and move in with him his response will be the same. Where did the dream of having a wife and a child go. I do not know - obviously not priority.

I am happy I did not attach emotionally, physically or mentally. Yes, it was disappointing in a way. I informed him that under the changed circumstances I no longer consider him a suitable marriage material and can only stay friends until his circumstances change. And yes Baby momma 2 asked fora raise in her child support since his son graduated highschool. On top he has his own pile of loans from undergrad and grad school plus the loan he just signed for his son.

It is not just the money issue- it is again him and his mother that took the decisions. I was simply informed what they have decided to do. I felt like I was back in 2011 and told him that it felt we are back where we started. I think he needs time. The question is do I have that time - no . It is sad but I see him only as a friend and not a suitable match or marriage material. Why is it that we can spot the problems of other people and cannot see what is the issue with ourselves.

Love and peace and hope my post has thrown some light for somebody in a similar situation. The moral of the story - some people never change:) Make sure you do change for the better and make your life glorious fun. You deserve it