DH & Skids Suddenly Close Relationship..
For most of DH and I's marriage he and his youngest son SS30 have had a good relationship albeit a little distant. DH saw them maybe every few months even though they live 10 mins away, but mostly 2x a year. One year skid was too busy to see DH so xmas gifts weren't picked up until April. Fast forward to March, DH and I took a trip and got all my kids together. They live in different states so having them all together was a rare thing due to college, jobs, distance, etc. We got a group photo together, DH was in it too, and I made it my background pic on Facebook. As soon as DH gets home he gets a call from ss30 wanting to come over this weekend and bring gskids. He says he feels that it's important to get together more and it's good for the kids to get to spend more time with DH. Since March, ss30 has been over every weekend, sometimes both Saturday and Sunday, ALL FREAKING DAY until 8 or 9 at night.
DH thinks it's the greatest thing ever, I'm happy for him, though I don't think he noticed the connection and timing of these all of a sudden frequent visits. I'm a bit annoyed because I was off of FakeBook for about 5 years and only recently rejoined in a limited capacity, I'm not friends with skids or previous people who caused drama. I'm pretty certain that skid saw that DH "liked" the pic and this is what is fueling these visits. Wondering how long ss30 will keep this up or if he'll soon go back to seeing DH 2x a year. All this sudden clinginess reminds me of why I deactivated my acct years ago!
Anyone else's inclusion of your DH/SO in your family gatherings fuel a renewed interest in an actual relationship or visits from their offspring? Would love to hear your opinions of whether this is coincidence or clinginess/jealousy due to my Facebook post. Sorry, not sorry skid. DH is a part of my family too!
My guess is that it's
My guess is that it's coincidence, but - I don't want anyone at my house every weekend day for weeks at a time. That has to stop.
I think it's a bit much. I'm
I think it's a bit much. I'm hoping it will taper off once summer comes and they have other things to do.
Agree
It will probably taper off on its own. If it doesn't then obviously you need to discuss some limits with DH.
Probably a coincidence
Probably a coincidence because that is a lot of effort on his part just for a like. There might be more to it than likes on Facebook, is your DH spending more on your side and SS is trying to get a piece of what he thinks is his? It's not cheap to entertain people like that every weekend. When it comes to stepkids it's always about money.
Anyway, I posted a lovely picture of myself, DH and my 2 bios a few days ago, now my SD and all the in laws are coming this weekend. I'm going to bet my SIL takes "family" pictures with my kids when I'm not in the room.
Maybe ss thinks DH is
Maybe ss thinks DH is spending money for my kids but it's not true. I foot the bill for any gatherings with my brood. I even treat DH! Same for DH, he has been footing the bill and ordering out for skid and his family every weekend now since they want take out. You could be right, he might be trying to recoup what he thinks is his from his dad, in terms of time and money.
I can't tell you how many
I can't tell you how many times I've bought something and BM or SD pitched a fit about it because they thought DH was spending his money on me, god forbid he do that!
I think we figured it out, takeout for the whole family paid for every weekend. It's so sickening when these divorced guilty dad's jump with glee at the opportunity for their kids to take advantage of them.
This will either fade away over the summer of he'll start wanting more like vacations for the whole family paid for by grandpa.
Welp
SS probably thought dang I better amp it up, cause maybe image NOT relationships is what drives SS?
Many skids do not want big daddio to actually have a life with their wife, let alone HER family too. They despise the idea that daddio would consider her kids family too him. The insecure COD . They do not want to see it and if they do they have to step it up.
Like Futuro said let DH go there .
I'm thinking this is the case
I'm thinking this is the case. This weekend we got back from an overnight adventure and guess who was waiting at the house before we even got home?! Yep, ss and his family. I visited for a minute then excused myself. DH was happy to see them but also a little annoyed because he couldn't get settled after getting home and had to go to bed later than usual to get things done since they stayed so late. The older ss is the one who used to be clingy, but now he's living on his own and sorta has it together. I find this behavior from a grown man with a wife and kids really odd. To be so focused on dad when he should be focusing on his marriage, kids, and his own life. I couldn't imagine as an adult being so clingy with a parent. I work and have a lot of responsibility. There's no way I would drag my family to my moms home and wait on her stoop to make sure she paid attention to me the second she got back from a trip with her significant other.
I know DH should set boundaries around this newfound neediness but I doubt he will. He's been enjoying the spotlight even though it's a bit annoying and tiresome for him too.
That's everyone here's
That's everyone here's nightmare-change from peace.
Ex SD refused to be in a
Ex SD refused to be in a photo with her dad, half sister, and I. Because I was in it.
At her 21st, ex wanted a photo of the three of us (him, her and I). I wasn't keen but didn't want to make a scene, so said ok.
However, I needn't have worried, as she snapped NO very loudly when he asked her to come over and join the photo.