DH & SS25 rant
So SS25 is now living with his aunt (DH's sister) after living with us all through our 7 years of marriage, then with BM for a few months and now his aunt. He still has the part time job that I held his feet to the fire to get.
He has a student loan that DH took out and SS has given us very little toward it. SS has nothing to show for this $40,000 loan by the way since he dropped out. It has been almost a year since he gave us anything.
DH retired and we have sold our home and wanted to buy another in another state but we cannot get a mortgage right now so will need to rent for awhile which isn't the end of the world. We have to sell our rental condo which I love, in order to qualify.
However this loan is a thorn in my side and of course shows up on DH's credit report.
We found out his aunt got angry with SS25 for smoking pot in her house and may throw him out. He is now talking about mooching off his brother in the state we are planning on moving to.
Anyway with all the stress, I again see what a slouch DH is being and lit into him tonight.
I told him SS has money to buy pot and alcohol (he also drinks) but can't give us a dime towards HIS loan. I told DH that I don't want to hear any excuses, I just want to see that he is giving us money and let me know how he is going to get it to us when we move. I was very angry and said that HE should be the one saying this not me, that he needs to be responsible for making SS be responsible.
I am so losing respect for this man. WTF???
I understand your pain. It is
I understand your pain. It is frustrating. I am glad I found out stuff before getting married because I said I wouldn't marry him until these issues are resolved. This morning I told him he needed to move out of my house. It's not just because of the amount of money he gives his adult children, but because he requires no responsibility on their part. I'm not going to live with that when he keeps telling my 7-year old son to "grow up". Seriously? He's 7. Tell your own to grow up first.
A lack of ability to handle
A lack of ability to handle finances will always on some level effect a relationship and cause the parties involved to fight or lose respect for each other
It's why you should really never get into finance stuff with family and friends
He made a choice to help his son go to college and now that effects every choice you make as a couple- absolutely not surprised you are losing respect for him
All I can say is well done for standing up to him and continuing to have expectations. Consider separating your finances if you don't want to be effected by this. Also start to think long and hard about your future
Oh, that's a shame your DH
Oh, that's a shame your DH got a loan for his son. I think it's bad enough my boyfriend's daughter isn't speaking to him because he refuses to pay off her $9,000 in student loans (she also failed out)...but wow...$40,000 and in your DH's name...ugh...that hurts.