My wife and I are both 54 and she has a daughter who has had 3 children by 3 different irresponsible males and lives in our house rent free. She is bipolar with daddy issues. Her first child was adopted out and these all involve mixed race children. This is an undercurrent which still exists 150 years after the Civil War but we don’t treat the kids any different. SD and wife are co-dependent enmeshed. I have made SD make other arrangements twice because of her attitude of entitlement and disrespect. I relent for my wife and the kids and let her back. She is street smart, loud, and has run with a rough crowd since 17 years old. I met her BM when she was 19 and pregnant the first time. I thought it was a phase. She has wrecked 2 of our cars; repaired 1 and totaled the the other. We don’t have the finances for this. She can sporadically work retail but can’t keep a job. No child support. Food stamps help and she is finally going through the disability process and taking medication. My wife’s GUILT drives this process. No other family members want to be anywhere near SD . They laugh when I tell them that we will have her on her own soon. I am not perfect . Now my wife is stress eating to morbid obesity and I take tranquilizers waiting as they both tell me she will find safe harbor this year. I know I want things to happen in my time and am impatient. God’s time is different. My mother died and I used the money to pay off the car my SD totaled. I bought a house for my wife and I to be together and she could be a grandma. I didn’t want The SD circus 24/7. The SD who is mentally ill and sleeps  all of the time and has a 1 yr and 5 yr old dictates every aspect of our life through circumstance. I let them know I have been over my limit for a while and we have had the house 1-2 years. She is scared of me in a healthy way because I have a history of booting her out. But the children???