disengaging
:? THANK GOD I FOUND THIS SITE SO TELL ME PEOPLE HAVE ANY OF YOU HAD HOLIDAY PROBLEMS WHEN IT COMES TO THE HOLIDAYS? SEVERAL YEARS AGO MY HUSBAND TOLD ME HIS KIDS WHO LIVED 20 MINUTES AWAY DID NOT COME TO VISIT HIM BECAUSE OF THEIR DISLIKE TOWARD ME. THAT IS FINE, AFTER ALL THE PROBLEMS DO NOT NEED THEM IN MY LIFE. PROBLEM IS THAT FOR SEVERAL YEARS NOW HE GETS PHONE CALLS TO JOIN THEM FOR THE HOLIDAYS NOW THAT WE HAVE MOVED OUT OF STATE. ALWAYS WITH THEIR MOM. FROM REMARKS MADE ON FACEBOOK IT IS OBVIOUS THEY CONSIDER MY ABSENCE"NO GREAT LOSS" SINCE I AM NOT WANTED THERE AND I HAVE NOT BEEN INVITED IT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE TO INSIST I GO. INSTEAD OF SPENDING HOLIDAYS ALONE,AND FEELING THAT THIS GROUP OF PEOPLE ARE ENJOYING THE FACT THAT AFTER 12 YRS. OF MARRIAGE HE WILL LEAVE ME TO BE FAMILY WITH THEM I AM CONSIDERING OTHER OPTIONS. MY PASSPORT IS STILL VALID. I THOUGHT A TRIP TO EUROPE WOULD BE NICE. IT WOULD BE GOOD NEWS TO TELL HIS EX WHERE I HAVE GONE TO SPEND THE HOLIDAYS.SHE ONLY STAYED WITH HIM 7YRS. YET 35 YRS. LATER SHE IS STILL SPENDING HOLIDAYS WITH HIM. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE??????
ha ha, talk about people not
ha ha, talk about people not moving on!! you know, if i didn't have bios and i just had skids.....i would make trips on the skid time. I would go for weekends here, vacations there. i mean, to truly know what peace is and enjoy it would be amazing.
I think DH would be jealous and he'd leave his skidmania for trips with me! lol....
I'm with you...that is frikin insulting. Some people are just rotten.
OMG! Bullsh*t. This man
OMG! Bullsh*t. This man leaves YOU (his wife) during the holidays to be with his EX and THEIR (I'm assuming adult) children????? You have been putting up with this for 12 yrs.? He is living a double life at your expense. Totally not fair. Something not right with this picture. Hire a good P.I. and if needed, an even better lawyer. JMHO.
Why do you allow this? If
Why do you allow this? If your husband wants to spend holidays with his kids, he can go and live with them. Tough. It is you that has allowed this disrespect...and I am NOT being mean...I know it's hard...I know you want peace...but YOU SHOULD BE FIRST. He married you. If not, he should take a hike. Do not allow your husband or his spoiled and hateful spawn to treat you this way. Demand respect or ship them out of your life.
Go look at yourself in the mirror...find the person you were before the crazies showed up...and promise yourself you will demand respect.
Stop allowing this behavior.
Stop allowing this behavior. He is "family" with you. If his kids don't like you--too bad. I am pretty sure this is not true. He's got some issues with the EX. He probably has holiday sex with her. Uses the kids don't like you as an excuse to still have "fun time" with the EX. I'd check up on his little story. Gut tells me he is lying.
If DH wants to spend the
If DH wants to spend the holidays with the X, go right ahead! He just better be afraid, be very afraid, when he gets home!
(and yes, I would definitely be taking a trip while he was gone---somewhere he would really really really like to be. Then I'd send him pictures from my phone and brag about it when I got back!)
I don't worry about an
I don't worry about an affair. being the wife I am privy to his manly abilities.major heart problems, diabetes, long list of health problems. old age can be a bitch. I just want hubby to have something of interest to talk about at the dinner table with them. This time i will only buy myself a ticket. If he is still sitting down to holiday dinner 30 yrs after their divorce then she needs to pay for his ticket.But it just might be hard to do on her subway job.
I don't worry about an
I don't worry about an affair. being the wife I am privy to his manly abilities.major heart problems, diabetes, long list of health problems. old age can be a bitch. I just want hubby to have something of interest to talk about at the dinner table with them. This time i will only buy myself a ticket. If he is still sitting down to holiday dinner 30 yrs after their divorce then she needs to pay for his ticket.But it just might be hard to do on her subway job.
If you have a joint account,
If you have a joint account, you could inform him that your trip will be HIS Christmas gift to YOU. I agree - there is something wrong wiht theis situation. Maybe he can't have a physical affair but where is his loyalty to you? Twelve years of getting slapped in the face with this is twelve too many.
I can not believe that they
I can not believe that they do not want you there. Youa re is wife. I am sorry but no way in hell would I stay behind. I like the comment about it being your christmas present to you from him.
Oh no, I do understand why
Oh no, I do understand why you would be upset and you have every reason. Whether his kids like it or not, you are his wife. If they don't accept you, fine, life goes on. Spending holiday time without you to be with kids and ex needs to stop and NOW! YOU should be building a life with your husband, time sharing children with ex and building a love relationship together is over. Sounds to me like kids are being manipulative and doing their best to put a wedge in your marriage, very selfish to think of their own desires.
I too have adult step children, raised them since they were 5 & 7, this is 22 years later. It didn't make a difference that mom had left them, they still didn't want me and that was always known in our household. Bio mom was the typical pain in the neck to the point husband refused to deal with her and she was always running to him to try and make me look bad. I hung in for along time, trying to be understanding of the situation. Bio mom went as far as to call my daughters and I liars over a situation and told my husband that he had not been there to protect the boys. What? If anyone needed to be protected from anyone it was the boys needing protection from their mother.
I finally had enough when younger boy rescheduled his daughter's birthday party so that his mother could attend. We had not been invited to his wedding because of bio mom and now we were expected to attend a b.day party with her. That was the straw that broke the camel's back so to speak. I told him there was no way, explained why as I ahve said here and he went nuts all over his and and I. This was in Aug and I have not spoke to him since and do not plan to.
My husband was extremely upset at the time but it faded and he now is trying to email only to get the brush off.
We put up with way too much from the steps for the sake of keeping peace or for the love of our husbands but they are fully taking advantage of us and trying their darnest to put a wedge between us. They will if you let them.
I say, take a stand.