this is my first post on this site. I don't expect any sympathy here because this is what happened. When the step twins were like 17 the boy and I got into first shove match then small scuffle. His twin called police and I was arrested. The charge was dropped after period of time. Not long thereafter the step kids finished high school and we had the opportunity and moved 2000 miles away. I got to point of some others on this site where I had enough of the negativity and decided to totally sever any and all communication with these step kids. 5 years have gone by and wife and I are happy in our new environs. Kids generally doing their own things. Problem is: they visit. I can't bring myself to even try to communicate with them or even be in the same house. They are SO self-absorbed. The wife and her mother have always seemed to encourage this behavior. I can't stand them!! My kids don't act like this. We've been married for 15 years. We get along fine generally but I can't stand them. I swear I tried to get along with them but it will always be all my fault that we didn't bond. I can hear my wife now say how her little angels were so wanting my affection and I was cold and shunned them. I really wish half the time my wife would move back to her kids and parents. I think she stays for financial reasons. We did a lot of counseling when kids were in high school and I think I was the only one who talked. I used the legal charge thing as my excuse as to why I refused to be anywhere near her kids for a long time but that was like 7 years ago. I just really can't stand them and don't need the negativity. If we divorce so be it. I'll take all the blame. Thanks for letting me vent.