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Emotional Infidelity?

meanstepmom's picture

Submitted by meanstepmom on Tue, 07/07/2015 - 8:19pm

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Adult Stepchildren

Is it possible that SD27 has priority in my marriage? She made plans with my husband on his birthday (today) and he didn't tell me which is just as bad and I was home babysitting SS baby. Am I the last person that matters in this marriage?

Justme54's picture

Submitted by Justme54 on Tue, 07/07/2015 - 9:16pm

WOW! Do I have this right...he has a 27 year old daughter and a baby from another relationship or marriage? Did you mean DS or grand SS baby? So they did their own thing while you were babysitting? More fact would be helpful, that sounds rather odd to me.

AVR1962's picture

Submitted by AVR1962 on Wed, 07/08/2015 - 1:07am

Oh boy, your husband did an absolute no no. he needs to get on-board, this needs to stop now or you will have continued years of the same treatment.

meanstepmom's picture

Submitted by meanstepmom on Wed, 07/08/2015 - 3:12pm

Thanks for all your answers and replies. DH and I have had the conversation time and again that if I don't come first in this relationship, how can he expect me to put him first? There have been Daddyd daughter dates, some of which I knew and some I didn't. Yes step daughter is 27 and step son is 29. DH and I babysit the grand baby, child of stepson, a few times a month. Get this, he went to church to do a weekly job for men's ministry and made this lunch date with his daughter, knowing I was taking him out to eat for his birthday dinner.

You are right, being in this position has deepened my depression, as y lack of self-esteem and lack of woman confidence. Is divorce the only answer?

sandye21's picture

Submitted by sandye21 on Wed, 07/08/2015 - 5:09pm

No, divorce is NOT the only answer. Putting yourself first is - not DH. Inform your DH that giving and respect goes both ways - you may not be able to babysit the next time he goes on a date with SD because you will be going on a date with a friend. Instead of having conversations with DH that he is obviously not hearing, have a conversation with a counselor to help you with your self-esteem, and setting boundaries.