feeling very frustrated
I hope someone can give me some advice!!
I began dating a wonderful man three years ago. His only daughter was a senior in high school and lived with him. My children are all grown (27, 21, and 21) and live on their own. I moved in with my boyfriend and his daughter, assuming that after graduation she would do something.
she is now finishing her second year out of high school - no job - no school plans - no drivers licence - no plans at all except which concerts she is going to attend this summer. Her father totally supports her and in return only asks her to do minor housekeeping chores. He enables her behavior and tells me she will know when its time. Other than that, she watches TV, and only leaves the house when her father takes her somewhere. I have no privacy any more with her father. We have always worked out together and even now she has started accompanying us on our daily trips to the gym. I want a boyfriend not a twenty year old child.
So should I push the issue
So should I push the issue with her about getting these? job, etc
Or should I let her dad do that? (which I have a hunch he won't) This young lady makes me very angry - she manipulates her father and everyone around her.
23 years ago I was in your
23 years ago I was in your shoes. My SD, who is also an only child, was living in my home, would not lift a finger to do anything and would not give DH and i a minute of privacy together. I was her maid, chauffeur and punching bag. I regret not taking action immediately. It might have meant an end to the marriage but I wouldn't have gone through the crap I did for 20+ years. Believe me - it only get worse unless you take a stand now. Give your SO the choice of creating a plan for SD to enter adulthood or losing you. If he makes the choice in favor of SD you will not be losing anything, you will be saving your self-respect.