I have been married to my husband for 15 years now and still love him dearly but recent events have made me want to call it quits. After reading several posts I think I am not a prime example of a good SM. Together we have 8 kids. Four of mine and four of his. They're ages are 22-29, each of us having 2 boys and 2 girls. I have a SD that is a pathological liar, has been an drug abuser and has 5 kids..She lives with her boyfriend (who doesn't work) and she doesn't either. You guessed it she always needs money. We have to give her gas money when she comes over so she can get home. Sometimes my H fills up the tank of her Ford F150 at the tune of about $70. She has been leeching off of us for about 6 years. Her mother left her dad for a younger man who was a complete loser. We tried for a while to take a couple of skids in to live with us early on in our marriage but they ended up back with thier mom (a nurse who was too lazy to work). I worked hard after my divorce to go back to school and get a degree and work part time. My kids were suffering with the new family situation and I tried my hardest to help them through always feeling like I was not giving them the attention they deserved. I found it hard to bond with the skids because of thier ages. My ss lived with us while in HS but caused some problems that sent him back to his mom. He didn't talk to his dad for a while then went into the Marines but got discharged. While he was with us I tried to be vulnerable and share my life experiences with him to help him understand me and he in turn used it against me in the end. So consequently there is a distant relationship. He lived in Florida a few years but came back, recently, to our town so he could be with family. He had no job and has bills to pay. At first he was with his mom but now is with us. My 24 yr old daughter and her 3 yrold son are living with us too along with my 22 yr old son who is away at college (a senior). My daughter is only here about 3-4 days a week. My husband has been very kind allowing them here. SS is 29 and wants to go to school. He decided to confront his sisters boyfriend about something that needed to wait until after Thanksgiving. Now SD will not come to dinner at our house. I tore into my SS because I was upset at the mess he created. He felt he had the right to say what was on his mind today.
My poor husband was in the middle trying to calm us both down but my SS was saying I ruined my kids life because of my childhood and many other very demeaning comments. I wanted him to leave my house that minute. So now Thanksgiving is going to be a sad, tense day and I wish I could go down to Florida and visit my mom and sister. He is upstairs and tomorrow wiil be tense. In the past I tried to reason with him telling him how I felt but now, like most of you, there is a detachment from him and his sister as she is full of drama. There are 2 more skids but they are tolerable. Well, I'm going to bed now and hope to wake up to a fresh start. I'm determined to enjoy the day no matter what. Thanks for listening.