Sorry, I thought that if I hit the "save" button, I could finish this post later. I'll continue..... I didn't like that he was alone in our home, but I was put in a bad position. My husband has been in and out of the hospital for about two weeks now. He is home now and is doing a lot better, but my SC will not leave us alone to get back to our normal way of life. My SS , although I do appreciate the help he has given us, has also been going off for weekends to cheat on his wife.
I ended up getting in a huge argument with him because Friday morning he TELLS us that his sister will be here in a few hours. I have told him in the past not to take it upon himself to invite people to our house without asking us. He started yelling at me in front of my husband (of course, my DH stuck up for his son), telling me that I knew she was coming and that I forgot. My husband and I lead a very quiet lifestyle and we like it that way. It is overwhelming for me to have to share my home with people that I know don't like me and do everything they can to piss me off. They come and try to take control of my home. Well, it turned out that I wasn't told she was coming. SD had texted her father, and he never told me. But the damage was already done to the relationship between my SS and myself.
So now my SS tells my SD about the argument and I'm on her s...tlist. They stayed busy, working around our farm. I find it really odd that they can be so helpful, but then do something that they know is going to start a fight between their father and myself. What kind of respect is that showing to him? So now both of them come out into the living room, and start talking to each other about the next two weekends coming up, but they are waiting for us to ask them what they are talking about. When I heard his son ask his sister if she was also coming up in two weeks when his wife and child were flying up for a week to visit, I asked them what was going on. My SS is going away next weekend and wants his sister to stay here (how about asking if we want someone here, maybe we want to have some time alone in OUR home), so she said she would come back with one of the grandchildren. I told her we will be fine alone, but she gave the excuse that she wants to stop her son from smoking those vapor cigarettes so she thinks bringing him here for the weekend will get him to stop. Oh, and SS is going off with his girlfriend for the weekend (he didn't say that but I'm not stupid, the last time he came back with a hickey on his neck) I'm surprised he's not worried about me telling his wife what's going on. He is also a "disabled" vet (back problem brought on by himself). A disabled vet that goes hunting and wading through the swamps at night trapping gators and catching frogs. He can do everything but serve his country, but brags to everyone that doesn't know that he's fought and served his time in an honorable way. Not so. I know I am venting to everyone so please forgive me.
My husband said he figured out what they were doing in the living room and he is going to tell his daughter that we want a weekend alone. After I left the room and they went to bed, I heard his son walk back in the living room to discuss something with his father. I don't know whether to leave him and start over or not let these two get their wish and get me out of their father's life. Any advice or questions, would be appreciated.

I knew that SS's family was coming up to visit but I didn't know we were having a family reunion. The timing is not good for multiple long visits. My husband's vocal cords are partially paralyzed so it isn't like he can carry on lengthy conversations. We don't have the income from our business coming in, so with the extra expenses of hotel stays in the city and healthcare expenses that aren't covered by our insurance, we are finding it hard to make ends meet. A few weeks ago, my SD and I were talking and she told me that the three of them SS, SD and DH) don't like to be told they can't do something. She said if someone tells them "No", they will do it to be spiteful. So that is why they will not leave my husband and I alone, because they know I want to get our life back to normal and they want to prove to me that they will go when they are ready, not when I want them to go. It's a control issue and they play their father like a fiddle...they always have. This time is different though. I am not going to allow them to humiliate me in my home and if my husband doesn't back me, I AM going to make plans on leaving him. I can't play these childish mean games for the rest of my life with these two adults that I don't even want to try to get along with anymore. She thinks she knows her father so well, but he does not retaliate when I don't agree with him. He has changed in that way as he has gotten older. I am just tired, I am not feeling well either and I don't need the headaches that come when they visit.

SS is 40 and SD is 50. I am going to have a talk with my husband today. This can't go on like this any longer. I'll get back later and update. Wish me luck!!

TY, TY, TY for all of your advise and support. Here is an update: SD left this morning (1 down, 1 to go) and said she will come back in about a month. My husband told her that we need some time alone and he feels his life is falling apart around him. I know it is the calm before the storm because I saw the skids talking in the driveway so they are not going to just let us have our way without a fight. They both know that I have declared war. I have been very vocal, which is something they haven't seen before. In the past, I have pouted and gone to another part of the house because I don't like confrontation. The mistake they made was taking my kindness as a weakness and pushing me to the point that I don't care what they or their father thinks of me anymore.
I am going to pull my camera out and start taking pictures of this "disabled" vet bending over and lifting heavy equipment. I wonder if he brought his new semi-automate rifle with him to "accidentally" kill me. No, I'm not afraid of him. He's all bark and he knows I am not backing down anymore. I know he has a mental problem. Last night he tried to get us to believe that he has PTSS, but is one of those vets that keeps it hidden. His sister believes him, but I told him that I believe that it can be a problem for our vets, but only the ones that actually served their Country. He left the room.
To be continued......

I hate when I just post a comment, and it doesn't show up . Now I have to write it over again.

I know tog is right about expecting something worse than the last childish game my SC have played. I'm ready to fight back, no holds barred. SS was extra sweet yesterday :sick: but this morning he was in text mode, my guess is with his sister.

I'll try to update later.