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I don't know what to do!

anothermom's picture

Submitted by anothermom on Wed, 05/20/2015 - 12:16pm

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Adult Stepchildren

My SO and I will be leaving for vacation at the end of the week.

When, we get back his father and (19)son will be coming for a visit. The son is a complete ass! I think he plans on not going back and free loading on us, once again.
I've told SO I don't want this! I suggested he pay for an apartment (I read this on this site somewhere)SO laughed.He said I could pay for it. I dropped it but, still continue to tell him he is not living here again.

SO does the whole "If it were your child " skit. I told him "if it were my child he would have already felt my wrathand he would really have a reason to hate me".

We rent our home. I have three bk's and pay the majority of everything it takes to run this home. Therefore, I feel I should have more of a say!

I don't want to be the one to leave this place. It would be easier for him and his son to find a place rather than us.(my bk's and I)

I want this solved before they arrive. My anxiety is in high!!!!

Overit1960's picture

Submitted by Overit1960 on Sat, 05/30/2015 - 1:34pm

^^^THAT^^^

YEP, Exactly my thought. Your SO sounds like an ass, frankly. If I was paying the majority of the bills and some guy was living with me and giving me that 'tude, he would be outta there. Hmmm wonder where the son picked up his azzhole like behavior?

The answer is NO. NO visitors. You pay the bills, it's your house as well as his house. He should respect your wishes and not insist and not pressure you.

What kind of crap is "if I were your child?" I'm sorry but I think you can do better than that freeloader and his loser son. Put yourself first because no one else will.

Merry's picture

Submitted by Merry on Sun, 05/31/2015 - 2:53pm

You don't KNOW that SS is planning to freeload, just want to be prepared in case that's what happens, right? Being prepared is good. Sounds like you can't leave this up to your SO. You'll need to make it clear to SS that he can't stay longer than the planned visit. Find your voice.

Sometime after the niceties of greeting your guests, you ask SS how long he plans to stay. If you get a nonresponse, or a shrug, or "oh, a couple of months I hope" that's when you speak up. "SS, staying here longer than the visit won't work and can't happen. You'll need to make other arrangements." Don't apologize, just be clear and matter of fact.

If your SO throws a fit, he can move out with SS. Nobody gets to move another person into a household over the objections of a partner.

anothermom's picture

Submitted by anothermom on Mon, 06/01/2015 - 7:07pm

I thank you all for your advice!!
Merry is right, I'm preparing for the what if's.I've also contacted my landlord. He told me we are now on a month to month basis. I can resign a lease with out SO,. YAY! I think I'd rather find a new house. At first, I didn't want to leave, just because....BUT,now I would rather be in a home that's fresh.
When, ss shows up, I'm going to look at ss 19 and ask him straight out what his plans are.I will then let him know he can't stay here. IF, he had planned on it
My three children are mine. My hubby passed away in 05. So,if it comes down to it, I have nothing to lose. I thank God for that.