Another day and yet another breakdown - me that is. I have read so many stories here and mine is no where close to the worst. I just think I am so not cut out for this job. Why I ever applied for it is beyond me. I fell in love put on my rose coloured glasses and they have been the thorn in my side ever since.

To start, I love my DH like crazy. When we are alone life is FANTASTIC!!! Then there are the SKIDS - SS18 and SS20. I also have my own son 12. So I guess the start of my nightmare is living with four boys. I was never the share-house kind of girl. I like things neat and tidy - this is beyond impossible in this house. I am not a neat freak - just like things clean and tidy.

- I do thier laundry - it sits for days to weeks waiting to be collected (yes they are adults)
- I go into the laundry to find towels that have been in sports bags with mould and mildew all over them, just chucked on the floor for me to tend
- I clean the house only to find sand tracked all the way through
- doors to their rooms have to be kept closed at all times due to smell and mess
- their rooms are the first two when you enter the house so great for your welcoming home
- I refuse to go in their rooms so no idea how many weeks (months?) their sheets were last washed
- DH is encouraging them to cook for themselves - well it took me 40 years to aquire nice cooking utensils - now many are charred and unusable
- leftover food in the fridge often has discernable bite marks in it - and is put back in the same container for me to discover. Not labeled for their sole use, just tasted and put back.
- I cook - and I mean seriously cook - a pork roast, a ham, a beef roast and 6 different veg, all in the same dinner because boys eat a lot - only to find out as I am taking it all out of the oven that one SS is off to the gym and the other to basketball ('but we'll eat when we get back, whats the big deal')
- I go out with friends for dinner as a treat but make sure that the boys are all fed before I leave - so effectively the pleasure of going out for dinner is wiped by still having to cook
- then if that isn't the icing on the cake - all the dishes and mess from dinner is saved for me - me the housemaid - because what? i deserve that???
- I stand my ground and they sit there for days - up to a week - until DH finally cleans up.
- all of these issues have been addressed by DH with then many many many times, but enforcement is not a strong point

Ok you get the picture - very similar to so many others out there. Since clearly no plan I have tried previously has worked I need some advice.

From now on do I tell DH that every single thing they leave lying around is his responsibilty, that every bit of food left in the strainers of the sink - he should pickout. That all the newspapers and magazines left around the house he needs to collect. That the skid marks in their toilet and mould in their bathroom he needs to clean (not to mention the smell). The water botles and sludge left in the kitchen from their workout gear is all his.

Clearly put up and shut up has not worked for me.I have changed so much even friends have noticed the tired grumpy irritable person I have become. I raise it with DH and he tries really hard for a week and it all goes by the wayside because its TOO HARD.

As I have posted previously - if they go he will hold it against me and if they stay I am just getting more and more horrible to live with by the day.