It is just depressing...
...to have someone in my house with whom resolution of issues cannot even be attempted. I try so hard to be disengaged but the words of her nasty email message to me just keep coming back. Yes, I will be getting out of the house to do things I enjoy to keep my mind otherwise occupied, but to wake up in the morning and see her buzzing around with her self righteous attitude turns my stomach.
She'll be leaving again soon but honestly if her being here needed to turn into a permanent arrangement, I don't think I could tolerate it. She still "lived here" but was away at school when the shit hit the fan. I think she thinks she has the upper hand because of what she said to me online. She does certainly have her father wrapped around her finger. I don't like to be this way but she will get nothing from me. No one treats me like that without some sort of consequence.
For the record, I am just here venting this morning. I've appreciated so many of the comments and suggestions people have given. However, I'd like to request that the haters who want to tell me I am doing everything wrong and then rudely continue with my obvious solution, please keep it to yourselves. I've gotten enough of that from YSD over the years. There are ways to make suggestions and voice disagreements without attacking the OPs.
Hi IAW, I am so sorry to hear
Hi IAW, I am so sorry to hear you are feeling bad today. I hope she leaves soon and you can try to recover. Not sure what the email is you referred to but it is something you might try changing in your mind. I did that about the nasty letter I recently received from my SD. I played a bit of a mind game and kept telling myself - she is desperate, she is off balance, she does not know what she is talking about etc etc. This made the letter seem so much less hurtful and stopped taking up as much space in my head as it did the first couple of days. Hope you feel better soon. Take care.
Thanks, all! I just re-read
Thanks, all! I just re-read my post and feel I got a little feisty toward the end of it. Perhaps I should have kept quiet about that, but I have seen recently some posters getting personally bashed and that is not what this site is about.
When people have shared an alternate viewpoint with me, I appreciate it just as much as the support, because we need to consider all angles. Those of you who offer support, encouragement and new ways of looking at things are such a godsend to all who come here!
20years, I've also tried the thinking about the rude comments differently but I am more successful some days than others. You've given me some more material to try, thanks!!
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I know this was not intended
I know this was not intended to be funny, but it did make me laugh. Why would the police care if you were a nymphomaniac? Is it a crime?
Sonrisa-that comment may just
Sonrisa-that comment may just take the cake! In my case, it is not so much the content of what is said than the dysfunctional attachment between DH and YSD. A marriage is within 2 people, not 3. In my case, it is more that DH and I are not a team. If we make a decision, all YSD has to do is get upset, cry and screech (academy award level screeching) and our decision is completely out the window. DH often doesn't even remember the decision we made or he'll say he "didn't understand". How convenient. He's taken Masters level classes, and not that the ability to take Masters classes has a strong correlation with common sense and relationship skills, however, he just can't keep playing the "I didn't understand" card as often as he does and still be believed.
If what she said was utterly absurd, it might actually help DH wake up and see the real damage that's been caused.
The last thing said to me
The last thing said to me about my disengaging was that I must be menopausal still and maybe need more hormones. There are not enough hormones in the entire world to make me want to spend time with SD! Sheesh.
The last resort for someone
The last resort for someone who knows they are wrong but still wants to win is through personal attack. I'd counter with, "The fact that you do not want to support your wife shows you are low on testosterone."
OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!! Thank
OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!! Thank you sandye21 for this: "The last resort for someone who knows they are wrong but still wants to win is through personal attack."
Oh.Emm.Gee!!!!! Those are probably the most powerful words I could have read this day.
This is exactly what SD14 does b/c she knows she's f'd up, but NOTHING is EVER her fault, so in order to be right (in her own delusional world), she personally attacks me.
Thank you for your words! They are genious!