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Is it really over?

MadHatter's picture

Things have been quiet as far as SD goes since DH finally realized that his role in her life was that of an ATM. She's had him over for his birthday and Father's day, she's even managed to call him a few times just to chat and was actually civil to him. She called him a few days ago and asked if he would mind looking after her dogs for a few days while she and SIL went to the beach. DH was happy to do that for them.

When the time rolled around yesterday afternoon that they should have been home, DH called SIL to make sure that the dogs looked happy and to be sure that they had made it home safely. Well, SIL didn't answer. A few minutes later, DH's phone rings and it's SD. She's getting a divorce! She's through with him. He's through with her! The honeymoon is OVER!

"Why?", you may ask? Because a rock was slung up off the interstate by a tractor-trailer and it hit the car windshield and cracked it. Apparently, SD believes that there was something that SIL could have done to prevent this from happening. She had such a fit that she pulled her wedding ring and engagement ring off her hand and threw it out the window of the moving car onto the interstate.

I cannot make this stuff up, y'all. I have never seen any one person so stupid in my life.

So, what do you guys think? Is it over? My prediction for this marriage was 10 months. We are currently in the 10th month as we speak. If they make it through this one, they might make it a few more years, but this may be the final straw because SIL is pissed that she threw away that ring that he worked so hard to buy her, and he's tired of her idiotic tantrums.

hereiam's picture

Oh my, that was quite the tantrum! Threw her rings out the window? Surely, SIL can find someone more stable and appreciative.

I can have a temper but I would never even dream of throwing my wedding ring away. Has never entered my mind.

MadHatter's picture

It's crazy isn't it? I'm just shocked. All I can think is that there is some homeless person counting his lucky stars because he happened to be sitting under that bridge when a 2 carat diamond smacked him in the head.

hereiam's picture

She threw a 2 carat diamond ring out the window of a moving car on the interstate? If I was SIL, would for sure divorce her.

The act, alone, is so disrespectful but we are not talking about a cheap gold band with a diamond chip (which is what my SD got for a wedding ring). I would be livid.

MadHatter's picture

Yeah, the poor little boy didn't skimp. He saved for months to buy that ring. It was a beauty.

ESMOD's picture

I really had to think long and hard about this.. I was really confused.. thought SIL was sister in law.. lol.

 

I get it.. poor guy... sheesh.

ndc's picture

What a moron.  Prior to this, I had only heard of one ring going out the car window.  My uncle and his then-fiancee were fighting in the car and she took her engagement ring off and threw it at him.  His window happened to be open and out it went.  She at least wasn't *trying* to throw it out the window.  They eventually did get married, she got a much more modest replacement engagement ring, and they've been married about 40 years now.  I don't see the same outcome for your SD.

What was your husband's reaction to all his?

MadHatter's picture

He's been pacing while on the phone with her mother reminding her of all the reasons that SD & SIL should've never gotten married. They were too young, SD is too immature and spoiled, discussing whose fault it is that she's the way she is...blah, blah, blah.

Please, let me tell you whose fault it is. *air_kiss* Between the two of them they raised a brat who doesn't have a lick of sense! However, my disengaged self is going to sit right here and type away to you guys instead of getting involved and telling both of them what I've known for YEARS. Yay, me!

I don't believe I've ever witnessed a full grown woman have the little baby, cuss fit, throwing things, screaming, stomping tantrum like SD does if she doesn't get her way. If you were just an oberserver, it would be hilarious. She should've been taught a lesson a long time ago. 

StepUltimate's picture

Missed this Monday but what jumps out at me is:

However, my disengaged self is going to sit right here and type away to you guys instead of getting involved and telling both of them what I've known for YEARS.

That is so awesome! Doing that exact thing (and praying) got me through the past week without losing my cool. It totally helped my stay on-track. A) just getting my thoughts and feelings out, and B.) the invaluable feedback & encouragement from the StepTalkers. 

MadHatter's picture

If I hadn't been able to get through the worst of it, so far, on this forum, there is no doubt in my mind that I would've jumped right in tthe middle of it to at least ask if they even knew the child they raised AT ALL. DH and BM are both acting like they're so surprised that their precious baby is acting this way. Instead of telling them that they are blind and delusional, I type to you ladies. THANK YOU SO MUCH for the help. Because of you ladies, and gents too, my hardest dilemma is trying to maintain a neurtral looking face when DH is in the room. 

Rags's picture

A friend of mine had her wedding and engagement rings fall off when she had her hand hanging out of the car window on a road trip once.  Her DH marked the mileage, stopped at a pawn shop in the next town and bought a used metal detector and went back to look for the rings.  He/they found them after several hours and he has never let her forget it.. He  had been telling her for months following a significant weight loss to get her rings sized. After the recovery of the rings he sold the metal detector at the pawn shop as they progressed on their road trip.

Voluntarily throwing something with such significant symbolism during a tantrum would be a deal breaker for me if I were your SSIL.

MadHatter's picture

I also heard him say to her last night, "I know how you act when you can't comprehend something. You get mad and, instead of asking for enlightenment or education about the subject, you have a melt-down." 

And, that, my friend, is the cold hard truth. She's dumb. She's ignorant. She's uneducated. She tries to cover up her ignorance by being a b***** and only winds up looking like a stupid b****. The only thing that she has going for her is that she's very pretty and she uses that and a young and dumb act (except it's no act) to get what she wants. 

sandye21's picture

Just wondering if she is an only child?  My SD was like this - everything had to go her way or she slammed a door in your face or had a meltdown.  Pretty sure DH and BM still see her as a little darling but she 'outgrew' that a long time ago. 

Thank goodness your SD isn't pregnant.  Hope she is self-sufficient.  Don't let her move in with you.

MadHatter's picture

Well, it's complicated. She is an only child between DH and bio-mom. However, bio-mom adopted a little girl when SD was about 10 years old and there were her  2 step-brothers (bio-mom's husbands kids). DH has always doted on her because she is his only child. 

justmakingthebest's picture

If I was your SIL I would have stopped the car- not matter what that took and kicked her ass on the side of the road! She can come home when she finds the ring! 

MadHatter's picture

Great idea! I probably would've done something on the same lines. Unfortunately, we're talking about a naive little boy that doesn't want to admit that the beautiful fish he caught is rotten on the inside. 

Rags's picture

If it isnt over ... it should be.  Sounds to me that this SD will be making interesting Porn videos with her dogs before long since no decent man should have anything to do with her. Not that I have seen any of these types of videos. It just seems appropriate considering her toxic crap.

smh

MadHatter's picture

SD and SIL have gone into hiding, bugged out, gone off the grid. DH and bio-mom are both pacing the floors because they haven't heard from their precious angel in 36 hours. I CAN see why they are concerned, and I think SD should have enough respect for her parents to get in touch with them every 24 hours or so when the last that they heard SD & SIL were having violent, marriage ending, arguments. Of course, she doesn't have that kind of respect for her parents or anyone else. DH left them both messages saying that, if he doesn't hear from both of them by 10 PM, he's coming to their house. That was about 2 hours ago and still no word. 

 

sandye21's picture

You mentioned that SD is immature.  No wonder!  Her parents have to hear from her every single day or they wring their hands with worry.  Thye need to give her room to grow up.  Please let us know what happens.

MadHatter's picture

Thans, Sandye21. Yes, I'll definitely let y'all know. SD is 23. She'll be 24 in just a few months. I might have given the wrong impression. They don't hear from her every day under normal circumstances. DH went weeks without speaking to her at all not too long ago, and it's not uncommon for them to go a week or 2 without checking in. It's just that under these circumstances, DH knows they're fighting about some pretty serious stuff. You hear about people killing each other over less these days. Sorry if I was fuzzy on that. 

MadHatter's picture

Hey, Murphy. I don't know if I'd call BM a unicorn. Lol She's not nearly THAT special. DH and BM aren't divorced. They were never married. I'm DH's first wife. SD was the result of a 2 week fling. They absolutely hate each other, but they do communicate about SD a lot, even though they rarely agree on anything.

MadHatter's picture

Still no answer when DH calls their phones. He just got dressed and walked out the door to go to their house. This is probably all for nothing, but at least he'll know. 

MadHatter's picture

DH came back home about 11:15 last night. It's a 30 minute drive to their house from ours. SD called when he was almost there. Apparently, they've been fighting a lot since the rings went out the window. She didn't want him to come to her house because she said things were a wreck and didn't want him to see. She says that there's nothing physical going on. He insisted that she put SIL on the phone. She didn't want them talking until he told her that he was going to come to her house anyway if she didn't. So, she reluctantly had him talk to DH. They're both still alive. They've been fighting over who is taking what when they separate. SIL verified that there's nothing physical going on as well. She did scratch his arms with her nails, but he says that he's fine, and they're trying to work out the arrangements. Then, SIL told DH that he'd really like to work it out but he'd do whatever she wanted in the end. She had REALLY better hang onto this poor guy. She'll never find another one that will put up with her crap!

Rags's picture

Make sure to get the message to STBXSSIL to be sure to have the value of the tossed rings put on SD's side of the asset column on the divorce spread sheet.  That should be included in her half so his half will go up by the value of the tossed rings.

A friend of my parents used  this tactic in his divorce. He had given a notable jewelry collection to his XW over the years and he wanted to be sure the value of that jewelry was noted as being on her side of the divorce balance sheet.  She was pisssssssed!  The appraised value was in the low 6 figures which ultimately gave him a much bigger slice of the cash assets.

SSIL might benefit from this tactic.