Martyr Update
Well here's an update: I'd been having problems with wife on disability allowing her teen kid to call the shots and drop out of high school,play video games and smoke weed all day. I put my foot down and split in August,and after a couple months of talking she claimed that he got his diploma and was off the weed. Then probably like an idiot I agreed to return on a contingency basis that they're gonna get things moving instead of sitting home like lumps every day letting life waste away while I was the one out busting my azz working.
Well I get back and I'm still seeing signs of old things,I think they're just doing a better job of covering it up. They might think it's working but it's only gonna go back to the same thing.
He also claims he's got one foot out the door now too and has a plan to move within a couple months,I just think it's all hot air. So far the only change I've seen is the GED diploma...no job prospects or really trying. Sure she shows me a token application every so often but he continues to show no motivation. I just don't see how he's going to change his ways all of a sudden.
He'll be 20 freakin years old this year and from what I see,he's going to try to milk mommy for as long as he can...while hating stepdad because he actually has the nerve to try and have a say in this family.
What a joke,am I a martyr or what...what am I putting up with this for?
Have you talked to your wife
Have you talked to your wife about a move out date for your SS. Set a hard date when he needs to be out, job or no job.
My Skids are only 9 & 11 and I've told my SO many times that I WILL NOT allow a grown children to live off me. I will leave him before that happens.
As Dr. Phil would say, I'm not asking myself why SS hasn't moved out. I'm asking why would he want to? He has no responsibility but has the advantages of someone with a full time job.
As you say, he already hates you, kick his ass out!
My oldest sister and her
My oldest sister and her hubby told their kids that at 18, they had to move out UNLESS they went to college fulltime OR got a job and paid rent. 2 have college degrees, 1 worked, then married last year. 1 joined the Army, did a couple of tours, got out, got married, put his wife through college, and is now getting his degree.
Yes we've talked quite a few
Yes we've talked quite a few times,but she's too much of a sap for his con games to do anything. Supposedly she feels torn,but I think she's just placating me while catering to sonny boy as long as he wants. I've mentioned quite a few times deadlines for such things. Surprisingly I didn't even say he had to leave...but he does have to get off his dopey azz and at least get a job...and if he gets too cocky yes he should get a taste of what it's like not being coddled by his sap family.
The deal was we were going to
The deal was we were going to work on cleaning up the house and moving this year...unless it's just another stall tactic. In which case the 2nd time will be the charm;
Don't fund someone elses
Don't fund someone elses vacation life style. I think releaving is your best bet.
I'm probably a sap to a
I'm probably a sap to a degree....
We've played that chess game
We've played that chess game already...I moved out,made him step up to the plate. She made all kinds of promises upon my return...I'm holding them to it with deadlines in place.
I would not have moved back
I would not have moved back in until he had moved out.
Yes, please hold them to the deadline.
The whole thing is just sick
The whole thing is just sick from the start,including the fact his auntie sends him money every week(more funding) and it goes towards the weed. She's another enabler and doesn't even know it^