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Not going to bother

ETexasMom's picture

MSD (the one who told me I wasn't invited to Christmas and didn't include me in any family pictures or sit with family at her wedding) sent me what she wants me to make for her baby shower. Very intricate crocheted doll. I would have to buy the pattern and 8 different colors for it. Not to mention it is a doll so lots of sewing on different pieces.

In the past when I have made stuff for SDs they have made rude comments, thrown on the floor, or just not even bothered to take home with them. Currently I have a large order, 4 shirt orders, and a store I have booth in. I have no desire to set aside paying customers to spend two weeks making her a doll. I told Dh today it would be way cheaper to buy her one anyway. I feel mean because I'm such a people pleaser but I have no desire to go all out spend so much time on someone who has treated me so badly.

JadeMom's picture

I wouldn't even buy her one. If DH wants to, he can go ahead.

You'd be losing money because you'd be putting off (what I assume is) paying projects for customers who appreciate it/respect how much work goes into that kind of stuff.

On top of that,you KNOW she won't appreciate it, know that she couldn't care less how much time and money it costs you.

I'd say to tell DH to tell her that the doll won't be possible. Nope. No way!

Something that special and intricate is a gift that should be treasured! If there is any doubt in your mind that she won't appreciate it, then don't subject yourself to that.

On an aside, I'm curious. Would you mind sharing the link to the pattern? (If there is one?)

JadeMom's picture

Wow, that's so rude of her.

That's so much yarn, I bet it cost a lot to make (not to mention how long!) I'm a slow crocheter, so that would have taken me a lifetime!

Definitely don't waste any more time making things for people who don't appreciate your hard work!

Just wanted to add - My great-grandmother crocheted a lot, as well. She crocheted me a "baby blanket" when I was born.

The reason I put it in quotes is because this "baby" blanket is HUGE. Like 7-8 feet long. I still use that baby blanket today. It's heavy and warm and I feel so snuggly in it. I love it! My great grandmother made a lot of beautiful afghans and blankets that I, my siblings, parents, cousins, etc still have today. And they're all in great shape! My great grandmother passed away about 20 years ago, I think it's amazing how we still have so many beautiful things to remember her by.

It also makes me want to crochet humongous blankets for my kids/future grandkids.

JadeMom's picture

This. I was thinking the same thing. If she wanted you to crochet something, why didn't she pick something a little more original? (Not that it's not cute, but still...)

CANYOUHELP's picture

Yeah, I have learned the hard way that trying to please people who refuse to be pleased is a personal and emotional disaster for me, and me alone. I get a lot more respect by doing nothing, exactly what they do. At the very least, I respect myself a whole lot more.

strugglingSM's picture

Well, isn't she quite bold. Not only is she putting in requests for her baby shower, but she's expecting someone she's burned in the past to just pony up when she wants something.

I'd ignore her, too...although probably feel a bit mean, too, just because that's how I was raised.

notasm3's picture

"Ignore the whore"

Just ignore the request. Me - I'd get a b*tching perverse pleasure out of NOT giving her something she wanted.

SS's GF asked for a Keurig for her birthday a couple of years ago. I just totally ignored it. I think she got something that cost about $15.

When the GF had their baby I was not included in anything - but I sent several modest presents (it was just before Christmas). She bitched about how cheap we were as her parents bought literally thousands of dollars of stuff for the kid. Hell her mother even bought her a house.

still learning's picture

So are you "on call" when you're needed? Go away during weddings and holidays but please spend weeks making me something I want. The entitlement attitude is just ridiculous.

DaniAM73's picture

I agree with everyone's post. Make your money and let DH purchase any gift he chooses to buy. You do not ever have to allow anyone to mistreat you. I know it feels mean, been there done that, but trust me you will save yourself hurt feelings in the end.

Thumper's picture

Soooooooooooo sorry, I suggest you ask someone else. Cant do it. My answer is no.

Lemonygirl's picture

Don't you dare do that for her. I crochet and know the time and effort involved. Let your DH Handle all gifts and just sign both names.

SacrificialLamb's picture

....or he can just sign his name. My OSD made it clear I was not part of her family. Message received; I granted her wish and have not seen her enchanted family in 2 years. With that family ousting comes consequences.....I am not part of the family so DH handles all gift giving - definitely not his strength - all by himself. Signs his name because his youngest grandchild likely doesn't even remember me by now.

notasm3's picture

SS's babymamma has no clue that I crochet or that I made dozens of afghans for the children of my friends. She probably wouldn't care anyways as all she wanted is $$$$ to buy stuff she wants. She doesn't give a damn about anything except for $$$$ and her being able to access my assets (my homes and vacation homes).

She's an utter worthless POS as is DH's SS32. I am so glad that they are both "dead to me". I don't give a sh*t if they are dead or alive.

I am so thankful that my DH does not pressure me to do otherwise. Of course he would love for it all to be "okay" but he acknowledges the reality of the situation.

No Name's picture

I am still learning as far as the steps are concerned. I just saw something the other day and thought what a perfect Christmas gift it would be for OSD and her husband but then I tell myself no, no, no.
I have in the past made plans to be out of town during any and all bridal showers and baby showers. I know how they feel about me so why invite me.
I was invited and then disinvited to OSD's baby shower. They were sure to tell me that I could still send a gift. Stupid to disinvite me. I wouldn't have gone anyway and sent a gift. That time I saved on a gift too. Now they are just putting it out there that I am not welcome. Well if I am not welcome and you are letting everyone know that then I am certainly not sending a gift.
Listen to everyone on here. If you are not "family" at Christmas or during the wedding photo's (neither was I) then you and your time and money are not family now. Just simply state that due to your existing work load you will be unable to do it or just ignore the request all together.

hereiam's picture

Why would you even think about doing this for someone who completely excludes you and is disespectful?

I would have stopped this crap a long time ago.

enuf's picture

It may be being very passive-agressive ploy on her part to get you to do all the work when she will probably be donating it or throwing it away. Or she may want you to feel important by making something for her. Who wouldn't want to make something for the princess.