"I am not responsible for fixing everything for my kids. I am not responsible for their happiness. You're bored? Okay. That's your choice. What are YOU going to do about YOUR boredom? Your brother is irritating? Well, welcome to life. People are irritating. What are YOU going to do so that you can enjoy your day even when other people don't do what you want them to do? Instead of controlling your brother, what can you do to control your own reaction?

I am here to be a resource, to give you tools, to teach you. But I am not here to make sure everything goes perfectly and solve every problem--real or perceived--that you have. If you just want to whine, complain and have me fix your problems, you've come to the wrong place. But if you are ready to problem solve and work on controlling yourself, I am fully on board and will give you my energy."

I know not all of this applies to adult skids, but I think the parts about controlling one's reaction to people who annoy them for whatever reason and the last paragraph really hit home for adult skids. And I think a lot of SMs and their adult skids would be better off if Dad repeated the last paragraph to said skids. Many of these skids know on some level that they have a problem/problems. But they cannot bring themselves to address them in healthy ways. They are masters of whining and complaining.

What they really need is time and space to work their problems out, for people to tell them their behavior is unacceptable, and that there will be no contact with them until they know they are working their problems out, and on themselves. When that point arrives, they will be ready to re-engage/work with them on developing a healthy relationship. But until then, there won't be contact.

Learning to control my own reactions has served me well. Let's face it, most kids aren't great at that. But with practice, I have become a better person for it. It was such a waste of time for me to try to control others when I could have been doing more rewarding things for myself.
My relationship with my dad is awesome. I no longer feel the need to get involved when my stepmother verbally assaults him. He's a big boy who can fend for himself.