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SD and her DS came over last night, what is wrong with me?

trystme's picture

I've never felt hatred in my heart for anyone and it is disturbing to see this side of myself. I want to take the high road and be a cordial and curtious host when they come to our house but I just can't do it anymore. In the past, I've always been the one to buy the Christmas and bithday gifts, to plan the meals on their birthdays, make sure they had a cake but this past
Christmas I did absolutely zero and DH did all of their gifts, etc. Now, when they come over I completly ignore them.

Yesterday was SD's son's 9th birthday. Dh e-mailed me yesterday to let me know that they were coming over to have pizza and cupcakes. Dh took care of the whole thing including spending $100 on video games. He knows I won't do it any longer. Then the whole time they were there I completely ignored them. I didn't eat with them. I watched TV and did my own thing. I must have had a sour puss on my face.

Now, I feel terible about it because it isn't like me to act this way. I feel like I am stooping to her level. Yet, I can no longer force myself to act as though I do not loathe her.

The only reason that they came over was to receive the gifts. Then after he opened them he asked how much it all cost. They were only there for 1.5 hours but it seems like all night.

My DD's 11th birthday is on Sunday. So DD asked her 1/2 sister if she was getting her anything for her birthday and SD said "we will come over on Sunday and spank you a bunch of times" and laughed. I thought that my dd was being sarcastic by asking about her own gift b/c she knows that SD has never once bought anything for her or her father. Not so much as a card. But, when I talked to DD about it she said that she wasn't kidding and that she was serious when she asked SD what she was going to get her for her 11th bd. I told her not to expect anything.

As SD was leaving she said "we will see you on Sunday." I do not expect her to come over although I am sure that DD would like it, I would hate it.

jojo68's picture

You're done...stick a fork in it done and there is nothing wrong with you...you're human and tired of letting people treat you like crap and walk all over you and your family...I totally understand.

Superstopmommy's picture

Oh that is so sad for DD Sad She craves a relationship with her SS.
I sometimes do not want to interact with my step.. it is okay to feel that way. I am of the notion, If i don't really like you why put on a fake happy face. Don't feel bad we have all been there. sometimes as adults we do need to suck up our feelings and go on with life.

Kes's picture

A couple of years ago I got tired of pretending to be OK with two SDs who have always treated me badly - I have been in their lives for nearly 10 years and it has worn me down. Also I have got older so I am more comfortable that my own feelings and views are as valid as anyone's.

DH now knows I don't like his teenage daughters. I tolerate and am civil to them for his sake, but if they play up at the dinnertable I get up and walk out. I have been disengaged for the last 8 years. He is sad things are this way, as he gets on great with my bio daughters who are in their late 20's. But they have always been sweet to him.

I can understand exactly where you're coming from - I too don't like to think of myself as a sour, mean person, and I wasn't with anyone until they and their foul NPD BM showed up in my life. They have messed with my karma, big time! Try not to feel guilty about it - some SKIDS would truly try the patience of a saint. I am not big on religion, but I have a feeling that the Universe was saying to me "ha ha - you think you're a good person, huh? Try THIS for size!"