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SD dropped in when she saw a str nge vehicle in the drveway.

chickadee1444's picture

Last Friday,2 cousins from out of town were invited for a BBQ at our house. I haven't seen them in a couple of years.
His daughter never stops by for a visit with me and her father.She talks to him outside or in his garage, never comes in the house for a chat with both of us.
So she see's the strange vehicle and barges right in, right in the middle of a conversation and plunks herself down at the picnic table.Before I could indroduce her she said" Hi "I'm Mary" I guess if "she" isn't going to introduce me , I will introduce myself.
"My cousins and I were talking about our family tree and they were asking me questions.I was also showing them old photos.
She was obnoxious and the center of attention as always., talking( more like yelling) about everything, but the topic on hand.My cousins and I tried to talk and the SD acted like we were not even there as she spoke with her father about her kids, work , whatever came to mind..She is very, very loud and so we could not even carry on talking.My looked at me with a look of disbelief with her rudeness. I am pretty sure my husband mentioned to her that my cousins were coming for a BBQ the night before.
The thing was, my male cousin had to leave early to get back to the city for work, so our time was limited. I was seething and said nothing..I wish I had , but did not want to start a war with her in front of my family.
I would never think of dropping into her home if I saw a strange car in the driveway..or I would call first.She stayed about an hour or so and only left when I said I needed to go in the house to get the food to put on the BBQ adn she had to get home she said.
Am I wrong for feeling this way, that I just wanted to spend some time with my cousins without her interrupting and taking over?

Mindygirl1's picture

This was her way of basically marking her territory...like a Cat peeing on your furniture to mark the area. She was rude and there is pretty much nothing you can do about it. You really cannot teach her manners at this point. She was just trying to prove it was DADDYs house and she had a right to be there. My SD used to drive by my house when her father was in Baghdad & Afghanistan and let everyone in the family know a "Strange Car" was in the driveway...oooooooh... Puhhhlease.... LOL

chickadee1444's picture

LOL..Thanks for your comment.I was beginning to think I was in the wrong again.This woman acts like a 10 year od, she's 48..sorry for your trouble making SD

Orange County Ca's picture

I have had no problem reminding my kids that they MUST call ahead before visiting just as I do for them.

Even if you find yourself just down the street at a retail store. That's what cell phones are for.

Remind your husband of that.

chickadee1444's picture

Thank you..but I don't think he'll listen..it's going to need to be me and it won't be pretty.If I say anything, his daughter jumps all over me and thinks ( like her father) that I am just being petty.My kids always call..always.I was reminded that this girl has come and gone all her life as she pleases, including her kids, going to be hard to change old habits.

imthewife's picture

How did she just "happen" to be in the neighborhood? DH must have tipped her off.

That was ridiculous behavior from a grown woman. What an ass.

We live very close to many relatives and would NEVER dream of just barging in on a get together that we were not invited too.

chickadee1444's picture

she lives down the Street..drives by every morning and every evening , to an from work or wherever she's going..

Poodle's picture

Just warn absolutely all your guests in private that this may happen and that if it does, they should immediately either ask you to come out with them to another venue or you/they should suggest going and talking about private business in another part of the house. You need to forewarn them so they play their part and it all goes smoothly. For example, in such a situation my OSD24 would have the gall to follow us round the house if I rose to my feet, whereas if the guest said, "Oh Poodle, I need to speak to you in private" or whatever, in a breezy voice, even she would not tag after us.
appalling. :sick:

chickadee1444's picture

Thanks for you comment..I think I need to be more forward like she is ..maybe go to her house and act like she does.ask her why she bought this or that and why..
she found out I was making meat pies for her dad..next thing I know she brings over meat pies that she made to put in the freezer for him..guess he bragged about his wifes cooking to her..her meat pies are not great, but daddy of course tells her they are..I am a good cook, but she has to think she is better than me..this is no competion just pure jealousy.Christmas 2 of my kids and family were here.Hers were invited..had a fairly good time..I asked how the stuffing was..she said "it was alright"..my kids bragged about it, but she can't bring herself to say anything nice to me..becaseu I guess, I am not her mother..
I feel sorry for her because we could be friends, but she chooses not to be..not my problem.