SD stole from our home and destroyed our property
My adults stepdaughter is 31. She came up for the week for Christmas and spent the entire time going through all of our closets and drawers and taking what she wanted. I asked her to stop, but she never stopped. I just discovered today that she took a knife to my new dining room table. This is the first nice dining room table I've had in my entire adult life. And I made the mistake of saying how much I liked it in front of her. And now it is scratched to hell and gone.
She stole framed photos off of our walls and out of the office that we have in our home. She would get up in the middle of the night and rifle through the drawers in the living room. I suppose she was either looking for drugs or money. The worst part is that my husband is in complete denial about it! I don't even feel safe having her in our home again. I told him that there was no way she was ever spending another night in this house. She can come during the day if there are other people around, including her fiancé to supervise her. I knew she hated me, but this is way too much husband and I've been fighting about this since it happened.
I fear we will divorce because of it. I'm ready for whatever happens. But I'm really upset.
Go down to your local police
Go down to your local police station with a list of what she stole from you and photos of your dining room table - before and after. Ask them if you have grounds to go after her for theft and if there's any way yoiu can protect yourself (restraining order) from a repeat performance.
And do not give a damn about what your husband believes or what he thinks you should (not) do - you already know he's an enabler.
^^This.
^^This.
Your husband is weak as water. I would have zero respect for him after this.
Find yourself some shark attorneys. For the RO and divorce.
Might as well. Her husband
Might as well. Her husband has shown that he either doesn't give a crap about OP's sense of safety in her own home or he is too mentally impaired or unbalanced himself to know what's going on. It sucks to know you can't trust your partner to even do the basic things involved in being a partner.
Get To the Police Station
As WinterGlow said....file the RO...see if you can file charges. Your SD is like this because of her father. A man that canNOT see this isn't just in denial, he doesn't care what she does. From what you describe, she's a drug addict. Don't let that woman in your home again. If nothing more, get the RO. Tell your DH he can go with her if he doesn't like it.
Call him on it. If it wasn't
Call him on it. If it wasn't SD then you need to report it immediately. somoeone stole from your home and vandalized your property. Go down to the police station and make a report. Call homeowner's and get it covered.
Do you own the home
Or just living there? It's up to your SO to stop this. But why do you want pictures the ex bought and decorated the home. ?
If you legally have right to this house and the items were bought by you or SO in your relationship.. Callthe police and report it.
Then start making a exit plan I am sure your marriage is doomed if you have SD Arrested
This is why
This is why SD24 Feral Forger is called Feral Forger. She steals. Who cares why. And she trashes every place that she has ever lived in...
We are no contact currently, which suits me fine.
I would take this up strongly with your husband. This is your HOME, it is your sanctuary, so, he needs to keep little miss TakeEverythingICan away from you and your sanctuary.
Meanwhile start listing the stuff thats missing, and file a report. If husband wants to insist it was not LMT then someone did, and you should file that report (and see how fast he admits it was HER). Then stand up strong and insist he see her outside your Sanctuary.
DO NOT
Allow her back in your home regardless of who she is with or who is around. Why didn't you throw her stuff out on the lawn when she started stealing? I'm not asking that in a judgmental way but I'm wondering if she is a frightening person? Yes, I would strongly let your DH know she's never permitted in YOUR home again. If he pushes back, call her yourself and let her know you will take legal action. Then go talk with an attorney. How far away does she live from you?
Call the police and engage
Call the police and engage and attorney to hound this POS SD to hell and gone. Never stop. File an RO/PO and keep her far from you and your home. Daddy, if he feels like splashing around in his shallow and polluted shit puddle of a gene pool with his festering spawn, can do it elsewhere.
Let DH know that while he will tolerate this POS SD, you will not.
Let DH know that your lives together are your safe harbor and SD is the enemy at the gates. Make sure he knows how disappointed you are that he does not defend your home, your marriage, himself, and you from her.
Then tell him after the fact that you have initiated legal and criminal action against SD, that there is an RO/PO in place and you will not stop until she returns every stolen item and re-emburses the cost of repair for all damage she caused. The RO/PO should never stop, even if she does the penitents 1000 mile appology tour crawl on her bare knees.
Keep it stupid simple for him and her. KISS
I am so sorry that your holiday was invaded by his festering failed family breeding stench.
Take care of you.
This is outrageous. I'm so
This is outrageous. I'm so sorry this happened. I made a rule several years ago over behavior that didn't even come close to this (yes, I broke the rule 3x over a period of 12 years; you think kids are going to mature or evolve): Not in my house. (After the most recent "visit," the rule was reinstated--skids not allowed here ever again.) DH first had to admit that I (and therefore he) was being disrespected.
At the VERY LEAST, you should say to your husband that HE needs to get your pictures back (along with anything else she stole); he needs to get the table professionally repaired/resurfaced; and he needs to tell the monster that she is never allowed to step foot in your home again.
I felt like crying when I read about the table--the action of her scratching it because she knows you value it. If your DH is too cowardly to confront her himself, then you should. Enough is enough!
OP; what do you mean that
OP; what do you mean that your husband is in denial about this? Does he think someone else broke in and stole your stuff, ruined your table, and rifled through your drawers and closets? If this is the case head for the police station and file charges immediately! Your husband thinks you had a break-in so treat it as one.