SD texts a nastygram to DH's coworker by accident...
As a continuation of the drama unfolding from my previous post, DH goes to work yesterday morning when his co-worker calls him over and said that he got a text the night before that he had to show DH. DH looks at it and it's from SD19 - thinking that the number she was texting was DH's cell phone number because it was the phone that husband had used when calling SD's commander back.
The text message was true to her witchy, passive agressive style, but she stated that the message that she had received was intended for another private with the same last name. She said that she was "sorry for disturbing" DH, that she was told that her mom called and to call her mom back so she decided that she would "put aside their differences and do just that". (Not sure why she was trying to call DH as opposed to trying to track down BM if that was the case. She knows DH would be the LAST person on earth BM would ever contact.) She ended her text with a nice slap in the face which is VERY reminiscent of MIL and attacked our faith by saying "I'll leave you to your good Christian ways and not bother you any more."
While there's a ton I could write on this, my main question is this: How many times are SD19 and MIL going to threaten DH with the "I won't bother you anymore" or "I'll never contact you again!" before they actually do it??? SD and MIL have both said this time and time again in text messages and letters to DH, but they keep reaching out to him even though he hasn't responded - like they're still waiting for a response. DH and I always thought that sooner or later they'd realize that he's not responding and give up, but apparently not. SD has barely heard from DH in almost a year and hasn't heard one iota from him for almost a full 8 months. How long before they finally give up and just leave us alone??? :?
It sounds like attention
It sounds like attention seeking behavbior, just keep on ignoring them! Even the most dense people get the message eventually!
SA, I agree whole heartedly
SA, I agree whole heartedly with the whole getting "LOCKED in the mentality that they have been wronged" statement. For some reason, all 3 SDs are this way as is MIL and a good portion of my in laws because they all seem to follow MIL. I don't know why MIL always seems to want DH to "pay" for whatever percieved wrong she thinks he has done. The only explanation I can think of is that MIL had told DH (with me and others present at the time) about his conception and it was clear that DH was not planned and not wanted - but she "loved him so much" that she wasn't about to "give him up."
All 3 SDs (even with 2 different mothers) as well as his ex wife are fixated on making my husband "pay" for different reasons. Ex wife for "ruining her life" (how, we'll never know.) OSD for DH not being there when she was growing up even though her BM was almost 30 at the time and DH was barely 16 and BM wouldn't allow DH to even be on the birth certificate or allow any contact (afraid of being labeled as a child molester?). MSD wants DH to pay for "tearing the family apart" when DH tried to go for custody of both MSD and YSD from ex wife when it came out that they were being molested by their mother's BF for 2.5 years - with her knowledge. YSD (the one who is currently in the Army), for DH allowing me to "kick her out" of our house and not "defend her" against me doing so. Lastly, I think the bulk of DH's family (both sides) wants him to "pay" because YSD told all of them (and MIL furthered supported this lie) that the whole reason that DH wants nothing to do with YSD is because he "doesn't agree with her joining the Army" - which doesn't explain why he stopped talking to her months before she ever enlisted or why he remains a huge supporter of our military, but nobody seems to care - just blind rage against DH fueled by relational aggression.
The only saving grace in all of this is that DH has become so accustomed to this behavior from others for so long that it's basically become a matter of it just rolling off of his back so to speak. By contrast, while my family is far from perfect, I've never seen family treat each other like this. I've been told by people that there has always been "in-fighting" within DH's family - even back from when DH was little and long before I ever entered the picture and that the reason that their behavior bothers me so much and why I can't understand it is because I can't "think so low".
DH doesn't mind not having a relationship with pretty much anyone in his family because his thinking is that if his family members don't know him well enough to believe him over SD & MIL's lies given all of their histories, that as you had said, there is "no foundation to build on". How DH can walk away (seemingly) unscathed so easily is beyond me - and others. One of my DH's best friends couldn't understand how my DH can handle all of this and finally said that my DH has to be one of the toughest guys he's ever met.
Meanwhile, I swear I feel like I'm living in a nightmare episode of a Jerry Springer show.
I'm hoping that maybe DH
I'm hoping that maybe DH won't see the uptick around the holidays this year because SD seems to be thoroughly convinced somehow that DH's coworker's number is somehow actually DH's new cell number. SD had tried calling both my cell phone and DH's cell phone the other night which neither of us had answered since we didn't recognize the number. As we recently ported our numbers over to a new carrier, the new carrier's general VM message came on which probably threw SD off. I'm betting that SD tried calling the old home number which I had disconnected months ago because we switched to a different service there as well - that probably threw her off too. I don't know why SD never picked up on that as the number that she was texting her nastygram to didn't match any number that she had tried calling the night before, how in the world she would have figured that her father could possibly have found out that she was trying to call him in the first place. Maybe she's just blinded by her anger and hatred for us? According to DH, the coworker didn't respond to SD's text message at all. Wow - I'm hoping that DH's coworker isn't going to see the uptick of nastygrams leading up to the holidays!