SD's big, rude, thoughtless mouth has earned her a death threat from her neighbor's family!

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Let me begin by saying that I don't think it's ok under any circumstances to threaten anyone's life for any reason. I do, however, think that there's a right way and a wrong way to handle every situation. SD (22) ALWAYS tries the WRONG way first.

SD and her BF bought a house several weeks ago. It's a small fixer upper in an area where there are mostly country folks and rednecks that just want to live their lives in peace, but there are some pockets where the druggies live. Of course, she managed to buy a house right in the middle of druggie central because she didn't bother to check it out thoroughly before she jumped at the opportunity.

She's already been made uncomfortable because her neighbors across the street get high (meth, heroine, fentanyl, not sure...whatever happened to old fashioned POT?) and they walk up and down the road muttering to themselves. When they do this, the first thing she does is glare at them, scream from her porch for them to stay away from her house, run inside, and call her daddy. (ME?? I'd wouldn't say a single word and just go inside and call the cops.)

Well, today, tragedy struck. She hears one of her neighbors screaming, "She's dead! She's dead!". SD runs over to see what's going on, and sure enough, there's a girl laying face down in the woods behind her house. The lady picks up a bag that the girl had with her and tosses it into the woods (turns out the bag was full of drugs) and SD, who had her phone with her, calls the police. The lady gets her phone and starts calling the girl's relatives and friends. The police arrive, the friends and relatives arrive, the police complete their investigation, the coroner comes and removes the body.

Well, the excitement is over now, but some of the friends are still milling around in the woods near the edge of SD's property. Some of them are the druggies that she recognized from yelling at them to stay away. Some she's never seen. They're all upset because they've lost their family member, friend, drug dealer, etc. So, SD decides it's time for them to leave. Now, she probably could've waited 15 minutes and they would've dispersed on their own. She could've discretely called the cops back and had them tell them that it was time to go. She probably could've even gone out to them and said, "Hey, I'm so sorry for you loss, and I understand you're grieving, but it's been a long day for all of us, and I need to get some rest. Maybe y'all should go somewhere that you can remember the good times that you had with your friend." But, no, that's not what she did...she stomps out to the grief stricken druggie, redneck, family members and friends that were remaining and says, "Y'all have been her for HOURS, and it's time y'all got off my property!"

It went down hill from there. They were all threatening to beat her up, rob her house, and burn the house to the ground with her in it! Did she call the cops even then? NOPE! She got in her car and LEFT while the grieving, and now threatening, family and friends remained in her yard. She, of course, called her daddy and got his blood pressure all up in a tizzy. She called the BF and told him that she wasn't coming back to the house, EVER, because she's scared. They are going to have to sell it and move somewhere else because of the threats and the fact that there was a dead person behind the house. The BF called her daddy and further riled up his blood pressure because he doesn't know what to do with the house. The BF and her daddy are reluctant to call the police because they weren't there and didn't actually hear the threats with their own ears, and they both know that SD is known to exaggerate, if not outright LIE, so they don't know what to do. It's another fiasco.

Thanks for listening, folks. I'm sure she'll wind up back in the house eventually. She's just got to be the center of attention with her drama for a little while. Moral of the story...don't be a b*tch to everyone in your path.

Wondered what happened to you

Wondered what happened to you lol....

Now disengage woman, do not get involved with her bullshit and attention seeking, so what if she calls Daddy... if he talks to you about it smile and say - you know your daughter Hon, you can tell her she's an adult and needs to deal with her problems. Then change the subject.

Just make sure she does not move in with you

Drama queen. Pure and simple.

Drama queen. Pure and simple. She sounds just like my OSD who engages with other mum's in the playground like this all the time and has an addict for a brother who she thinks she can 'cure' by treating him like a baby.
Acrat is right- take her advice and do not allow her back in. She probably did know what she was getting into, that's why she moved there. Her life is just too dull don't you know without all this stuff? There is only one way to deal with drama queens and that is to sprinkle them with fairy dust and get them to disappear from your life.

Pop corn and pour a big gulp

Pop corn and pour a big gulp and enjoy the circus. Not your problem. This is what I do now.

^^^BWAHAHA!!!! Yes, park down

^^^BWAHAHA!!!! Yes, park down the street and watch the show. Can't wait to hear about Episode 2 of Breaking Bad in the Backyard.

Okay- this made me guffaw out

Okay- this made me guffaw out loud here in my quiet office!

You can fantasize about

You can fantasize about another body (hers) out in that yard.

Hey, Acratopotes. I don't

Hey, Acratopotes. I don't post a lot because I have disengaged, but I do lurk on these boards from time to time. It's only at times when SD does something ultra-stupid that I have to share with you guys. I feel like this was definitely a qualifying event. LOL

I let DH vent to me for about 15 minutes last night, and again today for another 15 or 20 minutes, and then told him that it was time to move away from the subject. Again, I offered no advice or opinions even though I do think she needs to grow up and learn to speak to people more respectfully. I mean, these people were standing on the edge of the woods at the back of her yard not bothering anything. Now, she's gotten herself into a p*ssing match with a bunch of people that don't care about going to jail for drugs, for making threats, or even for carrying out those threats. She should've minded her own business and left those grieving people alone.

She's did go back to the house after the BF got off work, and they contacted a real estate agent who came to their house today. It is already listed for sale since she is too afraid to continue to live there, but wherever she moves, unless she moves to an uninhabited planet, she's going to have neighbors. Some she may like, some she may not. She's going to have to learn to play well with others and mind her own business, but that's not my problem, and I have to wait for DH to realize it's not his either.

StepAside once made a comment

StepAside once made a comment about skids who never have their (wrongheaded) ideas and beliefs challenged being problematic as adults. These cosseted CODs grow up with an inflated sense of their own importance and struggle as adults because the majority of people in the real world aren't going worship them like mommy and daddy do.

I have an adult SD who is like yours - an overbearing, entitled loudmouth with zero people skills. I can't count the number of tantrums this almost 40 y.o. has thrown or times she's talked crap only to have it bite her in the butt. She's a stunted, unpleasant, domineering housewife; a despot in her own tiny kingdom because she can't hack it socially or in a work environment.

Can you imagine how much your SD's behavior is going to co$t? thousands in sunk costs, I'd imagine.

The sad thing about all of

The sad thing about all of this is that she could have shown these people a shred of empathy. Maybe brought them out something to drink, asked what the girls name was and told them to stay as long as they needed to. Instead she was a jerk and got the same treatment in return. Kindness would have cost her very little, her nastiness will come back to haunt her for years to come. I wouldn't be suprised if she decided to move.

It amazes me how many people

It amazes me how many people are willing to buy houses in a trashy areas so they can tell people that "they own a house". I'd rather rent a studio than live in drug infested trashy neighborhoods. To each its own. My OSD lives in a horrible area (one of the worst in
our state) and she is so proud she has a house. She rents it, not even owns. So ridiculous.

Madhatter: Keep us informed

Madhatter: Keep us informed on how the Sale goes.

I wish there was a "like"

I wish there was a "like" button on this site so that I could like every single reply. I will definitely keep you posted on the sale. It's highly doubtful that it will move fast enough to suit SD, and she will just have to live with it.

I think Still Learning hit the nail on the head. If she had shown just a little empathy, she might have saved herself a lot of future trouble and probably a big loss on the sale of the house.

I did just listen to DH spend an hour arguing with BM about what she needs to do with the situation she's gotten herself into. I wanted to say, "She got herself into it, let her get herself out.", but I figured I would be breaking my vow of disengagement. So, I just kept on cooking dinner and kept my opinion to myself.

Thank you all for being here and keeping me somewhat sane.

Good Job! I know, your jaws

Good Job!

I know, your jaws hurt, when keeping that vow of disengagement. My jaws hurt from clamping my mouth shut, but it is so worth it!

Stay here and we'll continue to work at it.

Keep us posted.

Thought I would share the

Thought I would share the most recent conversation I had with DH regarding SD.

He calls around lunchtime and says that he just spoke to SD. She asked him, "What does SM think about all this?" He replied, "She hasn't said much besides she thinks you could've handled it better." (Which is true, and that's about all I have said. ) SD says, "I f'ing hate her!" (She tells him that ALOT,and for some reason, he feels compelled to tell me every time.) So, I asked him, "Why do you think you need to tell me every time she says something like that? Do you think it matters to me that she hates me, and why does she care what I think? I don't think about her at all until you force me to."

His reply, "She doesn't hate you, she hates herself, and she's looking for someone to take her side and back her up. She knows you're a strong woman with your act together. She really wants you to be a part of her life because you're a part of my life."

I said, "Well, the next time she says she hates me you immediately tell her that I really don't care what she thinks, and that I never ask what her opinion may be concerning anything I do."

Should I feel bad because, for some reason, I do. I dont want to hurt DH, but I'm not putting myself out there to be SD's doormat ever again.

She knows you're a strong

She knows you're a strong woman with your act together. She really wants you to be a part of her life because you're a part of my life."

No, HE wants you to be a part of his daughter's life and wishes that she was a strong woman, like you.

Why would you feel bad? His daughter tells him that she hates you and he says what to her in response to that?

"No, HE wants you to be a

"No, HE wants you to be a part of his daughter's life and wishes that she was a strong woman, like you."

THIS!!

The truth is that she does hate you. She straight up said she did. His excuses and reasoning and trying to pretend his daughter is a better person are the reasons she's in the mess she's in!

Stay disengaged and walk away whenever he brings her up. If he demands you listen to his stories about her just ask if she is still saying she hates you. If the answer is yes, but . . . Walk away.

No, you should not feel bad

No, you should not feel bad at all. You have to ask yourself why DH has such a need to tell you what SD says about you - AND what he is telling her about you. "She knows you're a strong woman with your act together. She really wants you to be a part of her life because you're a part of my life." Now-- does that sound like someone who just said, "I f'ing hate her!"? Or does it sound like someone who is making up a story to make you feel guilty? The very best thing you could have done, in my opinion, is just what you did - let him know you don't give a rip what SD thinks of you - and you asked him why he had to tell you what she said.

If you had a relative who said mean things about your DH would you repeat what the person said to DH? There was a time when my Sister told me about some of the things she did not like about DH. I just replied, "Hmm" and never repeated her words to DH. There was absolutely no good reason to do it other than creating a wider gap in their communications with each other. My Sister learned that I would not get involved in the drama she was trying to create. It fizzled out.

So, there has to be something your DH is getting out of this, and it doesn't sound as if he has your best interests in mind. Sometimes DHs stroke their egos by imagining that the two most important women in their lives are fighting over him. If he wants to share another 'conversation' with SD just say, "Oh, spare me" or "Another time" and walk away.

"So, there has to be

"So, there has to be something your DH is getting out of this, and it doesn't sound as if he has your best interests in mind. Sometimes DHs stroke their egos by imagining that the two most important women in their lives are fighting over him."

^^Yup, they are *put in the middle* of their wife and child and there's nothing they can do about it (so they say)! DH pulled this w/ss32 for years. ss32 thought I should be a better mother, DH had to come tell me. ss kept pointing out reasons why I hated him, DH ran home and told me. ss said I was stealing DH and money from their family, DH returns and reports...and on and on. I got into the cycle of defending myself then trying to bend over backwards to please ss.

It only stopped when I told DH not to tell me anything ss said about me and don't talk to ss about me. When he stopped reporting ss's tattles, I stopped defending myself and now we rarely talk about ss at all.

Oh, this gem of an adult SD

Oh, this gem of an adult SD is going to be good for some great stories and ongoing drama. }:)

Keep us informed please. While I go get a fresh libation and some good munchies to enjoy while I tune into this unfolding train wreck.

Take care of you and your DH and let this toxic whack job learn from her mistakes.

Good luck.

UPDATE #1 on the sale of the

UPDATE #1 on the sale of the house. The house was listed for sale on 8/5/17. On 8/10/17, the house began showing, and the first person that looked at it put in an offer. SD and her BF accepted the offer and started packing in anticipation of the move.

Today, the person withdrew their offer stating that they had learned that the house was in a bad neighborhood, and because they didn't disclose the fact that someone had died on the property, the purchaser was able to walk away from the contract without penalty.

I've always heard that there was a penalty for withdrawing an offer after it had been accepted, but apparently dead bodies are a loop hole.

The disclosure statement is

The disclosure statement is legally binding. There are specific questions on he statement such as the date of the pest inspection or septic cleaning, any rot or termites, any potentially hazardous chemicals, etc. Never heard of having to disclose what type of neighborhood it is or if someone died on the property. The person who owned our present home died here but makes no difference to us. Guess it depends on the state requirements. It sounds like SD might have said something to entice the buyer which was not true.

I usually don't comment, more

I usually don't comment, more seeking insight, But If I were to suggest a reply to " I F____G hate her" it would be "next time tell her I F____G HATE HER TOO!." }:)

LOL...I can totally see how a

LOL...I can totally see how a lot of people would feel the same way, but I don't really hate her. I kind of get a kick out of it because I really don't care one way or the other. When she showed up at my house, screaming and making threats to "go off on me", I would've gladly stomped a hole in her, not because I hated her, but because I would've done it if it had been anyone. She's good for a laugh from time to time because she's so stupid, and she wants to believe that people care enough about her opinion and her feelings that they will do whatever she demands regardless of how impractical it might be. The satisfaction that I get from not being one of the people she can push around brings me great joy, and the fact that it infuriates her even more, brings me greater joy. Plus, she's so angry all the time that she makes her own trouble, and I don't have to do anything but sit back and laugh. I just don't care enough to hate her. That takes energy and allows her space in my head that I don't have to spare.

Hi , I know ,at least in

Hi , I know ,at least in Cali, "a violent crime" in or on the property must be disclosed to a buyer or RENTER, and can back out of a sale or Lease if not disclosed! check it out!

Makes sense. I sold a home

Makes sense. I sold a home in California in the late 80's. We sold a house in Washington State 6 years ago and bought one in Nevada - no mention of dead bodies or violence. Times have changed!

UPDATE #2 on the sale of the

UPDATE #2 on the sale of the house. This is a lesson about 2 kids who won't listen to anyone with life experience before jumping off a cliff.

2 weeks ago, the first contract fell through because the buyer backed out after learning that the house was in a bad neighborhood. When that happened, DH told SD that she should be grateful and should take the house off the market and live there for a while. (She wouldn't even consider it.) Then he told her that, if she was just dead set on moving, she at least needed to go get pre-approved with the bank, find out how much house she could afford, and what the payments would be on the kind of mortgage she would have on the houses she was looking at before she got in over her head. (She's looking at houses that cost $40K more than the house she is selling.) She told DH that he was just stupid. Her real estate agent knew EVERYTHING, according to her, and DH knew absolutely NOTHING, and she didn't need his advice on ANYTHING!

Not even 5 days later, a new buyer comes along, makes an offer contingent on a home inspection, SD and BF accept offer, house passes inspection, buyer obtains financing, and closing date is set for September 29th. SD and BF are thrilled because they have managed to gain a $4K profit on the sale, and they make an offer on a house in a much more desirable location with a much larger price tag.

Fast forward to today! The real estate agent, you remember the one who knew everything? She calls to tell SD and BF that they can't qualify to buy the house they made an offer on. Because, between the time they qualified for the loan on the house they currently own and now, they purchased a new car and added a new payment to their monthly bills, they no longer quality for the $100K that they had been approved for when they bought the house they're in. They now only qualify for a $60K mortgage loan. Let the tears, gnashing of teeth, and screams of agony begin!

Once again, SD has managed to create a fiasco. DH has suggested they try to buy their way out of the contract on their current house, but they don't have the cash on hand to do that, and I'm surprised DH hasn't offered to pay it. He offered to give them 2 acres of land that he owns and let them move a mobile home or manufactured home onto it, but that doesn't suit them either. His last suggestion was that they just move back into an apartment, and we ALL know what happened with the LAST apartment they had!

Will post updates when these 2 geniuses figure out what their next plan will be. I'm assuming that, if they make it through all these hard learned life lessons, they'll eventually come out the other side with a little bit of sense, but I don't want to get my hopes up!

Thanks for the up-date- and

Thanks for the up-date- and are we surprised things aren't going that smoothly? Of course not!I love the way that you are standing back and watching this whole thing unfold, just like the show SD loves to provide for the people in her life.
I hear That my OSD has plans to move (I only hear, as I no longer see or ask about her) so bring on all the drama that will create. Like you, I will just stand by and watch the firework show!

Yes, fairyo, isn't it fun

Yes, fairyo, isn't it fun when you're not involved in any way? If this girl listened to one piece of good advice from her daddy, I might feel a little bit sorry for her, but she just keeps proving to herself how right he is. When it goes like that, you can't help but sit back and enjoy watching her fall on her face.

ANNNNNDDD...the wedding is

ANNNNNDDD...the wedding is off! At least, for right this very minute. He's not enough of a man to suit her, he's changed since they've been living together, when her life is being threatened she doesn't want to have to defend her p*ssy husband instead of the other way around...blah,blah, blah.

I'm taking bets on how long the wedding stays called off. Until she starts cancelling the venue, the flowers, the food, etc. I'll keep expecting the royal event to take place.