Showdown sat nite
Forums:
Am I wrong to be giving dh crap about going to this party where is ex will be present? The couple having it are old friends of dh and his ex and they mean nothing to me. In fact, early in my marriage the wife shared with me how awful ex and daughters are, yet they still remain friends? WTF..
Dh is angry that I am dreading this.........I have told him point blank I am only putting myself through this for him.
Now it seems I will be held up late at work so he will go alone to get there on time. The whole thing is a fiasco!
I once was invited to a
I once was invited to a party, by mutual friends of mine and my ex wife. Who made it known that exwife was going to be there at the same party.
My DW, (at the time she was my girlfriend) made it perfectly clear to me that if I went to a party with BM (even with BM in attendance) that I might as well leave with her because DW and I would be done.
I did not understand her hard boundary on attending parties where an ex spouse is. So she spelled it out for me. My XW is caustic. Spent years screaming, yelling and throwing things at me. Belittling me at every opportunity. These 'friends' knew the history, so they were in effect inviting me to a party so I could be abused a bit more. My DW also advised me if I place myself in a position of allowing the abuse again, she would lose all respect for me and she would not be with a man she could not respect.
I did not attend the party.
Good god you have my problem.
Good god you have my problem. I could not figure out if I was being unreasonable or this was common and I just didn't know it. But none of my family mother side nor dad side act like this.
The damn BM would be at my husband family gatherings an I was like why? Because of the kids. It was the most lame excuse I have ever heard. I said that is bull shit. If that is the case then you need to go back to her.
She did not show up for the Christmas and thanksgiving gatherings anymore.
Then a whole new problem up rises when my husband son was getting married. Again she is the mother of the two daughters but not of this son. The son invited the BM of the daughters to his wedding and the ex piece of ass my husband was seeing before meeting me to the wedding . Who I had to put up with two rolls down whispering to her friend that I stole her man.... Oh my god. I never knew her I just knew she existed at one. I have lost total respect of the son fars I care he can keep skipping us and go straight to his ex step mom house.
The sister to my husband has already expressed how much she loves the BM and express she will always be family and Basically said the family does not recognize our marriage. I am glad we moved 6hrs away from them.
My family treated him like family.
He has pretty much disengage from a biggest part of his family.
His son treats him like shit. I figure in do time when my hubby has no more materialistic stuff to give the son will quit communicating and keep going to the ex stepmothers house just to piss his father off. She clearly calls her self the grandmother of his kids and clearly states she is family... Whatever..
I hear you stepaside. I
I hear you stepaside. I need to remind myself that mercifully I am the outsider....in his extended family, in dealings with the pack! and even this party. The people there are all from his past life with his ex. Maybe that should make me feel protected somehow. I can go there and just observe. It us m
I would be livid.
I would be livid.
And I can't turn the tables
And I can't turn the tables on him because WE are friendly with my ex. He is present for all
Functions. Sigh ..........life is so much better when people put aside differences and act like grown ups..
So..........I will endure tomorrow night, and stay in the shadows.......drinking my wine and observing
If you go, make sure you look
If you go, make sure you look absolutely fabulous and muster up all the flirting etc you can do with your hubby at the time, although I'd probably want to rip his throat out for it.
I can't believe how much pure
I can't believe how much pure evil is done in the name of "the children".
Update: I forgot that party
Update: I forgot that party was tonight! And no I did not go........I did intend to,,but something came up with my job and dh went himself. He had a fabulous time, chatting with old friends. Me? I worked and am relaxing at home.. So it worked out well for both of us. I did not inquire about dh's ex, what does it matter?
Hopefully I will not have to lay eyes on the witch until.......never???? Lol...
My DH and I dicussed this
My DH and I dicussed this post. He said if the family invited the BM and expected the DH to come (with or without his present wife), the family is not showing respect for the present wife or DH's marriage. He added the DH should not go. I agree. Another poster pointed out that BM is no longer part of DH's family. If my DH's family invited his ex to a party where we both were expected to attend, I would raise holy hell. It's just not right. Period.
I find these to be the
I find these to be the perfect opportunities to rub the X's noses in our superior life, marriage and careers. Toxic people are like cockroaches that run for dark corners when the lights are thrown on in a dark roach filled room.
I like being the light and when necessary stomping on the cockroaches.
Quality people gravitate to the light, toxic dipshits run from it. So be the light. Dress to the 9's, radiate how happy you are and let the idiots cringe and hide in the shadows. Plan responses to the most likely toxic barbs that the opposition tends to throw. It is most likely that the planned responses will not be needed but it is good to have them prepped just in case. Responses like 'Wow, I am sorry to hear that you life is so miserable and pathetic that you think you need to make up untrue and snarky comments about ours.' tend to get the toxic dipshits to wilt and STFU. Be happy, laugh and socialize, be confident and be on your DH's arm so he feels your support.
At least that is how I play these situations.
Have fun at the roach stomp!