I would like to see the marriage license and certificate that says you married them all. Both the counselor and the mooch need to be kicked to the curb.

Oh, and as luck would have it, tomorrow is next month.

Disengaging won't help with this almost middle aged man living in your house.

Find a inexpensive bachelor apartment and move into it. Yes you. Tell your wife that until the kid is gone you're not coming back. Tell her its not a divorce but a separation until she makes her kid stop acting like a 16 year old. Make absolutely sure you don't be angry when you tell her this - a simple statement of thee fact that you've had it and you're gone until she gets him squared away.

If after 6 months passes he's still there file for a Legal Separation which legally separates your finances. It might shock her into reality. If after another six months passes then get a full divorce.

Or admit defeat and move back into his house. Yes his - because he'll rule until Mama dies.

I'd say charge the grown adult some rent money that you put into an account and when it reaches enough give it to him and say "here is first months rent and security deposit" get out but if you can't get your wife on board, that won't work. The best you can do is get yourself out of there. I have no idea how you have lasted this long.

First, that counselor is not objective. Did your wife find him/her? Did your wife go to this counselor for a time before you were invited? At any rate, you may need to go to two or three counselors before you find a good fit. They are NOT supposed to "take sides".

This guy will not leave. He has it great. He has NO motivation to leave and your wife has no motivation to get him out of there. So you have to develop options for your sanity and health. Some have been given to you on this forum.

So what are the house rules in place for these adults living there? Was there anything discussed at all or was it just "move in and stay as long as you like"? If some expectations were set in place at the beginning, then it is time to talk to wife about it and set up consequences for these expectations being met. You should not have to tell this man to do each thing every time. To have the privilege (not the right) to live there, he should be contributing either $$, physical labor or both. He is using your resources ($$)FOR FREE. Do you live there FOR FREE? Is the problem really that because your wife makes more than you she feels she calls the shots? Is that equality in a marriage (i.e. partnership)?

Maybe a talk with your wife about marriage and partnership expectations and money distribution within the marriage is in order first before SS is brought up. So often, one partner is supported monetarily by the other while the former is getting more education. Most of the time, one marriage partner makes more money than the other. However, the one with the higher salary can assume they have more power than the other, and that is not healthy in the relationship. It appears you are working and bringing home some money and contributing as much as you can to the household. It sounds like you are also doing work around the house, it that correct? But being expected to clean up after SS is not something you should even be doing. I feel your frustration with this.

You may need several calm objective conversations with your wife about how this situation makes you feel and what you can do together to keep you home environment enjoyable and clean and motivate SS to get a better life on his own. "Harrassing" your wife and pointing out every thing that SS does causes her to get defensive. It is totally normal to want to do that, to try to make her see that he is not perfect and is basically a parasite, but her automatic response will be to defend her "kid". A better approach is in order so that SHE is the one who wants him out on his own.

Your step daughter should mind her own business. It is not her marriage, her opinion does not count.

please tell me his dogs are well over the age of 11, and leftover from this kids childhood. because i cant see why anyone would allow someone to adopt/buy 2 dogs when they cant take care of themselves.

And the consequences for breaking the rules are?

The tiniest studio apartment sounds better than living like you do. I wouldn't be able to wait all that time for a degree and a better job. I would get what I could afford now to have a peaceful life and work up from that. There must be something you like about the way you are living now that keeps you from making a move now. Good luck.

Time to evict your bride and her leaching spawn. End of problem. And I agree with the others that said your therapist is a moron. One of those who got a pseudo science degree because they could not get a real education or tolerate a real job. Idiot!!! Not you, the therapist. You married a woman not her toxic spawn. Since they were adults when you married you accepted no responsibility for her spawn. That your bride tolerates and enables this crap tells me that she is the cause and the true problem.

Call a locksmith and have the locks rekeyed then put your brides and gthe spawns crap out in the snow the next time they are out of the house.

You owe your daughter a quality childhood not this crap. Congratulations on the looming completion of your Bachelors. I would give yourself and your daughter an early graduation gift and get rid of the wife and her leaching toxic spawn. Unfortunately in your situation it sounds as if the shallow and polluted end of your Skid's gene pool was contributed by your wife.

Good luck and take care of yourself.

./

sounds like the stepson is a mini wife. sons can be mini wives too.