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We sold everything and moved far away from alienated adult SD

Marianne's picture

Submitted by Marianne on Fri, 10/21/2022 - 10:34am

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Adult Stepchildren

It took selling our home and moving far away to end the toxic relationship with spouses alienated adult SD. The battle was 15 years of endurance as my husband never took my side or set SD straight. She manipulated him out of tens of thousands of dollars and was ungrateful, rude, and cold toward her father and downright hateful to me. It all came to a head as her father has early dementia and she offered to help me with his care. She moved into the guesthouse with her boyfriend and proceeded to live her life as if we were not there! After a year, we both realized that the situation was not working. SD tried to get legal deeds to land and the guesthouse from my husband. When that didn't work, she started a diabolical plot to have her dad declared incompetent and me insane to get custody of her dad and his estate. We endured seeral months of neurologist and lawyer visits for our protection. We sold the whole place my husband built and lived in for half a century and moved far away from her. We are both trying to recover, but I'm just not doing as well as I'd hoped for. The newfound freedom after so many years of hate should be so much happier. SD emails her father that she is devastated to lose her family home--that her father always told her would be hers to care for one day.  She can't take financial advantage of us again as we took legal and financial steps for protection. I think that being in limbo for 15 years might have done me in.

JRI's picture

Submitted by JRI on Fri, 10/21/2022 - 10:44am

I'm glad you had the strength to protect yourself from this piranha.  She won't stop, you know, right?  Phone, mail, texts, etc.  I hope your DH can stay strong.

Marianne's picture

Submitted by Marianne on Sat, 10/22/2022 - 7:53am

It took DH to have this happen. When he opened his eyes and accepted 15 years of evidence, he was a changed man--determined to end the abuse.

Stepdrama2020's picture

Submitted by Stepdrama2020 on Fri, 10/21/2022 - 10:55am

Honestly you deserve an award for enduring this cruelty. WTF is wrong with skids.

I am so glad your DH came on board and you left crazy town. Hope everything of yours is protected by this predator.

You have had so much trauma it will take good therapy, self care to peel off the layers of toxic. Be gentle with yourself. The first step was moving away. Although abuse and trauma is something you need to deal with a professional. Remember you have left the situation, next is to heal. Be proud of this!

May karma rain hard on this B

Blessings for your life now is filled by peace

Marianne's picture

Submitted by Marianne on Sat, 10/22/2022 - 7:55am

Therapy later this morning! I am filled with hope today and to take charge of what I have left of my life.

Ispofacto's picture

Submitted by Ispofacto on Fri, 10/21/2022 - 10:53am

Giving up would mean that little psychopath wins.  Keep going out of spite.  Outlast your DH, inherit everything.  Then cut her out of your will.

In the meantime, find a group of ladies and start enjoying your life.

Is there a way you can change his email address, or block her from his email?  Also, log into your phone plan and block her number, and all anon numbers.  You will probably have to renew the block every 90 days.

 

 

SeeYouNever's picture

Submitted by SeeYouNever on Mon, 10/24/2022 - 9:04am

I agree. Being treated like the evil stepmom becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Block her and enjoy your life.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Sat, 10/22/2022 - 9:14am

Give yourself some time to recover. Emotional trauma recovery goes through the grief cycle similar to the death of a loved one.

The longer she is in your past and that you and DH are disengaged from her, the less this will all hurt.

I am  relieved and happy for you both that you mitigated the evil that SD has perpetrated.

Take care of you.

CajunMom's picture

Submitted by CajunMom on Fri, 10/21/2022 - 5:10pm

I am so sorry to read your post! My goodness, sweet Lady! 15 years!! What does your husband think about her continuing to email him? Maybe suggest he just block that horrible woman. As Rags said, give yourself some time to recover. This kind of trauma takes time. Took me close to 4 years to get past what happened to me and it is no where near as horrific as what happened to you and your DH. 

I'll say it again...if your DH can grasp the severity of what his kid has done....he will need to be strong to continue reading her crap or just block her. Best to you!

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Fri, 10/21/2022 - 10:37pm

The grief cycle generally takes 2-4 years if I recall correctly.

Working through the cycle took ~3-4 years after my divorce.   IMHO it takes engaging in life, working the cycle of grief, recycling through the backsliding periods (each phase of the cycle may require a number of iterations) and ultimately we come out the other side with memories, some sad, most happy, and a new life opportunity..

 

  

Marianne's picture

Submitted by Marianne on Sat, 10/22/2022 - 8:00am

Here I am in my early 60's thinking about how to get my excitement for life and living back. Right now, I'm not there. I do have therapy with a Life coach later this morning and am going to work a program to heal. I am so grateful to be sitting here far from evil SD.

Winterglow's picture

Submitted by Winterglow on Sat, 10/22/2022 - 4:41am

  1. Block all her access to you, phones, social media, etc.
  2. Take all the proof and accusations down to your local police station and tell them that you are scared of her and ask if you have enough to get a restraining order on her and her bf/dh for you and your dh.

I know this won't solve everything but it can give you at least two more shields between you and her.