Yes, I am finally jealous of Adult SD
After years of my wife accusing me of being Jealous of my Step Daughter I finally am. My SD20 go a job at a local fast food place and works 3-4 days a week from 4pm to 10pm, for about 3 months now. I thought that this ment I would finally get some alone time with my wife. Boy was I wrong. My wife will not talk to me for most of the eve instead insists on txting with her daughter all eve. Wife spends the 9:30 to 10:30 hour preparing for her daughter to come home. This means cooking a custom dinner for her and setting up a dinner in spread her bedroom, because she is working soooo hard and it is soo rough, because I made her get a job. Also wife let her out of all of her around the house chores since she is now a working girl. I also on nights that SD is working go to bed alone, because wife needs to stay up to great her, hug her, feed her, and converse with her because they miss each other. Wife and I had an agreement when she started working that we would go to bed together and SD would have to come in the house quietly... That lasted all of 1 week. BTW.... SD only is taking 2 courses at community college. When I mentioned the situation to my wife she said that I need to get over myself because it is inappropriate for me to be jealous of my SD. and in 3-4 years we will have all the time we want together because that is when she is thinking her daughter will finally be "ready" to move out. If things keep on going the way they are going I do not know if I will still be together with my wife. We have been married now for 15 years. I feel like forcing SD to get a job backfired on me.
Questions:
1) Do I have a right to be jealous?
2) Is this wrong? If so how do I get my wife to understand that this is wrong?
^^Exactly what I was
^^Exactly what I was thinking. Maybe wife and SD would like their own place since SD can now afford to contribute to the household.
Yes--do something else! If
Yes--do something else! If you don't want to leave the house and do that stuff, start gaming--Guild Wars 2 is free to play, unless you upgrade. (This is a serious suggestion, not sarcastic)
I think your wife is
I think your wife is punishing you, because "you made SD get a job".
If I were you, I would call your wife out on her behavior, see what she says. If she refuses to have an open and honest conversation about what is bothering her/refuses to change this/refuses conselling than I would leave. But you have to decide for yourself what you can live with.
In the meantime, I agree with finding somewhere else to be and do not pick up the slack for any chores SD is not doing- let your wife experience the increased workload.
Has your wife ever said what
Has your wife ever said what the acceptable age she believes her adult child should be when she has to get a job?
I am floored by stories like this. I was up and gone by 17 and never looked back. Well there was no "back" to look back at but still even though there was no option to go home I would have never have gone back. Sure I had to have a roommate to afford to live alone but you do what you have to do. I was roommate free by the age of 20 and was living the highlife of a single lady.
" My SD20 go a job at a local
" My SD20 go a job at a local fast food place and works 3-4 days a week from 4pm to 10pm, for about 3 months now. I thought that this ment I would finally get some alone time with my wife. Boy was I wrong. My wife will not talk to me for most of the eve instead insists on txting with her daughter all eve."
Not sure what's going on at your house, lovenlife, but something's not right. I'll assume a typographical error here you state SD has worked this job "about 3 months since a month ago you were blogging SD still didn't have a job. But the constant wife/SD texting all evening while wife ignores you, doesn't make sense. What fast food place let's their employees carry a phone around and play on it all shift? The SD wouldn't last there a month let alone three.
Just curious, but if your wife is ignoring you, playing/texting on her phone all evening and avoiding going to bed with you? Are you sure she's not possibly having an affair instead?
Just a thought.
oooh good point. You may have
oooh good point. You may have nailed it.
its called enmeshment. when
its called enmeshment. when a person puts a child before the needs of the spouse, its unhealthy.
you have every reason to be upset. you are not being "jealous" but responding to not being first in the eyes of the spouse.