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I can't help but feel robbed Vent

member1234l's picture

Submitted by member1234l on Sun, 02/01/2015 - 9:20pm

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Bio Child Free Zone

I hate this mess with every fiber in my being. I HATE how I have waited so patiently for 5yrs for my own baby...MY OWN FAMILY. That I will never get. I hate this selfish man who manipulated me into this baggage relationship. He has lied to me so much in the past.....to keep me. I resent his baggage. I hate that I will NEVER have my own nuclear family. It makes me bat shit crazy.I hate his kid, I hate that he has experienced all of the firsts with some other woman who used abused and dropped him. I hate how he will never say a bad thing about her and joyfully adheres to any request she makes. I hate how he goes outside and watches her and her car and he stands around just WAITING for her approval...like the puppet he is...just awaiting the puppet master's commands. I hate how I have been completely robbed of having a first marriage and first baby with someone. Its devastating. Its inhumane. Its not Godly. I hve worked very hard in my life I am now 31yrs old..i come BAGGAGE FREE. He has ALWAYS held the better card in this. I absolutely hate myself for putting up with this misery for 5 1/2yrs of my most prime years. I want to cut ALL ties with him and his family. I want to pretend none of this happened. And completely forget this mistake I made being with him. I want zero emotion. Zero emotional attachment. I never really existed to any of them in the first place and now I will make my final and permanent disappearing act. I can not WAIT for the day I will have the freedom and control back over MY life, MY home, MY family. It will be like a rebirth of myself. I have my running shoes ready and im almost fully stretched for my SPRINT of a lifetime. Oh I can already hear the church bells ringing....the new years poppers going off...and the champagne bottles popping! Sigh....Single Again Smile -EndVent

HARD LESSON LEARNED. NEVVVVVER AGAIN.

onthefence2's picture

Submitted by onthefence2 on Sun, 02/01/2015 - 10:03pm

What is your plan? I am 43 and there are men out there your age and older who have never been married/don't have kids. Some of them are even normal! lol I have put God first and it's been working for me. I feel so much more fulfilled. I don't need an earthly man! Smile

Indigo's picture

Submitted by Indigo on Mon, 02/02/2015 - 12:33am

You have not been robbed of a first marriage and first child. You made different choices and are free to make new ones.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Mon, 02/02/2015 - 7:15am

Congratulations and good luck in your life's do-over. Good riddance to the baggage.

People only bring baggage if they allow it to be baggage. History does not need to be baggage even if there are prior spouses and spawn involved. A child with someone who has spawned before is still a first child together.

It is all about character and perspective. If your SO had refused to allow history to be baggage then that is just as good as an SO with no prior relationship spawn.

My XW nor I had any kids or XHs/XWs when we married but that marriage was a frickin disaster. She left the marriage with tons of baggage completely realted to her complete lack of character and I left with none though we did not spawn. My amazing bride and I entered our 20+ year equity life partnership with Xs and she brought a kid but ... neither of us allowed or tolerated any of it being baggage.

May you find an amazing future in your do-ver. When I took mine I sure did.

Good luck.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Mon, 02/02/2015 - 11:12am

It sounds like the guy still loves BM and only remarried because he didn't want to be alone. Many here say never get involved with a man with kids. I think never get involved with a man who was dumped by his ex-wife should be included as well.

SSOverwhelmed's picture

Submitted by SSOverwhelmed on Tue, 02/03/2015 - 3:55pm

I used to feel the same way as you. Then I realized I made that choice and living with it to my best of abilities. There are some days that I just want to walk out and say "screw them". It's normal to feel al that frustration, just need to find an outlet to let it go. At the end of the day only you have the power to decide for yourself and choose what you will let affect you or not. You need to do what's right for you. Hang in there!!! You are not alone!

hippiegirl's picture

Submitted by hippiegirl on Wed, 02/04/2015 - 1:04pm

Yeah, I felt that way too. I brought into our relationship a crappy car and a little bit of bad credit. He brought a crappy car, tons of bad credit, an ex wife, kids and child support payments. It makes you resentful when you don't start with an even playing field.

((( hugs )))