Mummies Girl
Hi everyone, I'm new to this site. I have a problem with my 7 y/o SD. I don't like her!! I've been with her dad since she was one. Her BM left my SO for another guy so I'm not the "home wrecker!" When she was younger I thought she was cute and enjoyed spending time with her. In the past couple of years she's really been grating on me and it's getting so bad that I don't want her in my house. Her sister is my 12y/o SD and we get on great. We go on shopping trips, we bake, we chat and laugh but I can't see myself doing any of that with the younger one. She's such a mummys girl and is extremely spoilt by her BM. We have both kids every other weekend now. It used to be every weekend but I am disabled and my SO works a lot so it was getting to be too much for me. My illness is the reason I have no kids of my own.
When youngest is here she counts down the days until she can go home and it's the only time she seems happy. I've spent a lot of time, effort and money taking them both on days out and doing things that she would love but she ALWAYS finds a reason to sulk! I asked her what I could do to make her time with us better and she told me she wants more treats in the house (chocolate, sweets etc) and treats on days out like going on rides, getting new toys everywhere we go. Her BM buys her a toy just for getting through a week of school. On a Friday afternoon she comes out of school and asks what her present is. I think it's ridiculous!! We are going to Cadbury World on Monday because she asked if we could go during school holidays. We've had them both here for a week. This evening she said she doesn't think she wants to go anymore because she wants to go home and play with her new archery set that her BM bought just before we picked them up. The truth is, I'm sick of trying now. She lies to me constantly about pathetic things. She refuses to flush the toilet because in the past week she's decided that it "scares" her. She moans when I ask for help around the house because 'mummy never makes me do that.' She takes forever to do absolutely anything. Her mum says she's cute and wants to keep her a baby as long as possible. I find it extremely irritating and am at the stage where I enjoy shouting at her because she doesn't get enough of it at home. She has her own ipad she brings round which I limit to 1 hour a day and get whinged at because apparently there's nothing else to do. She mithers for toys which I don't mind getting for her birthday or Christmas but then she will love her mums present more and forget about what I get her. Her dad will shrug this off if I mention it to him but I don't want her here anymore. I won't stop him seeing his daughter of course but it really winds me up when Friday rolls around. Anyone else have this?
" I find it extremely
" I find it extremely irritating and am at the stage where I enjoy shouting at her because she doesn't get enough of it at home."
If it's come to this, then it's time to put her in the car and take her home when her father is working. No need for both kid and you to be miserable. She can visit when Dad is home and he can deal with her. Visitation is for her and Dad anyway. If he doesn't have enough sense to correct the child over silly things like flushing a toilet let him be the one to constantly run around behind her and do it for her. It's his little princess, as long as one of them does the task (he'll get tired of running to check after each usage pretty quick.
As for buying and doing things for SD. Knock it off. Save your money. Why keep doing it if it's not appreciated? Let her parents do gifts and special treats. You don't own the ungrateful brat. If the kid wants to sit and sulk by herself while the older SD helps bake, let her sit and sulk. Just go about your chatting and having a good time with the child who is appreciating your effort and attention. Let her share of chores go until Dad is there to supervise her. His kid. His problem.
My stepson counts down the
My stepson counts down the days when he's with us because we are horrible people who make him do chores and limit his time on x-box and other electronics. When he mentions how he can't wait to go back to his Mom's house, I just tell him that's rude and hurtful.
I'm so glad you wrote this
I'm so glad you wrote this post. I'm in the same situation with one of my stepdaughters - the other two are great. She is spoiled, rude, disrespectful, and given anything she wants from her mother. My husband is similar to what it sounds like yours is. He is much more laid back (although he isn't the one cleaning the house at the end of the weekend). My stepdaughter hates to come with us (and in many instances refuses to). I've been with her dad for 4 years - for the two years things were fine, but have been horrible ever since...She is now 11 and it's only gotten worse. I wish there was an easy answer.
I was interested in your comments about taking away her Ipad. I do the same thing with my stepdaughters - it's something I believe in, so I try to set rules. My husband doesn't particularly care one way or the other.
Everyone posts that the father should pick up the slack - it's not that I disagree, but I don't know how that works. My husband gets very sad when he doesn't see his daughter. I don't want him to feel that way, so I try to pitch in when I can. It's easy to say that you're walking away or not doing things to help her, but don't you end up hurting him in the process?