Advice from other SP's whose SK live far away?
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We live on opposite sides of the country as my skids. Often, just their dad will fly to visit them because it's so expensive, and because he's their dad : ). I miss them, and I want them to have a relationship with their step-brother and half little sister. All of the kids are young -- 11 and under. How do other step-parents manage the distance? Of course, their dad is the focus for them, but I want them to know they are loved and have an extended family. Any advice would be appreciated for maintaining a healthy relationship for everyone.
Skype Send
Skype
Send cards/letters/photos/drawings
Post short videos with all of you talking to the skids.
DH and I are military. SD18
DH and I are military. SD18 was 10 when we met and married. We lived 1000 miles away from BM and SD.
DH called SD every week, no Skype or anything video. We saw her every Christmas, sometimes for Thanksgiving or spring break, and up to 7 weeks in the summers. DH paid the airfare when SD flew - under a certain age it had to be a direct flight, which was a PITA.
We just carried on. For many of the years, I didn't talk to SD too much. When she was up for the summers, DH put her in day camp, and did all of the drop-offs and pick-ups, but leaned heavily on me to provide entertainment ideas. We tried not to make every visit a spend-fest, but it often ended up that way. I taught SD how to cook (BM's idea of high cuisine is chicken nuggets) and we did crafts. But one of the best things that we did a lot of was sitting outside in the evenings with cold drinks talking - about school, about boys, about college, about SD's future, about what it means to be an adult and our dreams for her.
BM dumped her on DH last June just as she got expensive. We're having our issues, but she's not a bad kid. She's just been trained to be utterly passive and allow someone else to have complete control over her. We're trying to boot her in the ass and get her to seize control of her own future - but that starts with (of all things) chores and being a good member of the household. That's where we're stuck right now.
Thanks for all your advice,
Thanks for all your advice, Serene Hopes, sadly, BM wouldn't do that. Trish, your comment really helps. Your SD is very lucky to have you in her life. We need to make the most of the time we have together, and it doesn't need to be anything terribly expensive or crazy like a beach vacation...