BM

evilstepmother's picture

my stepson's birth mother is a manipulative bitch. enough said.

starfish's picture

is she my skids bm, too??? we use Fat Fuc#ing C#nt --- but manipulative bitch works if you add in selfish opportunist as a precursor

Milomom's picture

Hey evilstepmother, I hear you. Aren't they all? Tell me something we don't already know about these BM's.

With that said, there are BM's on this site that are WONDERFUL BM's - who are the complete opposite of the BM's we deal with on a daily basis for years.

Why can't I have a BM like them?? I'd be thrilled!!! Hell, I'd even kick in CS $$ if our BM was as nice & as appreciative of my efforts as the BM's are on this site to the SM's of their kids!!! OK, maybe not....lol

TheOtherMom's picture

Enough said you are right.
How to deal with it is the next logical step.
Any takers?

evilstepmother's picture

I have no idea how to deal with it. If she was human and not demon the whole situation would be different but she manipulates EVERYONE. Well everyone that lets her. I came into this situation as a stepchild who's parents have hated eachother for years so I was all gung ho to be the bigger person and make nice, etc. etc. Well I failed. Now I just try to pretend that she doesn't exist and when I must think of her I pray that when she dies she burns in hell for all she's done.

If anyone would like to offer a more constructive way to deal with the situation feel free Smile ?

Bettina's picture

I saw this post and just thought I would vent,share, explode with my words.....laughing!
The BM in my life I have known since childhood. HD, Myself and BM all went to school together. HD and I started a relationship that came out of a 20 Year Reunion. We did the long distance relationship thing for months as he had moved away from our home town. When BM found out I was moving up here she pressured SO to buy a house about a block and a half away from ours. That should have been a red flag for me!
BM grew up a very poor little girl with a father that was for the most part absent. The mother was a maid in town for my then boyfriends parents. Her mother was caught sleeping with my BFs father. The reason I tell you this is because the BM in our life ended the marriage with my HD because she was having an affair with her much older, wealthy boss. Apple doesnt fall far from the tree!
This woman is so screwed up and likes nothing more then to be in control of everything in her home and in mine. Anytime her plans arent followed by my DH (yes he doesnt always stand up to her) such as things that she has booked for SD to do when it is our weekend she starts playing the martyr. From that comes the Newsletters that she sends out concerning SD to DH and the family. The Passive/Aggressive behavior kicks in and she plants little seeds into SD to bring to our home to cause guilt. SD at the age of 9 is picking up on this behavior and works it, plays the martyr card with DH. With me, of course this is never in front of DH, she is rude and always says things about how BM does this better, BM stuff is nicer. BM even sent her over here one time with a TV Dinner on Thanksgiving. I had a catering business for a time when I was a SM so it wasnt due to bad food, just a dig. The way I handle all this is to just say "Oh thats nice" or "Good for Mom".
As for the way I handle BM I just basically ignore her. If the occasion arises that I cant I am cordial. When we are in public she wants to pretend we are buddies and I wont play that game. Of course then she will shoot DH an email about how it is important for us to be close and I need to apologize....for what! I dont have to be cordial, I do it for SD because I love my DH. If I did what I honestly wanted to do I would tell her dont talk to me, dont look at me and dont pretend to be my friend you screwed up piece of trash. I always say everything comes out in the wash and one day all of these bad women will get theirs!