Brothers From Different Mothers
This is kind of a strange question, but I'm wondering about identifying relationships in my crazy mixed up blended family! My husband and I just had our own son, and he's very close with his nine-year-old stepbrother, and in fact we are even close with my stepson's mother, my husband's ex partner. She and I have formed a friendship, which is a great thing, and she even came to our wedding. Of course my stepson calls her Mom, just like my son will call me Mom (or some variation of it). But last night when we were all out together, the topic came up of what my son should call his brother's mother. Of course, we could keep it simple and my son could just call her by her first name or he could call her Auntie but that doesn't seem to cut it for my stepson. He seems to want an official explanation of what that relationship is called, but there isn't really an answer. Does anyone else have this kind of a positive blended family experience? I'd love to hear from other people have found labels for this relationship. I really want to honor my stepson's feelings that his mother plays an important role in my son's life and deserves a title.
Since there is no title I'm
Since there is no title I'm aware of then "Aunt" will have to do. Your little junior will just have to accept that not everything has an answer acceptable to him.
My half-brothers, both 20+ years older than me, were called Uncle and their spouses Aunt by both my brother and I. I was in my 30's before I got the Uncle and Aunt part out of my head and just called them Al and Art etc.
If he gets pissy about it suggest "Mother of my Half Brother" or "Mohab" for short. Let him spew that out until he gets tired of the game.
Funny, but probably not.
What does your SS call you?
What does your SS call you?
What I mean is, do YOU have a
What I mean is, do YOU have a special title? If not, what makes BM a more important part of your son's life than you are to your SS, who you actually have some sort of hand in raising? This is weird. Miss BM should suffice.
No, she won't have a hand in
No, she won't have a hand in raising my kid like I do in hers, but she will be a bigger part of my son's life than some random adult. She's family to him. She's there for some holidays, sometimes she'll probably take both kids for an outing, he will see her all the time. I guess it will be akin to being an auntie. And while it may be rare to have such a good relationship with her, I don't think it's weird. I find it preferable actually.
He calls me by my first name,
He calls me by my first name, but he identifies me as his stepmom. I think the confusion for him is why I am HIS stepmom, but his mom isn't his brother's stepmom if they have the same dad. He's just trying to figure out what the name of that relationship is, but there isn't a name for it.
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Leanne
It isn't weird if we have
It isn't weird if we have learned to be one big happy family. It's just different.
Sorry but I think Auntie is
Sorry but I think Auntie is WEIRD.
I think it should be first name or Ms/Mrs. ____.
The Chinese languages have a
The Chinese languages have a name for practically every relationship in families. I'll find out that name and post it here. Stay toooooned.
Yes, actually you're right.
Yes, actually you're right. The intention was sort of lost in translation. I'm not actually trying to figure out what my son should call her, but more what that relationship would be called in an anthropological sense. It's funny because her by her first name, but it still begs the question of what is he TO her? Since this seems important to my stepson, I'd like to be able to answer with something more creative and meaningful than "Nothing". Obviously I know the answer technically IS nothing, but in this day and age, with a more complex family structure emerging, I was curious about whether not other people may find a term for this. And if not, maybe it's time it is a word for that.
Make up a word.
Make up a word.
Why can't you just be honest
Why can't you just be honest and tell him that there is not a word or title for it, you guys have a special and unique situation, and you all are a family and important to each other. That's all that matters.
Thanks for the feedback
Thanks for the feedback everyone. It sounds like no one else is really in the same situation as me. I guess we'll probably just make up a word for the relationship. Again, we're not looking for something to actually call her to her face, but a way to describe the relationship. After reading everyone else's posts, I realize that I'm in a very unique situation to have such a stable loving relationship with the bio mom. I'm not really worried about it ever becoming unstable because first of all, we always put the kids first which means putting our own issues aside, and second of all when there's conflict we work it out. Just like I would work it out with my sister, I would work it out with the bio mom. Anyway, if anyone out there ever does hear of a word that has been made up to describe this kind of relationship, let me know!