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BM asked me for my cake recipe!

Halgsmom's picture

So, SSs birthday is on Sunday. He will be with his BM until Sunday evening. We are having a party for him next weekend (on our weekend) BM will be here.

I make this cake for my Dhs birthday that SS has told BM he HATES (according to SD) and he has begged me to make it for his birthday party. It is a real pain in the butt to make but I agreed to make it for him anyway.

SD had a talent show tonight. BM actually showed up (but I have a whole other post to vent about that event) and took SS from the show. She came up to me and says "SS has asked ME to make the chocolate pumpkin cake that you make on Sunday for his birthday, can I have the recipe?" :jawdrop: Is she serious???? Is HE serious???????

I don't know if I should laugh because BM doesn't cook and SS asked for MY cake? OR if i should be pissed that he asked for something of me and then wants his Mommy to make it for him. :?

DH thinks I am being dumb because I said I was not making it next weekend after BM makes it this weekend. BM will be at our house next weekend, I am NOT going to make the same cake (even if it is MY cake)

CANTSEEMTOGETIT's picture

I think she is crazy for asking and you should absolutely not give it to her! And she definitely would not be at my house for any birthday! You should pat yourself on the back for allowing her to be that closely involved in your life to begin with! Are you ok with her coming around like that? If so can you share how you cope with me? I can't stand the thought of my SD's mom!! I don't even allow her to tt my husband. (She's crazy and has been a drug addict, in mental facilities, and arrested many times)
Oh and you are most certainly not dumb! He should appreciate the fact that you even speak to her!

Halgsmom's picture

I do NOT want her to be involved in my life like that. She has put us all through hell over the last 8 years and I really really dislike her. HOWEVER, my SS has lived with us for a year. BM NEVER allowed DH and I to be involved with the Stepkids Birthdays even when the kids wanted us to be. This year the tables were turned on us and SS asked if he could invite his Mom and Brother to his party at our house. He told me that his BM always said it would be "too weird" (DUH) and would always tell him no that we were NOT coming in her house ect. I feel I have nothing to hide or be ashamed of and I did not want my SS to think I was some petty loser witch (like his BM) so I invited her with the hope that she would be herself and say no. But, alas.... she didnt and she WILL be here. (Then again, she will be in MY house with MY family and MY In-laws (whom she hates and they feel the same) and I do not see any reason why I would be uncomfortable.) This is about my SS and my SD (whom is closer to me than her own BM at this point) And I will do what is right for them, even if it means inviting their BM to my house.

I kinda draw the line with the cake though. I am VERY upset over it and I already sent it to her but I made sure to tell her it was difficult (which it is and VERY time consuming BUT VERY WORTH IT) and I also told her it was my DHs favorite cake (which it is) i also mentioned that IF she needed help, she could call me. Wink She doesn't cook. I do and my stepkids know it and now she does too I suppose. I bet it was hard for her to ask me for the cake recipe.

My DH thought I was being petty about not wanting to make the same cake 6 days after she does. I don't think its petty or dumb. Why should the same cake be on the table at my house that SS just had 6 days before with his BM??? I dunno, maybe it IS dumb. ???

stepsonhatesme's picture

I would have given it to her but I would have tweaked it to leave something out or add something extra just so it would mess up. and then turn around and make it 6 days later...just so she could see how it should "really taste". maybe I'm a little vindictive but hey, thats me sometimes.LOL

simifan's picture

^^^
I got to admit I would be tempted to do this too. If you can be the bigger person, tell her sorry it's a family receipe but I'm sure you can find one online. Smile

CANTSEEMTOGETIT's picture

I applaud you for being the better person for sure! I am not there yet! I still don't think you are dumb. You sound like a wonderful person with a big heart! BM is lucky to have someone like you in her childrens life! And I also see the point about it being your house with all of your family, friends, etc...
So have you thought about what kind of cake you are going to make instead?

caregiver1127's picture

What if BM has a friend who is a really great baker and has her do the cake so that it is perfect and then SS starts to compare the two - I would just tell her that it is a family recipe and leave it at that - why does this SM have to give up something that is all hers?

caregiver1127's picture

Halgsmom - I have a friend who has a recipe for caramel popcorn that is out of this world - family recipe and she won't give me the recipe because she gave it to her SIL and her SIL made it for Christmas and gave it out as gifts when she knew that my friend would be bringing it to the family celebration - so now she will not give the recipe to ANYONE - so tell your BM that it is a family recipe and no one gets it - I have begged my friend for this recipe for 3 years and she is adamant - so you be adamant too and say sorry family recipe but you can have a piece when you come to SS's party next weekend - and may I ask why she is coming to your house for SS's party - I would never allow our BM anywhere near our house - very nice of you!!

Eyes Wide Open's picture

Hadn't thought of that, but it's a good idea, too! As a matter of fact, I have a lasagna recipe that EVERYONE wants, but it was my grandmother's recipe and we are all sworn to secrecy. There is actually a "top secret" ingredient that isn't written on the recipe card (but I know what it is and how much to use), just in case it falls into the "wrong hands"---how funny is that!

Halgsmom's picture

Maybe it is selfish reasons I invited her (even if it was SSs idea) BM is VERY bad with money, she lives in a crappy rented house, drives the same car she has driven since high school (she is darn near 40) her house smells like cat urine..... MY house on the other hand is owned, doesn't smell and DH and I have two brand new cars. Our family is nice, our house is nice and we are good with money. I am kinda glad she will get to see us "in action" so to speak and see how happy we ALL are. I won't be uncomfortable AT ALL. I am actually cooking for SSs party and my Inlaws LOVE me (except his Grandma I think hates me but she hates BM more at this point) Plus my Mom and Brother will be here. Maybe I will bake the same cake or find another one that is just as good and surprise SS with a HUGE cake.

I already felt trumped yesterday. SS refuses to acknowledge everything I do. He acts like he hates me and he FINALLY asked ME for something I make.... and then turns around and asks BM to make the same thing. Sad I felt trumped yesterday because my SD was in a talent show and I went out and spent a huge amount of money on her outfit and new jewelry.... I even bought her flowers (but I didnt give them to her before the show, I had them waiting for after) BM shows up to the talent show and BRINGS IN ROSES FOR SD. UGH!!! So, i felt like mine wouldn't matter and I was upset. So then the cake thing comes up right after this.... and I was just freaking out.

ALTHOUGH, SD was irritated about BMs roses and ended up cutting them up (angry much?) She said she heard BM tell someone on the phone that she "brought SD roses and she still wont go home with her" so SD felt the roses were a bribe and she was ANGRY. BM did not stay for judging either so SD was mad about that too. Maybe I really won in this afterall. (DH thought I was being dumb about the roses too)

Thanks everyone for your comments!!!

foxxystep's picture

LOL, I am with stepsonhates me on this. Give her a watered-down version of the cake. Don't mess with quantities, cos if it flops, she'll know you were being mean... so substitute things.. like instead of cinnamon, let her use nutneg, and add something slightly offensive like maybe a clove of garlic (okay kidding)... but you know what I'm getting at Smile

Halgsmom's picture

The bad news is: I already gave it to her. The good news: It IS very hard and VERY time consuming. She doesn't cook and I wouldn't be surprised if she screws it up. She can't even cook a boxed cake according to the stepkids.

caregiver1127's picture

I am a really good cook and would love the recipe I am always looking for good cake recipes - would you give it to us or PM me with it?!?!?!?!

Halgsmom's picture

I don't mind sharing.... it is NOT actually my cake just one I make and it IS hard.. I will post it. Smile

Halgsmom's picture

SS asked me to make the cake, SD said "WHY would she make THAT cake for you when you told Mom you HATED it?" SS didnt answer her. Then yesterday SS and BM both said he told her he liked it. I dont know if it is the same cake or not but probably since I dont make many that are chocolate pumpkin.

The big G's picture

The cake sounds nice, I wouldn't worry too much about bm making one she will more than likely screw it up. Ss prob only asked bm out of loyalty. Good luck for the party try not to hire hit men to jump out of your cake Wink

Halgsmom's picture

lol

forever2's picture

Ha ha....when I read the title of your post, one thought popped into my head. Don't forget the cyanide!

Halgsmom's picture

Cake Ingredients
1 1/2 cup(s) flour
2/3 cup(s) cocoa
2 teaspoon(s) baking powder
1 teaspoon(s) baking soda
1/2 teaspoon(s) salt
1/2 cup(s) buttermilk
1 cup(s) canned pumpkin
2 teaspoon(s) vanilla extract
3/4 cup(s) butter, softened
1 cup(s) dark brown sugar
1 cup(s) granulated sugar
3 large eggs
1 egg yolk

Directions
1.Line the bottoms of two 8-inch cake pans with parchment paper and lightly butter.
2.Sift the flour, cocoa, baking powder, baking soda, and salt together. Stir the buttermilk, pumpkin, and vanilla extract together in a small bowl. Beat the butter and sugars together using an electric mixer on medium speed until light and fluffy. Beat in the eggs and yolk, one at a time. Reduce mixer speed to low and alternately beat in the flour and buttermilk mixtures in thirds.
3.Pour the batter into the prepared pans. Bake until a tester, inserted in the center, comes out clean--about 35 minutes. Cool layers completely before icing.

Frosting Ingredients:
6 ounces softened cream cheese
1 1/2 cups confectioners' sugar
2 1/4 teaspoons cocoa
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
3/4 teaspoon vanilla
1 1/2 cups heavy cream
3/4 cup confectioners' sugar
1/4 teaspoon orange food coloring

Glaze Ingredients:
4 ounces of chopped bittersweet chocolate
1 tablespoon cold unsalted butter
3 tablespoons corn syrup
1/2 cup heavy cream

Step 1: Frosting: Beat 6 ounces softened cream cheese using a mixer set on medium-high speed until fluffy. Add 1 1/2 cups confectioners' sugar, 2 1/4 teaspoons cocoa, 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon, and 3/4 teaspoon vanilla and beat on low speed until well combined. In a separate bowl, beat 1 1/2 cups heavy cream with 3/4 cup confectioners' sugar and a scant 1/4 teaspoon orange food coloring on medium-high to soft peaks. Gently fold the whipped cream into the cream cheese mixture until well combined. Spread 1 cup frosting between the two layers and use the remaining frosting to ice the top and sides of the cake. Chill 30 minutes and proceed to step 2.

Step 2: Glaze: Place 4 ounces of chopped bittersweet chocolate, 1 tablespoon cold unsalted butter, and 3 tablespoons corn syrup in a medium heatproof bowl. Bring 1/2 cup heavy cream to a boil, pour it over the chocolate, and let sit for 3 minutes. Gently stir, using a whisk, until smooth. Let sit for 3 to 5 minutes, until the glaze thickens slightly. Pour the glaze onto the center of the frosted cake and smooth out to the edges to allow the glaze to drop over the sides.

http://www.countryliving.com/recipefinder/chocolate-pumpkin-cake-clv0907...

caregiver1127's picture

Sounds delicious - I have made this cake below twice - it is absolutely divine and has about 4 pounds of chocolate in it - just reading the recipe makes me want to make it again very soon - time consuming but worth every minute.

Nie’s Mud Cake is everything Nie is: divinely beautiful inside and out.
*
8 oz. unsweetened chocolate (8 squares)
¾ c. olive oil
2 c. sugar
4 eggs
1 c. powdered sugar
½ tsp. salt
½ c. cocoa powder
1 c. flour
1 c. buttermilk
1 tsp. baking powder*
½ tsp. baking soda
In a microwave, melt squares of chocolate with olive oil. Once melted, beat until smooth then add sugars and egg. Beat again until well creamed. Add remaining ingredients. Beat just until all ingredients are incorporated. (If you are baking BELOW 5000 feet altitude, double baking powder and add an additional 1/2 cup of flour). Pour batter into two 9-inch cake pans that have been generously greased & dusted with cocoa powder. Bake in an oven preheated to 375 degrees for 26-28 minutes, or just until center of cake springs back to the touch. Remove from oven. Allow to cool before inverting on a cooling rack and removing from pan. Before layering cake, use a knife to gently cut away any uneven parts at the top or sides of the cake. You’ll want a nice, even surface to begin with in order to have your finished product look amazing.
*
Mascarpone Mousse
1 c. whipping cream
¼ c. sugar
1 c. 60% Bittersweet cacao chips
8 oz. mascarpone
In a large bowl, whip whipping cream until fluffly. Add sugar & mascarpone and whip until smooth. In a small bowl, melt chocolate chips in microwave, stirring every thirty seconds until smooth. Chocolate should not be warm to the touch, if it is, allow it to cool just slightly before spooning the melted chocolate into the whipping cream mixture & beating until light and fluffy. Spoon carefully atop one layer of cake. Spread evenly, then top with the second layer of cake. Refrigerate until ready to frost.
Bittercream Frosting
1 pint heavy cream
11.5 oz. 60% Bittersweet cacao chips
½ c. butter
4-5 c. powdered sugar

In a medium saucepan, melt chocolate chips and heavy cream until a thick, smooth ganache forms, to keep the mixture from burning, stir constantly. Put in fridge until chilled. Remove from fridgidaire and beat in butter & powdered sugar until frosting is a spreadable consistency. Frost. Chill cake. To serve, remove from fridge 10-15 minutes before serving.

Halgsmom's picture

That sounds YUMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for sharing!!!

Done WIth It's picture

Next time she wants a recipe, tell her it's not difficult and to Google Pumpkin Chocolate Cake...it's all over the internet and it will be fun for son to enjoy his moms and then enjoy yours. Let her look it up and print it out. Just reading the recipe will probably be a challenge for her. Or, copy another PC reipe off the net and hand it to her.
Then smile, walk away.

Last-Wife's picture

Just go with it. The skid doesn't want to acknowledge he likes you or the cake. That's a skid thing. And good for you for inviting her in. I did the same thing, many times. It was always the right thing to do, for the skids. I used to always think, "God! What if she wants me to EAT at her house?!" The thought terrified me, but she never returned the invitation, thank goodness!

It was right for the skids. I think now that the are older, they appreciate that, and the see I was the bigger person, and I am the one who has always been there...