cant stand my stepson anymore
Hello there, been a lurker fo a while nor but posting for the fist time.
So I have 2 step kids, girl 9yrs and boy 7yrs. Aldo have bd 2yrs from ex and bd5months with hubby.
The problem is my hubbys son...I can not stand him anymore. At the start it was fine and I coud even say I loved ss but now I get sick to my stomach as soon as hubby tells me his kids are coming around.
My sd and toddler get along fine and love eachother to death, always play together and my toddler cries when sd goes back home to mum so thats all good.
But my stepson is always abusing my toddler....ss goes around saying he'll bash wella(bd2) and he hates her, she's sooo annoying, when is she going away to her dads? And yelling at bd2 if he doesnt want her to do something. Pushing her around, taking her own toys away from her, stopping her from getting her toys, going into the kids room(the room for ALL the kids).
Had a shitty weekend because ss ruins everything all the time. Went to a park with them and they were playing around having fun but then sd and ss wanted to go on paddle boats so had to leave my toddler in the car with me and baby, which is fine but when hubby got back with his kids, my bd2 got excited and threw my ss's toy at the car door just as ss open the door. And what does he do? Grabs sd's toy and throws it in a puddle...he got told off and he cried worse than my bd5months does for 20 minutes straight!!!!
And ss's crying made my bd's both cry for no reason aswell...yea not a nice drive back home but whatever, can live with that.
But then when we got home ss went in the roo and closed the door so my bd2 wouldnt get in there. Bd was crying at the door so I went to open it for her as her toys are all in there too and ss started screaming and crying that he doesnt want her in there...I looked at him and said its not just your room! And he started yelling at me again. So I did what I thought was best for me and my bd, as this has been just building up for me,and I closed the door and got my bd2 distracted with babys toys in the lounge room.
Have to add I've pretty much disengaged from ss by now, only time I step up is when ss is being disrespectful to adults or annoying my bd2.
Anyways I told hubby that thats it, my bd2 will not be here anymore when his kids come around and I will dismantle ss bed so he can sleep on the couch and not going into the kids room again.
Hubby went to the room to talk to ss and ask why is the door closed few minutes later and ss was yelling at hubby that he can do whatever he wants, he can close the door if he wants etc and called hubby a dickhead.
Mind you I know very well its my husbands crap parenting with his son that is the biggest problem here but I cant help hubby aymore with this, everytime I step up and punish for bad behavior hubby says its finee, let him play, let him get what he wants etc.
That was just this past weekend....Other times when bd2 is just minding her own business and playing with something ss goes and gets in her way and bd2 gets angry and tries to tell ss off, get ss away from her things, and ss just keeps pushing until my bd2 hits him and then ss has a sook and cries "I did nothing".
He's also spoilt to the core, everytime we go anywhere he always gets something and the few times sd or my bds get anything he cries its not fair.
He's selfish to the point where he will hog any food and refuses to share but then never finishes and no one will want his sloppy seconds.
Apparently bm always wanted a boy so even she favors ss, ss is the apple of mum and dads eye and sd gets pushed aside alot with the explanation that her brother is younger blablabla...sd needs to be more considerate, share everything, always look after her younger siblings etc....I feel sorry for sd, tho she can be naughty at times but most of the time she is really good. Hubby always tells sd to look after bd2 and bd5months and I totally get why sd doesnt want to sometimes, she's just a kid herself, she has a right to do her own thing, play by herself etc so when sd has been really good at helping me with bd2 I pay her for it hehe, sd doesnt ask but atleast this way she gets something plus it helps me when I have to mind the baby and toddler is being a bit naughty.
Long rant....dont want to have another weekend like this but it seems its inevitable...
Thanks for reading.
SS: "........... yelling
SS: "........... yelling ..... DICKHEAD!"
DH: BLAP!!!!!!!!!!!!
Belt smaks on bare kid ass .... lather, rinse, repeat.
End of problem.
DH is an abject failure as a father. You knew it, why have another little person victim with him? Of course it is too late now to avoid that disaster so .... time to do something about it.
Try this .... "DH, have you noticed how SS-7 is the manifestation of the complete failure of yourself and BM as parents? Since you are too clueless to address the problems here is how things will work in future. If that little shit so much as opens his mouth in any way other than with respect I will blister his bare ass with a belt. If he so much as causes any of the other kids to so much as twitch I will march him to the nearest corner, blister his bare ass with a belt, put his nose in the corner where he will stand until I get tired. If so much as a peep escapes his lips or his nose loses contact with both intersecting walls the belt will go to work again. So, you have a choice, step up, put your hands between your legs and grab a big old handful of man sack and be a man and a father and get the parenting done before I have to or STFU while I deal with hit. Clear? Good, now move out of my bedroom until you figure out how to be the man that you are supposed to be."
Your DH is sacrificing three children to the evil little shit of a 7yo and it needs to stop IMHO.
As for the screaming ....... DUCT TAPE!!!! }:)
Just kidding of course... at least mostly.
Welcome by the way. I hope you find this to be a good place to vent, contribute, and pick up some useful advice from others who are living the blended family dream.
Hahaha rags always loved
Hahaha rags always loved reading your comments!
See if I smack steson or do anything he goes and tells mum and her whole family and then hubby gets the blame. Its like they can smack and punish when they feel like it but me or hubby do it its like whyyyyy? And considering sd came to our house with 2-3 big bruises on her legs from bm hitting her with a wooden spoon one time (mind youshe got smacked because she didnt want to come to our house and then changed her mind and cried about it) well I thought thats taking it a bit too far but it was just that one incident where sd actually had bruises. Also we lived like 3 min away from eachother.
Ss one the other hand has never had anything like that, he cries begs and pleads and both hubby and bm are trying to reason with him and bribe him and in the end let him do what he wants to do, while im standing there with murder in my eyes and just want to grab the kid and shove him in the car....dont think its abuse to just grab the kid and put him in the car and close the door! No smacking, no talking, just saying you're going and thats it, no matter the tears and cries. Thats what I do with my own daughter and she's just shy of 2 so doesnt even understand alot of things yet.
sorry this is more a vent rather than seeking advice as I know what needs to be done. I've just beennholding all this in for soo long now.
I do try to punish. Sd and ss are playing games and fight so I give one warning, they do it again and I go turn their game off, not saying anything as they were already told the consequences if it happens again...easy right? Nope, I turn game off, ss cries like a newborn baby and daddy swoops in with "if you stop crying right now you can keep playing!" Oh and alot of the times ss will go and hit sd because its always somehow all her fault ss cant play anymore.....
Many arguements have been had due to that. And while I'd prefer have the arguement/discussion once the kids are in bed or gone home to their mums hubby has other ideas...he does it right in front of the kids and then tells them I hate them blablabla....no sorry, what I hate is you being a pussy! And not parenting your kids!
When his kids arent here we get along fine, but its putting alot of strain on me to keep this marriage going when every weekend ends with me being soo angry and agitated.
Sad reality is this crap parenting could very will be the thing that ends my marriage, and its one dumb reason.
More calm and extensive discussion with hubby is on the horizon!