Daddy guilt
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My husband feels guilty for the time he doesn't get to spend with my stepson and in turn takes it out on me. We each brought a child to our marriage. My husband constantly uses the fact that I see my daughter everyday against me. At this point we are on the verge of divorce. I have spent almost 10 years with a husband who has put my stepson on a pedestal above all of the rest of us (we have 2 children together) because he only sees my stepson every other weekend and alternating Fridays. It's not fair to us, we did nothing wrong. Any advice?
It's hard - guilt can be
It's hard - guilt can be blinding - I guess at this stage you need to sit down with counsellor and see if you can come back from brink.
I think you need to tell him hoe unhappy you are and if things continue he will have 3 children he doesn't see all the time. If he won't come to counselling then the choice is made for you and your children.
No point in sticking around then.
It's a tough situation. I am sorry you find yourself stuck in it.
My Stepson will be 18 in
My Stepson will be 18 in November. There is really no point in asking for more time right now. On top of the fact that my stepson wants less time at our house because he wants to spend more time with his friends. Completely understandable he's 17. Again not my fault but something that my husband is upset about and taking out on the rest of us.
The fact that we are here everyday should not be a reason to take us for granted.
First of all this is not your
First of all this is not your fault, do not take your husband's frustration on your shoulders. We as women have a tendency to take negative issues into and on ourselves.
Secondly, if you haven't sat down and talked with him about your feelings I would do this quickly. In fact, if you have examples I would write them down before you have a discussion so that you can bring proof to him of what is going on, the first comment is so correct in that jealousy is blind. I know he feels bad because he doesn't see his son as much as he wants, but he's a Father and he is the provider of his family.
If you divorce and he leaves the home it may be worse for him because he doesn't have a stable environment at that point and a judge may not look to kindly on that fact.
Why can't he mediate or go back to court to gain more time with his son? My husband went to mediation a few weeks ago and he and his ex-wife agreed to my husband having overnights as well as joint custody. If it's that important to him then he would do anything he could to see his son more rather than just complaining to you about it and making it out to be your fault.