DH at it again, and still doesn't get it.
Was looking forward to a great weekend with my husband. My bio son 8 was going with his dad for the weekend, and my SD 9 was supposed to go with her mom for the weekend. Both get picked up from school on Fridays and stay until Sunday night. So that gives me a break on Fridays from having to rush out from work and make it to the school before after care closes. So I do look forward to any days where my son's father picks him up from school.
My DH informs we Thursday night that SD wasn't going with her mom for the weekend. "Why isnt she going?", I asked? His response: "Because she doesnt want to go". I just looked at him for a few seconds with the same frown on my face I had when I asked why she wasnt going. So, what did I do? I enjoyed my weekend. Worked a little late Friday, got some things done at work, went out with co-workers for drinks. Came home about 9:30 PM Friday evening and went to bed. I got up saturday morning and went to my sons baseball practice for an hour, then went to get my nails done, shopped a little. Came back home, rested for about 2 hours, changed clothes and met my cousin for dinner and drinks. I did me. My son is gone for the weekend and this is usually me and my husband's time to be together and/or to just sleep in, or just do nothing, what have you. But, again, he makes this decision to allow her to stay, because she "wants" to. Since when does a 9 year old choose, especially when there is no abuse or neglect going on at the bio parent's home?
And do you think he had a clue why I was p'd? Well, then again, they aren't as clueless as we think. But, he made his choice anyway.
What did he say about you
What did he say about you being away from home and not spending time with -them-?
I think you should talk to him about it, and hold your ground. The problem is if you just continue doing your time alone, and he continues this bullshit with his daughter, soon enough your marriage is the only thing that is going to suffer.
Talk to him. Tell him that you need couple time. If he doesnt get it now, he will get it when its too late.
Ohhh NO!! I smell trouble
Ohhh NO!! I smell trouble brewing there! While I do agree that 'me' time is important I would not make it a gesture of defiance. I think I agree with menarin and I suggest discussing it with DH because once a little chink in the armor is penetrated then that opens up a whole wound site! BM and SD will walk all over BOTH of you. This may sound cynical on my part, I understand if you think that, yet it's a reality that keeps occurring. The old 'give an inch and they'll take a mile' thing is true of kids, and indeed some BM's! My DH tries telling me not to be so 'negative' but he sees it, what I say comes to pass, he even tried telling me one day that his 'crystal ball' was a bit fuzzy but what I said bore out. I wil not say 'I told you so' because he know it, though I would caution against letting them control your DH, and in turn, you marraige and your life together. BOUNDARIES are a crucial key in step situations.