So, ive had issues with bonding with my SD11. Been married 3 years, she lives with us full time as does my Bio son10. I soon learned that most of my frustration has to do with my DH and what he allows, and less to do with my SD. Although, its been difficult getting close to her, she can be extremely annoying, loud and whiny. My son is no saint either. So its been a work in progress. She goes with her mom on Friday after school thru Sunday, so I just grin and bear it until Friday comes. I so look forward to when she leaves. Sad, but true. I do try and do thinga for the good. I spoke to DH about creating and enforcing some chores for the kids in effort to teach them responsibility, provide more structure, etc. Something outside of simply keeping their rooms clean. They are in 5th and 6th grade now, so its time. My DH was in agreement and he even mentioned it to the kids on Monday morning (he takes them to school), so they expected to complete their assigned chores when they got home from school (I pick them up from school), and have their free time once done. My son was to vacuum living room and family room. SD was to sweep hallway and kitchen. Son did everything, SD only did hallway as I was cooking in the kitchen and advised her to sweep it after dinner.

DH gets home from work right as the kids were almost done eating dinner. I advised him that they had finished homework at school and had done their little chores and that SD only needed to sweep the kitchen now that dinner was done. I asked him to check and make sure all was done good, then they could play with the new puppy that i got for my bday. He said ok, he would check everything out, then he walked out of the bedroom. A minute later, if that, he comes back in the room and grabs the puppy. I knew then that SD11 had not swept the kitchen as i didnt hear him tell her to do so, nor was their time. So i get up and go into the family room where the kids were playing and i asked her had she swept the kitchen. She said "no, because when i came out i saw my dad doing it"! I then walked out and went to my husband and asked him why he had done that? His response was that when he went to check their work, the floor only had a couple of pieces of lettuce that had fallen when i was making salad, so he just picked them up. I was like, "what? Her chore was to sweep the kitchen. Doesnt matter if it was spick and span clean, the point was for them to do their chores". I asked him, what kind of example are you setting? It was undermining me. Here i am trying to enforce this, since i pick them up from school, and here he comes along and not only doesnt have her sweep, which wouldve taken all of 2 mins, he does it himself! Oh was I pissed!! This is typical of him! Of course he didnt get why i was upset. I told him from now on, he can handle their chores, im out of it!